To rewrite or not that is the question?

I apologize for any delay LouRhi. I actually like this piece of work. The one thing I noted was a lack of citation. You had Reader's Digest for the first part, but most other claims could need citation or support from citation. I'm not saying you are wrong in the claims though, they are sound and valid. Parents need involvement in their children's education and the sooner it begins the better the chance a child will have with education. Providing a variety of books AND activities is also a part of education, so a child can bring out the talent from within and learn from the activities they have penchants for. Your form is chronological and easy to discern in my opinion. You start at early childhood (which is crucial for development of children). Then you continue with school itself and various issues children could use parental involvement (classes, homework, subjects, extracirricular). Also Rhi, you could maybe add in the negative side of your topic. For example, what happens to children without the parental action. Depending on the overall tone you want to take you might want to avoid this, but I think there is merit in having your claims and then displaying what has happened to those without parental interaction. I like the final parts of your writing, considerably. You could cite how people (in specific countries) have a mindset that the school is supposed to do everything when it comes to their child, or at least something along those lines. You could also cite the quality of schools themselves maybe as an impetus for parents to get involved with their children's education. They could be poor schools and parents may need to teach things on the side, or perhaps opt for another school. They could be excellent schools but not teaching things to standard, or worse trying to pass off opinion as real teaching (its not). This is very important since in both instances your child could end up bored with school, or they could lack crucial skills as teens and young adults (critical thinking, hypothesizing, research, observation). Instead some kids could end up learning very little or simply believing anything a proper authority says (Well teacher said it, it must be true. Well the news said it, it must be true. Well the government said it, it must be true).

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