Will you let your husband work Abroad?
By ireneortiz
@ireneortiz (272)
Philippines
January 15, 2008 3:47am CST
Hiall! I am married for almost 4 years and my income and my husbands income is just enough for our daily expenses, I have a 3 year old daughter and she still drinking milk so thats another expenses. I dont know if its right that I am forcing my husband to work abroad because I always tell him that he can earn more in there rather than just being a motorcycle driver here in our country and besides he is just a high school graduate. So for me i can see a better opportunity for him if he will work abroad and he can give our family a better future. I dont know if my husband is just joking when he tells me that ok ok he will go so that he can avoid my nagging. but for me its the interest of my daughter future im concern with.
Tell me if i am wrong or is there a better solution to my problem?
2 people like this
9 responses
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
15 Jan 08
I think it would be better for your family if you all lived together. Can he use his work experience abroad to get a better job at home? Can he finish school and come home and get a job?
For me personally, my fiance and I are moving overseas for his job next year. It's the best thing for him and will advance his career much better than anything he can do here.
1 person likes this
@ireneortiz (272)
• Philippines
16 Jan 08
When I was single I also have same thinking as you have, but when I already raised a family everything changes because I now need to think of my familys future not just for myself specially that I have a daughter. We are in a third world country and jobs here is not high paying jobs , he cant afford to study because we both lack money. The way i see it, if we will not be doing sacrifices , we will not have better life. I have dreams for my daughter i dont want her to suffer hardship in life, so as parents i think it is our responsibility to provide for her even if it cause not living together temporarily. I believe this is only temporary because once we have established our finances and have savings we can now live happily together.
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
16 Jan 08
First of all, I am not single and I resent your accusation that I don't know what I'm talking about.
However, if things are so bad in your country, what is stopping you from immigrating?
1 person likes this
@ireneortiz (272)
• Philippines
16 Jan 08
well i dont mean that you dont know what you're talking about. I am talking about my own point of view and experience. And immigrating is not an easy thing to do , there's a lot of requirements and not all people are eligible to migrate into another country.
@jumpinjack00 (3054)
• United States
16 Jan 08
Hi ireneortiz. As a man I will tell you that he
also wants the best for you and his daughter. I
understand why you want him to work abroad. I
don't think he's upset that you want him to. I
think he knows in his heart how hard it will be
for him to be away from you and his daughter.
It's also a scary idea thinking about going to a
strange country to work but I believe he will do
it because of his love for his family. I know he
also has dreams for a better life for you all.
As long as he has his legal papers in order there
is no reason why he should not work abroad. I don't
know where you two are considering but I know here
in the U.S. he will make 10 times the amount of
money in dollars for a week than he could ever make
in pesos in a month there.
I wish you both the best of luck. The best thing
he could do for you all is get a better education
but I know that is not possible for now. You may
want to consider studying to become a nurse then
your options and income will really increase.
‹(°¿°)›
@ireneortiz (272)
• Philippines
16 Jan 08
Hi jack, yes i know that he also wants the best for us, he's willing to work actually its in Saudi Arabia where he will work and then me, I am reviewing now for a CPA (Certified Public Accountant) Board Exam now and im planning to take the board on May 2008, I decided to take this exam again because i know that when i pass this there will be more better job opportunity that will come to me and in high salary so now i am working monday to friday and i am attending school saturday and sunday 8 am to 8 pm , so me also doesnt really have time for my family but i need to sacrifice so i can get a high paying job once i pass.
@jumpinjack00 (3054)
• United States
16 Jan 08
It all sounds great my myLotian friend. lol
You're right. Sacrifices need to be made in
order to improve our lives and those dearest
to us.
It appears that your family will be doing well
in the not too distant future. I have a friend
who worked in Saudi Arabia for 3 years. This was
about 8 years ago. He did very well as a computer
programmer. I'm sure you will do well also.
‹(°¿°)›
@ireneortiz (272)
• Philippines
16 Jan 08
Hahaha I like that " mylotian friend" sounds nice, well i hope what you say will happen. goodluck to both of us! By the way, where you from? what country?
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
16 Jan 08
No I would not let my husband work abroad for anything. Our only child is 8 now and with his educations expenses and our savings for old age, we both earn just enough to scrape us through. On top of that, both of us have been out of jobs twice or thrice before and have pulled at our savings to see us through, so our financial condition has further dwindled. The situation is such that we cant even take a weekend vacation (haven’t taken one in last 3yrs). But even then, I would prefer my husband to be staying with us. I want my son to know his Dad firsthand while he is growing up. I don’t want his father’s presence to be compensated with toys, gifts and chocolates.
Now regarding your husband, if he is just a high school graduate, what opportunities he will have abroad? Maybe the pay will be better but so will the expenses be. The more advanced a city is, the more job opportunities it has, the more expensive it is. So at the end of it, maybe you will see that you are actually being able to save a little more than what you can now and for so much trouble!
@cherriemae (3370)
• Philippines
15 Jan 08
for me irene, in your case your husband really have to have a good work for you family..the opportunity abroad is very huge..and there are lots of people working abroad because of poverty..you have to face the reality that money is one of the important thing in this world..if i'm in your case, i will let my husband work abroad, and if he will not eager to do that..i will do it for my family..need to be practical this time..
@ireneortiz (272)
• Philippines
16 Jan 08
I totally agree with you. I am explaining to my husband that we really need to be practical at this time. some people might say that we should not be materialistic but nowadays if you dont have money you will die of poverty. I know that family bonding is good but what will happen if you stay together with empty stomach, i dont want to see my daughter to be malnourish or something. If here in our country theres no opportunity then i really see working abroad a good chance to earn more.
thank you.
@xianxian54 (146)
• China
16 Jan 08
I cannot understand you well, for sure your daughter's future is very important, but how about your husband, are you sure your marriage is based on love. Meanwhile I think your decision is unfair to your husband, why not choose to face the problem together, do you think if he goes aboard, that he will or he can earn more money? time and environment can change a lot of things. So please think carefully before you push your husband away.
@ireneortiz (272)
• Philippines
16 Jan 08
Hi thank you for your reply, ofcourse our marriage is based on love, actually both us will be doing sacrifices, he will work abroad and I will continue to work now i am a working student because i want to get a license so i can earn more. Definitely he wil earn more , here he's just earning P 6,000.00 but if he work abroad he's salary will be P 16,000.00. We love each other and he understand why i need to send him away and we both promise to give our daughter a better future.
@SixPaulEleven (552)
• United States
17 Jan 08
Why can't you go with him? If life is so bad there, save up your m oney and go.
Or let him go and him send money back so you and your DD can go. Sounds like you don't like it there.
There are opportunities abroad for people with just a high school education. My sister is a glorified receptionist making $16 an hour for a high powered executive of a large company.
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
16 Jan 08
I don't think it is right to force your husband into doing something that he is not prepared to do... working abroad is not an easy task... i have done it... the money is good but there are other aspects that a person needs to fight in order to survive... i have seen others who were only forced to go overseas to work and in the long run... they ended up with nothing...
There are certain people who are not built to work abroad and be away from their family for a long period of time...so in your case... if you are more attune to it... why not try it yourself... with your determination... i think you are more likely to succeed in working abroad than your husband...
@nothingbetter2do (235)
• Australia
16 Jan 08
I think it's better for your relationship if you all live together. But then, it this is just for the short term (e.g. a few months) then it will be ok.
@online001 (4)
• China
16 Jan 08
i won't let my husband work abroad if i were you, i believe the life of working abroad alone is lonely and a lot of pressure, i believe you can work together and try to do some business to make money
