My Sister's Birthday is Jan. 20th.

It isn't her fault, I just plain her sick Husband, for us not being close.

I would go ahead and send the card then. She would be hirt if you didn't, most likely. I hope her husband lets her receive it from you. Does he know you don't like him?

Yes he kows, I hate being in the same room with him. I am going to send her a card.

I thought about it, It would be selfish, and I am not selfish. I will I am going to go out and buy her a card tomorrow. I just can't stand him she has been married to him for a long time. He is a Child M. and I never forgave him for that, but she did forgive him, I can never for give what he did to my niece. she was only 7, it happen long time ago but I will never forget it.

Strange things happen when you love somebody my friend. OK, so he repels you for what he did to your niece and I suppose it would most people, but your sister has exercised her own preferences and forgiven him. Who knows what reasons she has for that, but when all is said and done, she's still your sister, Marcia. Sorry, I don't mean to side with anybody here, nor condone what he did, and I can imagine how you feel, but maybe, just maybe, your sister knows something that you don't, and if it hasn't happened since, then perhaps he's relented and your sister has accepted that it won't happen again. I just hope so, for everybody's sakes. Perhaps he's taken some sort of counselling, or treatment that you don't know about? Anyhow, this is not really what the discussion is about so I mustn't get carried away here. The discussion is about a birthday card for your sister, and I'm sure you love her, deep down, whether you agree with her forgiving her husband or not. So, I think you made the right decision. You're not selfish... you just have a set of life rules. :)

You are very right, It was a long time ago, and I guess he learned his lesson, because he did go to jail, he even tried this with her daughter. I will never forgive him, both nieces. I do love my sister though, like I said it is not her fault the way he was. they have been married for 20 yrs.

I read your response for #1, now I understand why you could loose touch with them. I still say send her the card and let her know you were thinking of her and you love her. Does she communicate with anyone in the family? Do you know if he is abusive to your sister, could she be afraid of him and is maybe stuck with him. Does your neice still live with them or is she grown now. I do understand why you would be angry, but like you said God Forbid something to happen without you sending her a birthday card. If she has been on your mind, maybe you have been on her mind and someone has to make the first move. You are a good kind not selfish person, go ahead and make the first move. Good luck Marcie, remember no matter what, you are sisters forever, you do have a special bond.

I am feeling very sentimental, I will take everyone's advise,everyone here is right. I was thinking about this so hard that is why I wrote down my feeling. I think I will send her a nice present in the mail along with a card, and tell her I love her very much, no matter what.

You know Vicky I was just thinking about that, I would feel terrible, God forbid.

Welcome to Mylot, thanks for your support will do!

Welcome to Mylot, thanks for your support will do!

You are welcome Marciascott. Take Care.

Welcome to Mylot it does cause a lot of stress when family Members or Inlaws don't get along. well that is why we weren't close because of her husband. I will send a card and a gift.

Thanks for you support! welcome to Mylot again, happy posting!

thank you very much i am sure your sister will appreciate it i know u think he is a scum(u r right) but she doesnt i am happy u can be the bigger person

If you go back and read One reply on 1 pg, #1. it will tell the story, and you will see why?

I do want to see my Sister happy. But not with him. I'll send a card and present. I will even call her up. when my sister came here from out of town to visit the family last year I didn't even go over to my other sisters house.

so I'm guessing it's more personal between you and him is probably why you can't stand to see her with him.

Thank you Nick!

It's just that I am so mad at him, but shouldn't take it out on her. she excepts him and I can't change that. I will!

I know it doesn't make since, I have did a lot of thinking, and from everyone telling me it is the right thing to do, I know it is the right thing to do, this has been going on for 20 yrs, it is time to make some changes with my sister and get closer, life is too short.

Thanks for your support, right it isn't her fault, but how can she be that naieve, what people will do for Love. I going to sent it. I have made up my mind.

Yes Rae, this is really deep, but you're right, I will send the card. I should let her Husband come between us, no matter want, like they say blood is thicker that water!

Thanks Terri, I appreciate your support, I will send her a card.

Thanks for replying I will do that! welcome to Mylot.

Ok, Everyone talked me into it, No not really I was thinking about it really hard and wrote it, I am going to send her a card, I have been feeling like this way so long it is time too, get closer with my sister. And I know this in my heart. Lofe is too short. thanks for your support.

I know she will be happy. I will.

I know Heather you are right! I will send her a card.

Maybe she is, but I don't think that about my Brother-in-law. You are right it is the right thing to do, thanks for your support. I have really been thinking about this hard, that is why I wrote this. I will send her a card and sent her a present.

Thanks for your support Rozie, you are right, I might as well except him but I never will, I still love my sister though. I'm going to sent it.

That's nice, from this day forfard I will make a effort to call her up or send her a card.

If you read what I told #1 that is why I feel like that. Talking to her won't do any good it won't change anything.