To Tell Her or Not To Tell Her?

Say hey,lets investigate our men and see if they are being honest and sincere to us.Then figure out ways to see what they both do when your not around.Check their e-mails or whatever you can think of to do.So if your checking them both out you can then catch the one cheating.That way you can have a reason to prove it to her without saying what you already know.It can be a secret between you and her.She can find out that way.

Hi cowgirljess, This is a heart breaking dilemma. Are you sure of this "cheating". You have to ask yourself, "Are you sure she is not aware of this?", "Can he really do anything wrong enough for her to let him go?", "What are the reasons for the marriage", "What kind of relationship do they have?". Unless you can answer any or all of these questions you probably should not get involved. I think you should be a good friend and let them make the decisions on what they are going to do with their lives. You sound like a great friend your concern for her is quite heartfelt, but this is her decision to take this next step with the relationship and his. If they both want to go through with it, it will be something you will have to accept. Relationships are personal and involve time, personal growth, and life experience to understand and maintain. I hope this helps. Take Care and Happy New Year.

i think you should deffo tell her she deserves to know. i would hate to be in this situation but if i were i would tell my friend. good luck :)

I believe your friend has the right to know she is being cheated on before she marries him,if I were you I would tell her if you think its going to cause problems for your relationship then maybe you should talk to your man first and let him know whats going on or tell the cheater you know and he needs to tell your friend or you will. Good luck! The two year old will be alright either way.

Boy that is a tough one because she may not believe you and just feel you are trying to cause trouble. Im sorry you have to live with that feeling. Maybe just let it play out? What does your man think? He knows about it to right?

Have you talked this over with your man? What does he think? Does he know? If he doesn't know, then maybe you can help each other. If he does know and does nothing, then it's pretty bad. I think that your man will side with you on this and not his friend. What you need to do is build up a case, like you are going to court. Get evidence and lots of it. There are many ways to play it. A dangerous, but effective way of making something happen is to present the evidence to your friend's husband to be, then give him a choice to stop cheating or else... However, things have a way of revealing itself. Your friend could find out in the future that you knew and said nothing. It's a tough one, but if you are really her good friend, then I think you have to find a way to tell her.

ok soooo i have this..lol..i have been threw this soo many times i have written a few books lol..what i have done is..written a letter..annyonomously but give names..and places and let her do her own investigating..orr send an sms under a new email name no one knows..and tell her..whatever u decide to do..she has to know..and that way u wont be directly in teh middle and wont lose either one..just keeo u and ur mans name outof it..and i know they have a child.but thats no excuse to stay in a horrible relatonship for the child..things will just get worse and she doesnt deserve that.So i say find a way to tell her not from you..she needs to know..good luck..

I would tell her. She has a right to know. If you don't want to get yourself in trouble I would just mail her a typed letter telling her what you know and just leave it as anonymous. when she asks you about it, cause you know she will, just come clean. That way you won't be the one who told her, at least no one will know that.

Look here you have to judge your priority. If you think that you must say to your friend that this man is chaeting her, go ahead and tell her gently. Before mentioning the whole thing let her also understnd that it can ruin relation of yours.So you have to be careful.

This is a very touchy subject. If you tell her she might be mad at you and possibly even blame you. But if you dont tell her and she finds out she will probably be very upset with you. If you tell her just ask her to leave your name out of it. I know this is a very hard decision to make. I have been in this situation before. And in the end i made the decision to tell my friend. So if i was you i would tell her.

Well, as usual, I've got a pretty 'politically incorrect' view of the situation. No. 1, it's really none of your business and pointing it out to her is only going to create problems. Once my sister was with a guy who slapped her around occasionally, and I just happened to be there one night when he did. When I laid into him my sister came to his defense! I made it a rule since then to never interfere in other people's private lives. If your girlfriend is turning a blind eye to her own inner guidance it is not your job to correct her. They'll work it out in their own time or they won't, whatever. I know most people are saying that it's your duty to 'be honest' with your friend, blah blah blah, but they're wrong. You might drop a hint or two if it would make you feel better, but trust me, you don't want to be the bearer of bad tidings. On the other hand don't listen to me or anyone else, just follow your own guidance. With practice it gets a lot easier.

If you tell her, she's likely not going to believe you, blow up on you and then not be your friend anymore. But on the other hand, if she already has suspicions that her man is not being faithful, that information may be the shove she needs to move out or kick him to the curb. You know your friend better than we do. Do you think she can handle this? If you think she's clueless, personally I wouldn't tell anyone. It's not my business. But if you think she has suspicions, then I'd tell her. It may be good for her to know.

I'd agree to cloudkicker's suggestion to tell your friend or get the message across in a more discrete way. If your friend dismisses your warning then it will no longer be your fault at least you've cleared your part and yes,I'd also agree that don't interfere anymore. But true, any way you put this situation is very tricky, saying it openly to anybody concerned (your friend, her man, your man)would definitely make you the "homewrecker" even if you meant well for your friend. Let them work things out if she does investigate and confronts her man or not. Good luck to you. Have a nice year ahead. Happy New Year.

I think she has a right to know. if you know and she is your friend, then you should tell her, better now than after they get married....let her figure out how to handle the rest you know...whether she will stay and forgive or leave. My friend is with my mans BFF...:-) if my man were cheating on me and she knew about it, i would want her to tell me and vice versa.... No one wants to be cheated on and no one should...that is the lowest thing anyone could possible do to another person. It is cowardly and only low-lives do it! But it is only my opinion that you should tell your friend.

I would say something to her cuz she will find some how. I would want to know if my bf was cheating if one of my friends and if you guys are close then she would probably do the same for you and i think if your bf gets mad for you being honest and telling your friend what you have seen then thats stupid.