My dad just sent me an e-mail with a link...
By miamilady
@miamilady (4910)
United States
January 27, 2008 9:46am CST
(the link is at the end of this message)
Some of you know a bit about my mother and that she was in the hospital. After 17 days in a coma, she did pass away. It was January 15th at 10:18 pm.
I was with her. My father, brother and one of my sister's was also there. My oldest sister, her husband and her some came to the hospital shortly after she passed.
It has been a long ordeal, that words cannot express.
I do believe she is at peace now.
Through all of the difficult times, my siblings and I have found stregth from eachother.
As my sister say's "Mom would be proud".
I now have a deeper appreciation for the gift of life and a better understand of how fragile that gift is.
This isn't to say that I haven't always appreciated life and the gifts that it has given me. I have never lost a loved one so close to me before.
I always suspected that I could accept death, but I have never been put to the test before.
Now, I have been put to the test more than I could ever have imagined.
I miss my mom deeply. I will cry for her, for a long tiem to come. In truth, I am not crying for her as much as I am crying for myself and my family. We are the ones left behind to miss her.
I cry because I miss her and because I loved her and it is hard to go on without her.
She did not want us to cry. She told me so. She was a mom and mom's are selfless. They don't want their children to suffer. But, some suffering can't be avoided.
I know that she understands that now.
We (my siblings and I) have respected all of her wishes to the best of our ability, but we did a few things slightly differently than she said she wanted.
We did cry. How can we not cry? We had a memorial service for her. She really didn't want us to have one, but how could we let her pass without memorializing her in some way? We couldn't.
She did not want the traditional open casket and burial. She made it clear to us many times that she wanted to be cremated. We, of course honored that wish.
But, we did have a memorial service. We had to honor her life and we had to allow those, who's lives she affected (more than we realized) to also, honor her life.
Her memorial service was yesterday.
My father send me and my brother and two sisters an e-mail today. He sent a personal message and he also attached a link. I wanted to pass that link along to all of you.
http://parentswish.com/site01/big.html
13 people like this
28 responses
@nokia6233 (937)
• India
27 Jan 08
I had read your previous post and prayed for your family and i will do so now too....
I almost cried when i read your post and saw the link...i now realize my parents are the greatest gift that i could ever have...
May God strengthen your family in this situation....Your mom will be proud and one day she will tell that when you meet in heaven...
2 people like this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
27 Jan 08
Thank you for your prayers. I know that not everyone is blessed with wonderful parents, but fortunately I had great parents. Of course every person has flaws, but one think I know is that my parents did their best and wanted good things for us. My dad is still with me and will struggle with the loss of my mom, but I think all of his children have shown him, in the past month, just how important my mom was to us and how important he still is to us.
Unfortnately, we can't be in 15 places at one time. We all have other responsiblities, but I do urge to to make time for your parents whenever you can.
I will always wish I had more time with my mom, but the truth is, there never is enough time. We will always want more.
Take care
3 people like this
@nokia6233 (937)
• India
27 Jan 08
thanks for your kind and caring words....will do so from now..
Everything is for good and hope you overcome this moment vey soon..
2 people like this
@cynddvs (2948)
• United States
27 Jan 08
I'm so sorry for what you and your family have just gone through. I couldn't imagine the sadness you are feeling right now. I loved the link you posted. Since I have a 2 year old a lot of that really hit home with me. I am teaching her so much and holding her hand through everything. I know that one day when I'm old she'll be holding my hand and helping me with simple tasks as well.
2 people like this
@sneezeklenex (344)
• United States
28 Jan 08
She passed away on my wedding anniversary! My heart goes out to you and your family in your time of need. I applaud you for being as strong as you have because I don't know what I will do in the same situation. Just remember the good times you two had and share them with your children and grandchildren so that she will never be forgotten. She isn't and never will be forgotten as it sounds like she left an impression in a lot of people's hearts. She'll always be around to see her grandchildren grow and help you any way she can, believe me. God bless you and your loved ones! I hope I have been somewhat of some comfort to you. I will pray for God to help you deal with her passing.
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
29 Jan 08
My parent's wedding anniversay was January 18th. 3 days after my mom passed away. That added to the difficulty of dealing with it. Thank you for your kind words and thoughts.
1 person likes this
@gandatwo (602)
• Australia
28 Jan 08
So sorry for your Loss Miamilady...do take the very necessary time to grive,hold on to the Precious Memories,I feel in this way you will be honouring your Mothers wishes.
And thank-you for sharing the link with all.
May you be blessed with strength to help you through this time of loss.
God Grant me the strength of Eagles wings,the Faith and the courage to soar to new hights,and the wisdom to trust you to carry me there.
@missapolis (5)
• United States
28 Jan 08
I understand how you feel. my mother passed in 1999, just know that time heals all pain, and it gets better as time pass, there will always be memories. God bless you and your family.
1 person likes this
@sharon613 (2321)
• United States
28 Jan 08
Wow; Thanks so much for this link. Yesterday along with my parents and a few other relatives; I went to visit my 88 year old Aunt in the Assistant Living. We caught her on one of her bad days. She was really down and out and didn't want to see any of us. She told my dad she wants to die already. I also have an Uncle who is turning 93 and has Dimentia for the past five years. Its very sad to see close ones slowly deteriorating. Change of subject. My rebellious soon to be 19 year old one and only daughter; for the first time just made me and my husband Grandparents. She became an unwedded mom and has a beautiful baby girl born on Christmas night. The baby still gets up in the middle of the night and will be doing so for the next month or two. If my daughter don't get up and I happen to be up I let her get some shut eye and take over. Little things in life we should always stop and think no matter how hectic things get; to thank G-d we have what we have and cherish the moments!
1 person likes this
@Ohara_1983 (4117)
• Kuwait
29 Jan 08
first my condolence to you, we know it not easy to lost love one but what we will do if they supper more pain than stay, i rather choice that to leave & rest and peace to i will not let my loveones worry all the time at me. anyway thanks for sharing, you got a wonderful dad.
@sweetgirl_k1 (3972)
• United States
28 Jan 08
I know it has to be hard to lose a parent. I still have both of mine and I can't imagine life without them. I don't even want to think about that. I have almost lost both of them before though. My dad drives a tractor trailer and he has had two wrecks...neither one his fault...he was just the passenger and someone else was driving. The first wreck you couldn't even tell what kind a truck it was because it was so smashed up and he broke lots of bones and was black and blue all over. I remember they wouldn't let me see him...that was back in 1987. Then his other wreck was in the 90's but I can't remember exactly which year it was. His neck was broken in that wreck...he was in another state and they had to send him to their hospital so my husband (he was my boyfriend at the time) took me up there to stay with my dad. It was so sad because I had to feed him and everything. He had to wear one of those halo's for his neck to heal. He's better now thankfully. And my mom suffered a massive heart attack I think it was in 2000. She was in a coma for 13 days and they didn't expect her to make it. When she came out of the coma they put her on the heart transplant list. Luckily, they found out they could just do a double bypass and not have to do the transplant. She is better now too. So I am very thankful to have both my parents and they mean the world to me.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
29 Jan 08
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. If there is anything I can do or if you need to talk, just send me a private message.
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Thank you so much for sharing that with us, especially at this time of grief for you and your family. I'm so sorry to learn of your mother's passing, Hon, and I do understand how hard it has to be for you. I'm very blessed in that I still have my mom who is 91 now and that link you sent really got to me, you know? I lost my dad in 1981 and I still miss him terribly at times but I'll always have my memories. Those of us who have great parents and great siblings and other relatives sometimes forget how blessed we are. Thanks for this touching reminder! Hugs!
Annie
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
27 Jan 08
First of all, miamilady, I want to sent my sympathies to you and your family, I know how hard it is to loss someone so close. I lost my Mom at 13 and my Dad at 20, so I didn't experience my parents aging like this.
I also saved the link, what a beautiful way to remember that as the elderly people in our lives age, that they need care like they had cared for their young..
Thank you for sharing..:)
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
27 Jan 08
I'm sorry about the passing of you mother and I offer you my deepest and sincerest condolences and if you need to talk you can always message me.
1 person likes this
@roberten (3128)
• United States
27 Jan 08
Thank you, miamilady, for that beautiful reminder. I too have lost my dad, followed by my mom, followed by my sister, followed by my husband, all in the span of seven years. It is nice to remember the good times and the great things our loved ones did for us when we could not do for ourselves. I have posted this link on my blog; I want to share and encourage my readers and site visitors to become aware of the precious gifts they have in their parents. Thank you for sharing your personal moments with us here at mylot, our hearts are with you and your family.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
28 Jan 08
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. When we lost my father 4 years ago (almost exactly) we went through a lot of the same things. I'm sure your mother is looking down on you all with a very proud smile. And just remember, she will never truely be gone, she will always be in your hearts, words and mind.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
28 Jan 08
I am so sorry to hear that you lost your mom. and you guys did what you felt was best, there were things she wanted that were not possible, but the possible ones were done as requested.
I believe we honor out parents by taking their advise and wisdom and using it to become a better person, and after all isn't that what its all about, bottom line I want my children to be better that I was. and they are I am very proud of them. As well I can see my values being passed along to my grandchildren, what better honor could I receive, none that I can think of.
The video was and is beautiful, and I have a few people I am going to pass it on to.
I believe you mom would more than approve of you she would be very happy and proud.
@mummymo (23706)
•
28 Jan 08
sweetheart of course it is normal to cry - you need to move through your grief and you would never be able to do that if you turned all your emotions back into yourself! I know you hurt sweety and I am praying for you that you will find peace and that your hurt will diminish as time goes on. I love the link your dad sent you - it brings things home doesn't it. I have to admit I do tend to cluck around my Grandma and it has made me see things in a different way. xxx
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
28 Jan 08
I am truly sorry to hear of your recent loss of your mother. Hold tight to the memories and she will live on through those memories. My father passed away in August after being hospitalized for about 2 weeks. He was coherent up until the end. It is always hard to watch our parents suffer.
Thanks for sharing the awesome video. One of the older gentleman reminded me of my own grandfather.
Have a good day!
@green4success (80)
• United States
28 Jan 08
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Miamilady. My parents are old and I too am facing their deaths. My Mom has Dimentia and is in a Nursing Home. My Dad is in critical condition in the hospital right now. Both of them have requested in their living wills not to be put on any kind of life support and it is hard to honor their wishes; but I feel the same way and I would want my children to honor my wishes. I am extremely close to my Mom and I know it will be hard to let her go, but God gives us strength to get through those times when we call on Him. I pray that He will strengthen you in this time of sorrow. Remember the good times you had together and keep those memories alive the best way you can.
Donna
www.getcleangetrich.com
@Estina54 (385)
• United States
28 Jan 08
I'm sorry for your loss, but we learn how to appreciate life after having such an experience. We know our life is short and we need to make it better.
