fixed marriage

I agree with you on this one. I don't think anyone should be forced to marry someone. I know it is still done in other countries, but not as much as it used to. Also most of the people that are in fixed marriages agree with it because it is their cusom. But when they don't agree they shouldn't be forced into it. I think a lot of these marriages work though. They fall in love with each other, or not, while they are married and get to know each other.

Hi glitzypurple! I guess you are talking about arranged marriage. Both arranged and love marriages have it's own pros and cons. There is no guarantees for success in marriage whether it is love or arranged.Like you even I would like to know my partner well before marriage.

I would be totally against it also! In the last 100 yrs my culture has not exercised fixed marriages!

I have read about these practices and find out that majority of these marriages work but then look at how often choosing your own partner leads to divorce. As one poster said we are not in a position to point fingers based on the percentage of divordce occurring now

I think there's much to be said for arranged marriages. From what I've heard, both parties get to veto an arrangement - they meet potential suitors and agree to marry only when they find one acceptable. The experience of the families in finding a good match, based on family and cultural backgrounds, is such that when a match is made, the couple start on a solid footing of compatibility. Which is more than can be said of many non-arranged marriages. Often real love comes from the shared experience of building a life together, as compared to the infatuation which people often mistake for love. And though you may not know the person too well, in some ways you can rely on the match makers to have done due diligence as far as character. I wonder how many people really know and understand the person they marry. Many marriages seem to fail after a very short period of time. However, it's a cultural issue, and of course an arranged marriage would be an horrendous imposition for many.

Fixed marriage,im thinking of 50-50 decision. you know why it has advantage and disadvantage.. the advantage is that because of the culture. and the disadvantage is you are marrying someone and spending your whole life with someone that you really loved.. eventually love can be easily learned..:-(

I disagree with fixed marriages too. It is not right for one's family to pick who their daughter will marry.What if that person turned out to be abusive to her? For some nations this is just a way of life and tradition. I sure eventually it will change.

Fixing marriages? What do you mean by "fixed marriages"? I tell you beforehand, either read my response entirely and slowly OR don't read at all. Just a partial read will only fuddle you furthermore. Thanks in advance, if you do listen to me. I think you are referring to arranged marriages, right? There's a lot of difference between the term "fixed marriage" and the term "arranged marriage". In arranged marriages, usually the girl and the guy choose their life partner under the mediatorship and guidance of their parents. Arranged marriages, in a civilised society, enter into the equation in the case when a girl or a guy is unable to find a suitable partner for him/herself. In such a situation, the parents being the caretakers and creators of their child, take the responsibility of finding a bride or groom for their son/daughter. As you say, they do not "fix" the marriage, they will arrange for the meeting of the two first, if it is okayed, then there will be an engagement prior to the wedding. In this period of engagement, which may last for 3 months or 6 months or even 1 year in some cases, the bride and the bridegroom spend time together and get to understand each other very well. Once they are assured that they can be good life partners, then only would they sign up for marriage. This "period of engagement", you can equate it to the live-in relationship before the marriage in the west. The only difference here is they are not allowed to have PMS, which goes against the Indian law. It is because virginity before the marriage depicts purity and is considered to be something sacred here in India. Like how the couple in live-in relationships can break up anytime before the marriages in west, here also the couple can separate anytime during the "period of engagement" provided they owe an explanation that is justified. In case you have a notion that "Arranged marriage" is all about what its literal meaning suggests, then please do change your paradigm and learn radically about the system of arranged marriages. When you have learnt a great deal of it, you yourself will find it to be logical and acceptable. You know, arranged marriage system is one of the chief reasons why this institution of marriage is such a super hit in India. Speaking as a matter of fact( and intending no offense to anyone), the divorce rates here are as low as 1% where as in an advanced country such as e.g. USA, it is as high as 50%, which means every second marriage ends up in a divorce there, which is of course really unfortunate and saddening. Thank you, have a sweet and successful new year 2008.=)

Well well well its all u r talking about girls point of Veiw what if u dont have any love or lover then what are ur comments about Arranged Marriage( i will use word arrange marriage rather fixed as two families are involved in process and lot of time) And all i want to say that my marriage was arranged one and so far its going well, (wink wink) Take care

Hi glitzypurple, In my opinion fixed marragies are the real marriage.Understanding each other is more systematic only in fixed and arranged marriages. From the marriage day both will start to know each other. Here the love starts and build itself very strongly. Then the children will cement it more strongly. Even in love marriages the same thing happens.They will see each other and start undestanding each other and then get married. Only one problem in love marriage is,that the charm of the person cannot be enjoyed after marriage, because they would have seen each other several times and there will be nothing for them to talk freshly. Good Luck.

I really dont know whether to support or oppose, am 50 - 50 on this issue, because even the marriages which are not arranged also break. It depends on the two people involved here and how much they compromise. You might date someone for as much as 4 years before marrying him and all those years he/she might be pretending to someone they are not, after honeymoon hell breaks loose and you start to see a different character. Also there is a good side of arranged marriage because both parties enter this marriage without much expectations from one another and a preparedness to cope with each other no matter what they are. Also the people who fix the two of you are people who know you from both sides.

Fixed marriages are really unfair. Nobody should get married to make other people happy, they should be happy with their partner.

today,there a lot of ways when two people get married ,marriage is like a gumble,even if you really love each other before you get married,their is a possibility that your relationship wont work well,fixed marriage,arrange marriage is also the same, but for me before you get married better try to know each other first.

you are the wrong person need forever forever the invariable love

I don't agree with the practice either, but right now only about half the marriages work. Many people who stay married aren't happy with them. With a track record like that, we really don't have much room to point fingers. ;~D