Situation is very Grave!
By subha12
@subha12 (18441)
India
December 25, 2007 11:29pm CST
Yesterday I got a call from my friend. she was my batchmate in college. Like me she is also a software Engineer working in reputed MNC. Now her parents her so much pressurizing her to get married .As she has no relationship, they are for arranged marriage. Her parents are trying to find a match for abt 3 yrs but it has still not materialized. now her father is telling her all the expenses he had done to look for a match for her. It hurts my friend. also Now they want to marry her off anyhow. so they are Ok with any groom. Like my friend ha spreference for grooms from her own field ,i.e. IT. but her paraents are ok with any one in Bank service, teaching etc and even business man. My friendthinks as IT job has different nature and pay scale is higher than others, so the groom from the same field is good. Her parents are not letiing an ear to what she says.
What she should do? what do ou think?
7 people like this
10 responses
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
1 Jan 08
It depends on the culture-in cultures where arranged marriages or the consent of parents hold absolute, I can only sympathize with your friend, because there is very little anybody can do-but where things are guided by freedom of choice, i would have simply advised that your friend goes with her heart and goes all the way!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 Jan 08
Her father sounds quite worried about his daugher's future and the expense of trying to get her future settled. This is understandable and perfectly reasonable I feel. Can she not find a husband for herself? Or perhaps she could move out and get a little place for herself. It cannot possibly be that a woman lives with her parents or lives with her husband. If she makes a deccent salary she should do this and be independant.
Is there a particular reason why a suitable groom has not been found?
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
27 Dec 07
ohh... that was tough!! since its their tradition and her parents are following the old ones..maybe she must convince them hard enough that its a new age now and love really matters in choosing partner now a days..it will take time i guess the convincing process but she must be patient and prove it to them how it works now!!
@kareng (59115)
• United States
26 Dec 07
I don't believe in arranged marriages. It doesn't sound like your friend does either. She shouldn't be forced to marry just anyone of her father's choosing. This is wrong. I wish her luck in this situation and maybe she will find the one of her dreams really fast!
@nmhschic2004 (1238)
• United States
27 Dec 07
Maybe she should sit down and calmly explain to her parents how she feels. No one should be pressured into marrying someone that they arent in love with. And it shouldnt at all be about money. Like someone else said maybe she can move somewhere else where she would have a say in what she wants.
@bstarun2007 (72)
•
26 Dec 07
I think your friend is correct, working side your friend knows very well ,bes your sit &think decide .
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
26 Dec 07
I think she should move to a country where she will be free to choose whoever she wants to marry... i feel bad for women who are being controlled and forced by their parents to marry... this is the modern times... and women should be given the freedom who they want to marry...
She has the choice to follow her parents wishes and her own...
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
26 Dec 07
Hello my dear friend. I guess that it might be the reason that she has been busy with her IT job that leaves her not enough time to deal with her personal love affairs that makes her parents worry about her and try to get her a lifelong partner so that she has a home of her own at an early date. But I think that it is better for the parents to respect more of their daughter's wish in choosing her partner so that she will live a better and more sastifactory life based on her own choice. Anyway, I wish your friend good luck in choosing a groom. Blessed be.
@akshaypande1989 (13)
• India
26 Dec 07
See nothing can happen before her father's own oulook changes. Either she should sit and calmly talk to him, ask for more time or she should, I know this sounds abstract but, trust God and believe that she gets the right man. It WILL really work if she can believe hard enough
@babyfalconer (20)
• China
26 Dec 07
I think she should think about her parents' opinion.Maybe they do can't communicate with us on most of things,and maybe there are some differences on the way of thinking ,but about life,experience is really important,we just think we are the right and they are obsolete,but when we grow up,we'll find that parents' advice is really apropos.
just think about it,if the husband is also a IT man,then the couples always receive the radiation all day,then what will happen to the baby? maybe you'll say they have the profect radiation protect...so,it's just a presume, not formal reason.
Seriously,though not take her parents' opinion, yet need think about it.
