Why do woman have to bend to men?

We're an exception to the rule, or at least I hope you consider me amoung those. 1. I'm not intimidated. I will talk. Probably not as long as a woman. I get straight to the point & say it, but I will talk. 2. Yes, I decompress but there's enough time in the night to get the chores done without being frantic about it. I do the dishes & help with the cooking when asked ( I don't just jump in uninvited because my wife could have something planned ). We split the homework help. The kids old enough to do her own bath. I do laundry too. 3. See reply to 1. 4. NOBODY wants to be put on the spot, NOBODY. As for why they wrote the article. To get attention of course.

your discussion convers a lot. i think its because some men have craeted this article. they want to put everything to their own side.it is just ridiculous. I think many men talk even more than women.Women are far more gracious in many cases than men.

Sounds like a "Get out of jail free" pass for men like that. They can show it to their wife and say.... see honey, it is just in my nature and this article proves it. See, it isnt my fault it is the way it is.... Lame lazy excuses for lame lazy men.

Okay - I know I'm taking a hiatus from here for a but I just knew tis is what this discussion was (just came from myspace) so I had to post my thoughts on it here too. LMAO! That's hilarious!! I swear! I love the bit about decompressing!!!! I don't have kids and I feel that because after coming home from working I've still got to cook, clean, and do laundry! And all I want to do is "decompress". But I can't complain too much because I do get to a little bit as I don't have kids. The funny thing about this though is that they really felt they had to tell us those things. I think most of us already know these things about men. And most men just want us to nod and excuse them.

You know, Tia, I have known men like that in the past, that fit every single ONE of those issues and more besides. I feel fortunate now to have found a man that communicates with me. He's rarely secretive and when he is, I know there's something going on! Lately it's been Christmas secrets, which I kind of hate because it gets my little spidey sense thing going making me wonder what he's up to! lol

Time for me to get burned at the mylot stake for heresy. [--"1. Guys are Intimidated. Since women are such talkers and communicators, men clam of with fear because they can't keep up. (Oh please! Men can kill a spider or wrestle a snake that women run from but they can't open their mouth and talk? That seems like a lame excuse to me. If they are so intimidated, then maybe they should step up their game and act like it is a competition. God knows that men love having competitions!)"--] Maybe because there are plenty of times conversation is just a game of Russian Roulette? Seriously even I've been through this with plenty of women (and mylot, forums, blogs are no exception to this); and others report the same thing. This also applies to conversation in a non-relationship situation, not just relationships and marriage. If you don't say the "right" things in either, you are subjected to one of the 6 bullets in the chamber (remember, its usually no-win). Here's an item, bogus questions (or RR questions from the namesake). When someone gets questions like "does this make me look, ____?", "which one ______ or ______?"... and they are asked as a test or asked semi-rhetorical (meaning his answer doesn't matter) that discourages conversation. There are also times where one thing is said and its interpreted to something completely different, or picked apart so only one particular thing is hear, or read between the lines when no connotation was even there. Take one of those questions for example. If he answers truthfully...it could be dire to say the least. If he lies (or romantically embellishes) then she knows he's lying and he's lost there too. Along with this basically, there are things that are not to be said, things that could be said (but may result in a metaphorical bullet to brain), and overall things she wants to hear. Some conversations, thoughts and opinions are even shamed into silence, another dissuading factor in overall conversation. Then there are partners who don't listen or don't like the subject of what the guy has to share (even his day). Some situations of non-communication result from the "day" discussions not being about each others days but more about one partner only. What then? One final point, there are women who don't give a damn what their partner is feeling, and others more who think a guy talking about his feelings is weird/wuss, whatever pitiful namecalling that's selected -_-. Why communicate anything when what you say either doesn't register, isn't taken right, is spun, or doesn't matter? I have little patience for nonsense like this and there are others who feel the same or similar. [--"2. Guys Need to Decompress. This is saying that a man wants to check his email or go to the bathroom or just be selfish when he gets home because he has been helping everyone else at work. (OK, I actually get that. But seriously....if you have a partner/family at home, why should the work place get the best of him and home is just let with the leftovers...which is nothing! And hey! Why can't a woman want to decompress? But Nooooooo!!! Women get home and we have to deal with kids, homework, dinner, baths, picking out clothes, and chores. Decompress? By the time the Woman wants to decompress, he wants to fool around in bed and guess what....that isn't happening because while he was "decompressing", she was still WORKING!!!!)"--] Women can decompress and some men help out in that respect (either spending time with kids, helping with homework, doing a chore or two, cooking, etc, even a combination of). What say you in that respect? Also consider workdays can be very long and very taxing for both men and women (10-11+ hours a day is no joke, believe me). Men and women should at least talk about their day to their partners, but they should at least have a choice to do so and on compromisable terms. There are times people just need to relax and recoup for at least an hour or so, this is universal. Do not worry, I also see the other parts of this argument, you have excellent points. I say however, that there are cases where this does not occur, and others where the complete opposite occurs. [--"3. Guys are more comfortable with Actions than Feelings. I don't think I need to explain that one. But their example is that a man would rather bring hoe a flower to say he loves her than to talk about it. (Can you say one word? LAZY If I could just do the kids homework myself if sure would save me a bunch of time! But noooooo!!!! I have to show them how and why. Wanna DO something? Go make dinner while we are doing the homework without asking us 20 questions to get the job done! Cause that is the ONE time he DOES want to ask questions. Cause if he asks enough, he knows we will do it ourselves!)"---] Your frustration is understandable. But reducing and degrading honest acts of a spouse that are gestures of love and compassion is rather discouraging. There are of course other acts besides just a single flower, and you do make a good case here with the domestic issues. Again, I'm one to consider other cases and try looking at it overall. The guy could have worked completely hard for weeks and had thought of giving a present, a quick getaway vacation, what have you. Are such actions...worth nothing or worth barely anything? Even with the single flower example, typically there is a card and/or some verbal communication and appreciation of the spouse! And what of guys that do what you stated as a suggestion and what I have seen in other relationship/marital cases? I've seen instances (even lived a few) where the phrase "not good enough" comes from the mouth of the partner. And how do you think that translates in the relationship One clue, it doesn't just effect gift giving, or actions, it also effects the key item of the panel here... communication. [--"4. Last one.....Guy Down Want to Be Put on the Spot. (Of course not! Cause then he might have to be held accountable!)"--] Same applies to women. [--"So, now that I have said all this about the article where it is being explained why men do not communicate...here is my question. Is that being explained so that men can know their errors and correct their ways OR are women supposed to nod and excuse the men yet again?"--] Probably trying to excuse men, but I've seen plenty of posts, forums, articles, news reports, tv shows, radio shows that excuse women in a lot of situations (namely relationships). Subjects, phrases, books, blogs like "how to be a better date for her" "[8, 10, 20, 50] qualities he needs to be with her" "learn how to be a nice guy" "learn how not to be a nice guy" "okay he cheated he's a scumbag" "okay she cheated, he sucks as a lover" "how to keep talking to her" "why you weren't good for her" and I know I'm forgetting some but still, they are out there Plenty of times, no matter what really happens or goes on, anything wrong is his fault. -_- However it could also be a message to get men to correct these "flaws". I've seen forums and posting on that too. --"Here is the site that I promised: http://health.yahoo.com/e... "-- Been there, done that. --"Note: This is not meant for all men. Obviously I have met some men on here that communicate pretty darn well. How come they don't factor THAT???"-- Excellent point. Other things I want to add. Did anyone see the comments sheet. I know its rather lengthy, but there are various opinions and items that are worth considering in this matter. Also, consider this in my overall statement. Communication is key to the relationship. Some couples drift far apart mentally and eventually physically if communication is barren. There should also be other important things considered too! Compromise, understanding, sharing, these also go with communication and a lot of what makes up a relationship! Not only that, couples TAKE ACTION! (and don't even think of trying to "pun" this one -_-) You're going to wait for some internet entry, some blog, some stranger to fix your relationship problems?! You're crazy. Its YOUR relationship and thats YOUR partner. The only person who knows your partner and your relationship best is you. You can ask for help or look at advice, but in the end its up to you. Sitting and complaining does nothing. If your husband or boyfriend isn't opening up and communicating as much, talk to him about it. If he's shy, compromise! Goodness. -_-. If your significant other is talking way too much and you just want a moment or two to relax or recoup, talk about it. Don't do it in a discouraging way, but communicate to your partner what is going on. If its not completely acceptable, work it all out. Reach an agreement on it! Your partner is not a superbeing, he or she probably needs that hour to relax a bit. However, you can work out issues like this it just takes a serious discussion (or several). Relationships (and marriage especially) take plenty of work. These are also issues you should consider if you want to be or are already in a relationship. **Disclaimer from lawyer: This is not meant for all women, just some counter claims, thoughts, experiences for the discussion.**

Back about 15 years, I was a head chef, the job was loaded with stress, of doing 8 things at once at least for up to 16 hours a day. By the time I got home from one of these days, all I wanted to do was have a little light hearted chat, have a small meal and go to bed for some much needed sleep. It wouldn't be until I had a day off that my now deceased partner and I had any truly meaningful conversations or the like, but we did talk. I guess I was pretty busy earning money to pay the mortgages, the bills and feed and clothe the kids in a job I know I was good at. My partner often wanted to talk to me about more meaningful things with me, but she could tell when I got home I was way past a little tired, and would let it wait until the next morning, or my day off to talk of these things, and at those times we talked quite a bit, and managed to maintain a good healthy relationship, something I now greatly miss.