You don't like your engagement or wedding ring?
By EvesfrenAdry
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
Malaysia
18 responses
@ilse72 (1450)
• United States
30 Oct 06
I'm lucky; my husband has great taste but he was the one who apologized for my ring! He felt it was "too small" and he knew I liked marquise. But the ring was gorgeous...a round solitare. When I got that ring, I didn't care in the slightest what size it was or shape, etc....it was the love behind it and knowing he loved me enough to want to marry me. Five years later, on our anniversary, I got a larger ring and it was a marquise. Five years after that, I got an eternity band. Now, 34 years later with more expensive jewelry and particularly rings (I have a weakness for rings), that engagement ring still means the most because of the promise of a future together. He still says he wants to buy me a huge "diamond rock" someday. It really doesn't matter to me...I have him and I love him and that is what counts!
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 06
Ilse!!!!!Hey...everybody Ilse is online and I respect her so much like my own mum...I'm glad to hear from you. You are wonderful and adorable Ilse and no wonder Ray loves you so. I would love to buy you a ring too someday since you like to collect them. May God bless the two of you and may your marriage and bliss last forever. Thank you for your response Ilse.
2 people like this
@ilse72 (1450)
• United States
30 Oct 06
Adry, when I saw this question, my first thought was, "Did Adry get engaged and not tell me?" And then I thought, no, she wouldn't do that. :) Don't worry, if you don't like the ring, be tactful but honest...and suggest that you go together to pick one out that you both like. Or go together and pick out several you really like and let the final choice, of which one of to buy, be his choice. He will feel he still made the choice and you will be surprised since you won't know which one he bought.
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 06
Thank you again dear Ilse....as usual, you would give me that motherly advise and I love all of them! Don't worry, I will tell you when I get engaged...just want to gather some tips for the future. Takecare!
2 people like this
@micheller (1365)
• United States
30 Oct 06
nooo! that would make them very upset.
1 person likes this
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 06
This is for april444 and sorry for the late reply. I was away. I just want you to know april444 that whatever questions we post in myLot may or may not be about us. It could be about friends, neigbours, family, colleagues or something you read or heard or happened. There is really no reason to get personal and attack anyone of us here with that kind of remarks. Its just a place of gathering opinions, discussing the questions intellectually, tactfully and honestly. Also a place to learn from one another. Do have an open mind and shift that paradigm to something more positive. Try reading Steven Covey's Book "7 habits of the most effective people" to understand how. Thank you anyway for your response.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
9 Nov 06
I don't think personally I could have ever done that. But don't loose your Ring either... as that could get them upset and think you never liked it also.
@sixdegrees (98)
• United States
8 Nov 06
I wouldn't tell my fiance I didn't like the design of my ring (which, by the way, baby, if you're reading this, I love mine!) Your fiance spent, hopefully, a lot of time choosing something that means a lot to him. I think that would hurt his feelings to tell him you don't like it. BUT, if it truly is something you don't like, you can always get a wrap, have the stone(s) put in a different setting or tell your fiance that you only want to wear a wedding band and not both the band and engagement ring and help choose something you both really like!
1 person likes this
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 06
Firstly, let me correct you. I am not engaged nor married. I posted the question from stories I gathered from my colleague who recently got engaged. Since there were so many different opinions from the rest I thought it would be good to post the same issue on myLot and gather more opinions. Yes, you have a point there. We could always change it later by adding diamonds or stones or persuade the fiance to upgrade it to the latest design. Thank you for your response.
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 06
I think I'm going to love both you and your wife Tarachand. You're both so cute!
1 person likes this
@tarachand (3895)
• India
2 Nov 06
Thanks for the compliment! I think (as does my wife who is sitting here and having a tete-a-tete with me right now while I am typing) you are cute too!
@cplpacesgirl (754)
• United States
30 Oct 06
That's really tough. My fiance and I are upgrading my ring already. We found out that we can't insure my ring and it needs a lot of work done. We got a kind of cheap ring because we had limited funds and limited time (he's in the military) for him to propose lol. So now we found a GREAT ring and we're buying it in two weeks. It looks almost identical.. but better quality.
1 person likes this
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 06
Good for you Cplpacesgirl! Good idea too, eh? Just tell em to upgrade to a newer design and save the embarassment! Will try that if I get into this situation in future....Thank you for your response.
@cplpacesgirl (754)
• United States
30 Oct 06
thanks. You just have to go about the situation carefully. You don't want to lie to them.. but you also want a ring you'll love.. the best thing to remember is that it is a symbol of his love for you. Of the life the two of you share. So just with that... it's a thing of rare beauty.
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 06
Hmmmmm....backbone, eh? Let me think about this for a while. Thank you for your response Tareqfayyad.
@browneyedwomen (1827)
• United States
8 Nov 06
my problem isnt that I dont like the ring as a whole, I just dont like the fact that its yellow gold. I dont think yellow gold goes well with me. I'd much rather prefer white...and if it makes you feel any better I did tell my fiance and he said thats ok...we can dip it and I'll be happy so will he!! He didnt get mad at all with me!!!
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 06
Good attitude your fiance has - open minded. That should be a good start to a better future ahead already. I see a win-win situation here and that's great.I like white gold too and would give that hint to my boyfriend just in case he wants to propose. I also like sapphire or red ruby intead of diamonds. I don't like gold either though it is good to invest in them. Gold has more resale value than white gold (at least so in my country)but who's selling, eh? Thank you and goodluck!
@khushboo1984 (1257)
• India
30 Oct 06
I am very choosy about the clothes and jewellery I wear. When I would get engaged I would want my finace to take me to the jewellery shop and we both would choose my rings. And if he choose the ring without me and it is not good maybe I will tell them.
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 06
Same here Kushboo1984...butI do like surprises and this is one which makes decision difficult. Perhaps just a band with diamonds or just plain gold band or white gold is easiest if they want to surprise us, what do you think?
@ArsonCuff (3114)
• United States
30 Oct 06
I think most guys these days if the have any doubts are smart enough to get the woman to look at rings with them beforehand and either let them pick out what ring they would love to have or take note of the one she says she likes the most
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 06
That's nice Cortney, and why not, eh? If he loves you enough. Alot of couples repeat their vows after several year of marriage and that's also an opportunity to get another set... or one on a second or third honeymoon. Thank you for your response.
@mandakat (879)
• Canada
31 Oct 06
I might if I really hated it...
But I don't think that's overly possible :) I think any guy who loves me would have a pretty good idea of what I'd like...
But if I wasn't instantly in love with the ring, I'd probably start researching the setting, the style, the brand, the material (gold, platinum, etc) and his story behind picking it out. It might take on new meanings and allow you to see it in a new light this way
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 06
Sorry for the late reply. I was away. Thank you for the response.
@tsmeesa98 (576)
• United States
30 Oct 06
well I would probably say something but that's because the idea is that you are supposed to wear it for the rest of your life.... of course if it's an heirloom or something you're probably SOL
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 06
Heirloom! Hmmm....I love old stuff. They are usually alot more classy and has good quality then the current stuff....I guess I would probably insist on choosing one myself(shame on me, yeah) and ruin the surprise too....let's get more ideas from the rest here, eh? Thank you though for your response.
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 06
Thank you for your response and sorry I took some time to reply. I was away.
@jennie2665 (683)
• United States
30 Oct 06
I think it would depend on your fiance/husband. By rights you shouldn't tell them. It is the love behind it. If you feel comfortable with him, you might be able to talk to him about it. Evidently he thought is was just right for you and or fit the bill.
I know my husband has bought me a purse that I just couldn't stand and I told him I wasn't too fond of it. But that is different than an engagment or wedding ring.
I absolutly love my ring, but I was around to pick it out.
@EvesfrenAdry (358)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 06
You're right Jennie2665 but some men just don't have a thing for rings. One of my friend's ring is shaped like a star and kept pricking her all over, believe it or not! Even scratches - yet she refuse to tell him. Thank you for your response.
