Are Friendship Trophies To Show Off Online?
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
January 21, 2008 5:05am CST
This is really bothering me, so sorry guys I've got to have a Monday rant!
Yes it does concern Yuwie again but this time it's about adding friends.
What I have noticed and it kind of follows on again from my 'Don't you hate being ignored' discussion is when people ask for your friendship
You accept it, and then that's it you don't hear from them again! Not a single thing
WHY, Why then ask someone to be a friend then totally ignore them?
What is the point of this? Do people collect friends like trophies to show off on their profile page such as Yuwie?
After Christmas I had a big Purge I deleted those who had wanted to be my friend but had never even rated me or checked out my profile or left a message!
Then I get about half a dozen of the same said people who want to be my friend AGAIN!
So I stupidly accept and guess what?
They ignore me AGAIN!
So what is the answer, what do you do with these people
Do you delete the friendship if they don't bother to respond to you after you've accepted their friendship
Once you have deleted them do you then block them?
Do you know why people add you as friends and then forget about you?
6 people like this
13 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 08
Sweetie there are a lot on there that think the more Friends they have they will get the traffic and it is wrong as they will not
I won't block them but I delete them and as my Memory is quite good if they ask again I reject
As you know someone has just deleted me because I am not able to be as active because of my Health and now a Friend of hers has deleted me to because he is either her Husband or a very good friend of hers and they have blocked me
Well I was upset at first Sweet but now as far as I am concerned they are not Friends all she cared about was me visiting her Page well I am not able to do that at the moment every Day
Also check out their Page and see how many Friends they have that is how I do it now and I have rejected a lot
One Guy I have blocked as he requested me as a Friend I accepted and then he came onto me so he is blocked
I am in the Process of deleting a few that have never been to me so it is a waste of time
Hugs Sweetie xxxx
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 08
A fellow wolf eh? He can be in my cub pack for sure. Oh thank you dear friend for that lovely cat pic with the ten pence, I took the liberty of looking up the site and there were tonnes of pages of funny cat pics, I was in hysterics, so a big big hug for making me laugh xxxx Love to my bessie mate Gissi x
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 08
Their loss, what they don't realize is that they don't think why you are not around or cannot respond to them, they automatically assume, so basically they are NOT worth knowing. They have missed out big time on losing you as a friend! That reminds me I had this young girl who kept pestering me to add her as a friend, everytime I rejected her because she was a bit forward! I think I declined her friendship 3 times, I knew what she wanted, and I do state which way I swing but that still doesn't stop some people it seems! She even gave me her email and I'm like look I've said NO three times please get the point! Persistant or what! I have some very special friends on there and I would rather have those just to socialize and have a laugh and share good times and love with, I don't see it as a money making site xxxx
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 08
If she carries on being a Pain accept her block her delete her and she will not be able to get to you no more
I love it there to and the Friends I have specially one Wolfie there you might know him and Gissi loves him to bits, Wolfie is his Hero, so if you come across him I highly recommend him he is a very good Friend xxxxx
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
21 Jan 08
Yeah, Wolfie, I saw a discussion yesterday, I think, asking how many pages of friends do you have. Yuck! Personally, I don't need any stinkin' trophies! And yes, people have asked to be my friend and then I never heard from them again. Maybe they think they make money by getting friends. I don't have any idea. Don't care either. So screw 'em! There are people here, obviously, by the responses I see here, that do care and actually have something worthwhile to say. Thank god for that.
Love.
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
21 Jan 08
Yup, right again, Wolfie. Aren't you glad that there are some of us who still see people as things of real value, instead of dollar bills? I know I am. Love.
@Darkwing (21583)
•
21 Jan 08
This happens quite a lot on different sites, my friend. I think sometimes that new members think that it's a competition to see who can add the most friends. I've had people on Mylot with 0 points, obviously new members who have no idea who I am, or what my discussions are about, requesting to be my friend. Sometimes I accept, other times I don't, and it doesn't really worry me if they ignore me, because I have my firm basis of friends who keep coming back to see how I'm doing. The others won't get me to their discussions if they don't come to mine.
Brightest Blessings... and rant all you want, my friend. We all need it from time to time. I have no idea where I am on Yuwie anyway, so that's a no-no! ha ha.
@Darkwing (21583)
•
21 Jan 08
I don't think I mentioned money anywhere, but if we were in it for the money, I don't think we'd belong to ANY of these sites, Wolfie. lol. I'm here for the social side too... I've made some very good friends in here, and I find the company excellent. A lot went to Yuwie, but they know I don't like the site and it's nothing personal if I don't go in there often. Then, they will pop by here to see me, if they feel the need, and I'm very pleased to see them.
Naturally, there is a balance, as with everything. Not everybody is our cup of tea, nor are they looking to make friends. What I'm trying to point out is that you get a mix... some who request to be your friends will be very sincere, and loyal to you, but others seem to feel that it puts them in good light to have a lot of friends. I accept some of these purely and simply because it gives me more scope in my writing, but I can't say that I don't have many good, loyal friends on here, because I have a number of them. These are the ones I concentrate on, and support. The others really don't matter a bean, do they?
Brightest Blessings.
@mummymo (23706)
•
21 Jan 08
Yep so true sweety it is really annoying when people do that but I guess it is better than those that collect friends just so they can spam you! I very rarely delete antone as a friend unless they spam me and then I do, even when I had a problem ages back with a certain member here on mylot who was rude and abusive then started discussions about me I didn't delete him - a very wise person told me that even if I didn't respond having him on my friends list meant I could keep an eye on him a lot easier! Luckily for me this guy is long gone now though! xxx
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
21 Jan 08
I suspect, wolfie, that a majority of those friends requests are made by people wanting to get a foot in the door. I think they really have no intention of actually becoming a friend. I remember when I first began here on myLot; I was very timid about submitting a request to anyone for friendship. Being a woman of a certain age, I knew by going through all of the profiles that I could, that there was a shortage of members who were directly in my age group. That didn't matter to me because I have never had a problem relating to people of all ages. I was rewarded by being added to many member's friends lists. Some remain friends, others, I have not heard from since those early days. It works the same way with friends that have asked to be added to my list. Since there are so many of us here it is difficult to get around to each one on your friends list all the time, but I do try and visit their profile pages and leave a comment now and then-just to let them know that I remember them.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
21 Jan 08
Yes, I do go through my list occasionally and delete those who have not made an appearance here for months. I figure they are not serious if they don't show up for such long periods of time. I also have had friends requests that I found have never posted a discussion, and I will delete them.
@vicki2876 (5636)
• Canada
21 Jan 08
I couldn't forget you my friend even if I tried ;P
Seriously, I am not on Yuwie but I have people who are my friends here that never bother with me at all. I try to response to as many friends discussions on here when I can but out of my over 200 friends I don't get many who respond to mine. I would say though I have a good 20 or so active friends here which is nice. But I think the reason people want me on their friends list is so that I would respond to their stuff and they earn more money. Maybe Yuwie is like that in a way too. Maybe they put you on their list so you go look at their profiles earning them but not doing anything for you in return? I don't know.
I many am here for the friendships so every now and then I do lighten my friends list and not respond to ones that seem to be totally self motivated to the point I don't think they ever care what discussions they make.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
21 Jan 08
Hi wolfie before my account was paused I had so many friends and alot of them didnt respond to my discussions too. I dont even know it they were active. It bothered me alittle and I did deleate some of them. So after I came back I started all over with all new friends and I still kept my good friends they fought for me here at mylot. Now I dont have as many as did but thats okay. I would deleate them and and just forget about them. You wont have a problem finding new friends because your a good person. Hugs!
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 08
I always say my friend that when you are having a crisis or major upset in your life then you sure know who your friends are! When they need support they are around you like honey soon as you ask for help you don't see them for gold dust! The ones left are true friends, and true friends will back you, support you 24/7 xxx
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
22 Jan 08
I get a lot of these people who are from the Philippines or from India, I have a few that do respond and do post new posts, but many of them do not and I have had to delete them. Also if I feel that they are going to flame me or have their agreerers give me negative marks because I do not agree with them, then they are gone as well.
@jynxypanda (394)
• Philippines
21 Jan 08
Haha that's the Yuwie world for you! I also joined Yuwie and mindless accept friend requests. I think people join Yuwie not to make friends (Those who say either really want to make friends or just bluffing) because they want to make MONEY. Money is the only driving force that people have in there because come on, how can you keep track of thousands of friends? After 2 weeks, Yuwie exhausted me to the point I didn't want to go back. And now you can see I'm back in mylot, my friend. But maybe I'll go check my Yuwie later because all these posts about Yuwie reminded me of my stagnant account now. So don't be offended friend, people on Yuwie just do it for the money.
1 person likes this
@LauraElrod (418)
• United States
21 Jan 08
i know what you mean i have asked people to be my friend and post to them and get nothing but spam from them. today on yuwie someone said your picture looks like your nice can you be my friend . then i got 3 spam letters telling me how i can do good on yuwie and how to make money there. i wanted to be a friend first. sure share with me but at least tell me your name first . by the way i am Laura wolfie:) mother of 3 living in Memphis Tennessee oh yes and a grandmother wooohoo
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 08
If anyone spams me they are deleted and blocked, I would never spam and I don't expect it from others, I know that sounds harsh but I get enough spam in my email account without 'supposively new friends' popping out of the blue and spamming me! Pleased to meet you Laura. As you know I'm happily single living in the grand old United Kingdom about 15 miles/28 kms from London!
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
21 Jan 08
I know exactly what you mean here (and in the discussion yesterday).
I feel that real friends on or off line know in a sort of sixth sense way whether thay are being ignored or 'used'.
I can 'feel' who my real friends are and, in your csae, I feel you are definately a real one and therefore when I am not able to answer your discussions, I'm sure you realise I'm held up elsewhere and I'll get back as soon as I can.
On here over the months I have gathered a lot of friends on my list but the real ones are only a bunch and they know who they are without me saying anything at all. As for the rest - they are just numbers and I don't give it a second thought.
As in real life 'friends' are few between and the others I consider 'acquantances' rather than friends.
So rest assured that I read you, love reading you and am up to date with what your up to MY FRIEND even though I don't always get round to answering you. Hugs!.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 08
I don't expect my friends to answer all my discussions, that wouldn't be feasibly possible but as you rightly say, friends know you think of them goes without saying, and you know that if you need help, advice etc you can call on them and they'll help you out as best as they can. I owe you a lot for putting me in touch with our friend Will but regardless of that, I see you as a friend anyhow, goes without saying ;0) hugs returned!
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
29 Jan 08
Well I think the only reason someone asks me to be their friend is to get me to respond to their discussions. This is what mylot is about, making money, then friendship comes second. So when someone asks me and I accept I am also hoping they will respond to mine. I only accept the friends that start interesting discussions that I can respond to. So I check out their profile before I accept or deny. In this, I am hoping that other members here are doing the same thing and they check out my profile before they request or accept my request, to make sure I am starting discussions that interest them, too.
So If I see that one of my friends isn't responding to any of my discussions than I delete them. I do give them a month or so to respond to at least one discussion, as I don't start vey many, before I will delete them. Or if I send them a PM and they don't respond back within a month I delete them also. I give a month because I understand that sometimes we haven't the time to mylot. I have and probably will continue to, not post in mylot for a few days at a time and then it takes me a week to catch up to my firends discussions.
@mrsjbelle (1640)
• United States
22 Jan 08
If I forget you dear just smack me around a few times:) ♥
@mrsjbelle (1640)
• United States
22 Jan 08
Btw, I did this the other night on Myspace. Big time delete. Why bother ya know? On here I dont know the people as much so I'll add anyone I dont care. A few people have shone thru though as awesome people/friends though.
