Encouraging Children to be Dishonest

Hello ElusiveButterfly, I do wish that this had been in practice when my high school ring had been stolen from my locker. My parents spent over 250.00 back in the 80's for my H.S. ring. I had it less than two weeks before it was stolen from my gym locker. Suffice it to say that our school's gym lockers had rotating locker numbers, so anyone who previously had the locker would know the combination. We got our rings during our junior year, so any senior might have been the culprit. My folks were both disabled by the time that I got my ring, so it was money spent that they couldn't afford. I guess I needn't point out that I truly resent the thief who took my gold ring. Grrrr! I hope your grandson gets his snowpants back. It is a very serious challenge to comraderie to know that there is a thief among us.

well, who knows why people steel. It may have been jealously since they were new pants. But it is sad. I would be extremely upset if someone took anything of my sons. I know he would probably come home crying since he's only 5. I hope your grandson isn't too upset. You just need to explain that people do things like that and let him know that the person who did it will eventually get punished and nothing is his fault. Especially in the holiday season, people do tend to get more desperate. A few Christmases' ago I had someone break into my car just for a stereo. He did eventually get when he deserved since he also took several other peoples stereos in different cites. He paid me restitution for a year.

I definitely don't encourage dishonesty. When there is a phone call for my daughter from someone she doesn't want to talk to, she tell me to say that she isn't home. I just look at her and say, "I don't lie." I had a real problem with her lying when she was younger so there is no way I am going to lie in front of her, for her or otherwise. The only lying I do is that of omission. I'm not sure that can be considered lying. My daughters have always brought weird things home. They have always said they found them on the street. I have often wondered what to do about this but am at a loss. My daughter found a Toronto Maple Leaf hat on the road. She loves the Leafs. What was I supposed to do? Tell her to go throw it back on the road? I admit a hat is not the same as snowpants, it's a little harder to lose snowpants but it can be done. Have you ever seen the lost and found box at an elementary school. At my daughter's school it is not a box; it is the floor running the whole length of one wall, probably about 10 feet. It is unfortunate that they were new snowpants. Can you get a pair at a secondhand store? Kids grow so quickly I don't always like to buy things like that brand new.

Have your son change his lock to a key lock if that is allowed so that no one can look over his shoulder and get the combination in the future. Snowpants are too expensive to keep replacing plus it may make the child feel insecure if he knows someone is taking advantage of him like that. Next they may try to take things directly from his person!

I have heard a lot of things but this is a new one, you think because your grand child lost his pants that someone stole them, and you are blaming the parents of that child for encouraging him to steal, yeah not something I believe. My daughter gave her shirt away and when I got angry she told me it was stolen so I went to the school and lo and behold the little girl was wearing it. So we brought her mother in and the little girl said my daughter gave it to her, the mom flustered thought one of her aunts had given it to her. Neither her or I encouraged our children to lie or take other peoples things. I would investigate that further.

This upsets me as well. We have had several new jackets come up missing at daycare/school/Chuck E Cheeses. These parents know some kid out there must be missing his jacket if there kid brings one home. I guess the kid could lie as well though and say well Mom Tommy GAVE it to me because he didnt need it anymore. Its terrible how kids learn to lie so early in life.

Sadly this has become a trend now and we have become a deceitful society, but then again we haven't got good role models in the government have we? Lies thrive and honesty is treated as a plague. It is a sad state of affairs when children have stuff taken, it causes bad feeling, upset as well as suspicion. I have seen it when I worked at a primary school. It's not what the children steal, like pens or such, it's the principle behind it. One little girl was heart broken, because her dad had given her 50p to buy some cakes for Mother's Day and the fifty pence piece had been stolen from her coat pocket! I hope that your snowpants turn up, but I can't see it to be honest.

That is too bad. I hope that the snowpants get returned. I think that it is terrible to allow a child to keep something that doesn't belong to them. My daughter has lost many thngs at school and we rarely see them gain. Sometimes they are in the lost and found, but not often. My son has a similar back pack to another child in his class and a few times he has had the other childs toys, mittens , ect in hs back pack. It never even occured to me to keep the items. I know my child would be upset if they lost something. We would hope the other person would return it, just as we would.

Oh that bites indeed! It is teaching a child the wrong thing and will not help the child in the future or to grow up. It will only lead to trouble and dishonesty for life. And we both know where that leads. I hope the snowpants show up. Happy Holidays!

I hope that they are returned also. That is sad that a parent has to teach their kids to steal, or possibly the parent seen them and stole them ? Could that have been the case ? that is not much better at all, its still a bad example, teaching your kids that if you see something you want you can just TAKE IT. There are plently of places to ASK for help if you cannot afford warm winter clothing for your kids.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if it is not our entire society that encourages an "easy come, easy go" attitude, which generally involves a certain lack of respect for other people and their property. Is it parents who are necessarily doing this? I am not sure. I notice how there's a growing sense of "entitlement" among people, like something they don't have but *want* is just "theirs for the taking." I'm sorry you're the victim of that kind of insensitive nonsense.

Well I know that it may seem discouraging, but are you sure that all the parents have even gotten the note? Maybe there was a child that has the exact same pair and doesnt realize that they have the wrong pair. Or maybe your grandson simply misplaced that and thought he had them in his locker. There could be many reasons for why they havent been returned yet. But yes, teaching your children dishonesty is not the right thing to do. If you find out who was the theif (if one) I would tell their parents to raise a better child.

I often feel like my mom is teaching my son to be a sneak and to lie. I will hear her say things like, "Don't tell dad, you know he will take it away from you." or "Shhh...Don't tell mom and dad." She gives him a lot of junk food and tells him it's okay to get it from Grandma even if mom and dad don't want him to have it. This might not be so bad, but we live together, so it is a daily occurrence. He is only 17 months! What is he going to act like at four when he really knows what's going on. I don't want him to be a sneak or a lier and still haven't figured out what to do. I would hope that the snowpants are not something that some parent is encouraging their child to take. Maybe the child has hidden them and are afraid they will be in trouble...

oh this is sad to hear that some body had taken the baby snowpant. but here i just want to add that it is not parents always who would encourage their children to do stealing.may the parents would not be knowing about you. i m not saying that parents don't do that but it is not always parents are responsible

It is possible that the parent's of the child responsible for taking the snowpants are unaware of their child's actions. I am a teacher and know that there are many parents out their that aren't aware of their children's behavior. As sad as it is, some of them don't even care. I hope you are able to resolve this issue.

That's just sad. It's upsetting too. Why is it easier for people to be dishonest than to be honest and do the right thing? I'm sorry about your grandson losing his new snowpants. I hope they show up!

It is a very awkward situation when theft occurs at a school. There is only so much the teachers can do, legally, to recover the items. It's possible the teacher suspects who stole your grandsons snowpants, but would not be allowed to search his/her bag. In view of the fact that there was no response from a parent, it would certainly look deliberate. As a parent or grandparent you may be allowed to approach individual parents, but the teacher probably can't.

The child's parents may not necessairly encourage their child or children to be honest, they may counsel them about the right and wrong thing to do, it's just that children do not always listen to what their parents tell them, and stealing is no exception. Some children just don't listen, period. Don't blame the parents, blame society, and it's mixed messages in the media about what is right and wrong.

This has been a common problem since my son was little and he is almost 22. In his school, kids had sneakers stolen right off their feet, having to walk him barefoot and the thing is no one seems to care. Make sure his name is in everything that goes to school with him, I have caught kids and recover clothing that way.

It's sad and very frustrating but yes, there are some parents out there who encourages thier kids to steal and tell lies..maybe indirectly but still..so you can imagine the life of this kid would be..really sad.. I hope your grnadson found that snowpants soon!