Is it okay to pray for...
By Bev1986
@Bev1986 (1425)
United States
February 5, 2008 10:01am CST
Is it okay to pray for a boyfriend for my daughter?
Let me explain. My 17 year old has never had a boyfriend. She's liked a few boys but they have never liked her back. She has been a bit overweight ever since she was small, and has had some very serious health issues (cancer last year). Anyway, her self esteem in in the garbage.
She has lost about 40 pounds in the past year and has grown into a beautiful young lady! I'm not just being a mom here who thinks her daughter is pretty, she really has changed her looks in the past year and she is gorgeous!
The problem is, she is very shy and quiet. If someone doesn't start a conversation with her, she won't talk to them :( So that makes it hard to talk with boys, when they can be shy too! She has a lot of really good friends and some of them are even boys, but they are just friends.
I've always prayed for my kids every day and night, but lately, I've been adding to my prayer by asking God for a nice boy to like her and ask her out. I think it would help with her self esteem so much if just one boy would take an interest in her! She did go to the Prom last year, but it was with a friend, not someone she liked and he didn't like her. They had a good time, but all her friends went with "boyfriends".
So what do you think? Is it okay to pray for a boyfriend for her?
20 people like this
36 responses
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
5 Feb 08
hhmmm now keeping in mind the fact that i'm NOT Christian I AM however a mother with a shy, quiet, overweight daughter with low self esteem...I would have to say that there is NOTHING WRONG with praying for that sort of thing for your daughter BUT I would just becareful of what exactly you pray for..I wouldnt generalize it ("a boyfriend") but how about praying for her to meet a nice boy or something like that...Just praying for "a boyfriend" for her could end up in disaster..she may get that bf but he could turn out to be a nasty frog ya know..
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
5 Feb 08
LOL see thats perfect "a nice Christian boy"..I dont think theres anything wrong with praying for that at all ;-) and all the best to her..You must be very proud..I know for my girl its very hard trying to get up enough self esteem to work with me on getting her healthy and building her confidence etc ya know....plus she's at that age where her hormones are doing the tango on her (she'll be 13 in May) and she can't tell if she's coming or going half the time...but she's trying..
2 people like this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Not only is it OK to pray for a nice Christian young man for your daughter I think your obligated to do so and to pray for her a Christian husband too. We are to pray for all things concerning our children but to add that God's will be done in all areas because a boyfriend may not be in her best interest. Only God knows
@Springlady (3986)
• United States
7 Feb 08
Hi Bev,
I'm so glad to hear your daughter is healthy again. I had a bought with cancer almost 4 years ago.
Yes, God wants us to pray about everything. He cares about every singel aspect of our life. He has a special plan for your daughter and He knows her needs and desires. Pray for God's perfect will for her. He knows what will truly make her happy.
I pray your daughter has accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior. He loves her so much! He has something very special in store for her.
Yes, pray without ceasing!
God bless you and your daughter!:)
2 people like this
@Bev1986 (1425)
• United States
10 Feb 08
Thank you so much! Yes, she is a Christian and she has some wonderful Christian friends who have been fantastic through all of this.
I know that God has a plan for her and I know I shouldn't be impatient with Him to show His plan (lol!)... it's just hard sometimes...
@elemental69 (1561)
• Ireland
5 Feb 08
Why should it be wrong?? You are only praying for her to be happy... and if praying for a nice boy take an interest in her and ask her out, isnt that the same thing?? :-)
@Esplosivo (34)
• Hungary
5 Feb 08
I don't think this is a problem, you just want good for your child. But, anything happens, try to get out the best of it, and thank it for God. :)
@starangel (414)
• United States
5 Feb 08
The best thing to pray for is God's will for your daughter. Specifications are nice, but it's up to God. And we need to trust that whatever His will is, it's the best for us. You can pray that she has some companionship, just as long as you know that it's not about what we want. It's about what He wants for us. I'm sure you do know that. I've found that being specific about what i want seems a little selfish. Not only that, but leaving it totally up to God is more rewarding than expecting what we want. i hope i'm making sense. God has a plan for your daughter, and as long as she keeps her trust in Him, she'll be alright. Her life sounds like it was a hard, and i'm sure there'll be more to come in this life. Thankfully, our life here is only temporary. The most important relationship for her to have is the one w/ God. That will boost her selfesteem up better than any guy can.
@Ohara_1983 (4117)
• Kuwait
9 Feb 08
It will be ok but still the right time will not come to here, as you said she is only 17 years old, i will tell my sister she is already 25 just know she fine a good man for here. we cannot say the she dont have anyhting, sexy,smart ect. but the time will come for here aged in 25, so dont be bother for here, right time will be there my friend. wish you all the best & for your lovely daughter.
2 people like this
@headhunter525 (3548)
• India
5 Feb 08
I am a Christian, and I would say it's quite ok, and should, even pray for such things. After all God is concerned about each aspect of our life. Let me say this... I feel it would be good if you can take your daughter to a church's youth group nearby and introduce her to them. That way she can interact with the people and make friendship. There she may find a good bloke. Just my comment... Btw, I am not saying there are not good boys outside, and I am not also saying that all boys in a church's youth group are good.
regards,
headhunter525
2 people like this
@Bev1986 (1425)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Thanks... she does belong to our church's youth group, but there are only two boys in it that are her age... and they are both good friends and have girlfriends already... But I agree that the youth group is a great place to meet boys that share her faith.
Thanks!
1 person likes this
@anonymili (3138)
•
5 Feb 08
God is there for all of us, regardless of what religion you are. If you have faith in God and you pray to God, who is to say what you should or should not include or ask for in your prayers? Every parent wants their child to be happy, you are proud of your girl for being strong and losing weight and dealing with cancer and coming out of it well. So she's shy and quiet, many guys out there do actually like girls like that. There is pretty much someone out there for everyone and by God's good grace your daughter will have her happiness soon and if that is in the form of a boyfriend then all good. BUT no need to rush her into having a relationship. She is 17 yes and it would be nice to have a nice guy in her life but she is still young. There is plenty of time for relationships and the headaches that come with them. Let her enjoy her new found beauty and when the time is right Mr Right will be there for her. In the meantime, you don't worry about whether praying for a boy is right or wrong. Do whatever feels right in your heart. x
2 people like this
@Bev1986 (1425)
• United States
5 Feb 08
oh, I know she's still young... but you know how it is when all your friends have, or have had boyfriends and you haven't... and believe me I know all about the heartache that comes with it too! lol!
She's heading to college in the fall and I just worry that her first real boyfriend will be with someone I don't know ;) and she'll find herself in a situation where I can't be right there to help her... silly I know, because she is 17 and will soon be 18, but she's still my little girl...
Thanks for you comment!
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
7 Feb 08
I see nothing wrong in praying for whatever one hopes and desires in life, even if it means praying for a boyfriend for your daughter. I think too, more important, perhaps praying that somehow your daughter will gain a higher sense of self-esteem that will make her feel better inwardly. It may take her awhile to gain this as since you said she's been overweight most of her life and had serious health issues, so it might take her awhile to feel more confident in life
1 person likes this
@Bev1986 (1425)
• United States
7 Feb 08
Thanks... he self esteem has increased since she lost weight. She can now buy clothes at the same stores as her friends, which helps a lot! In the past, they'd go clothes shopping and she was embarrassed that she couldn't even try on the clothes her friends were trying on :(
But now she's in a size that normal stores carry, so she can be like her friends. That helps self esteem a lot!
And the fact that she was accepted into two colleges last month has really helped her self esteem! She thought for sure she'd get rejection letters from both, even though she has great grades and does very, very well in school... all part of that self esteem thing.... but it is starting to be better!
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
8 Feb 08
Well I'm glad to hear her self-esteem is so much better, and wow, you must feel proud too that she got accepted to two colleges...congratulate her for me :)
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
6 Feb 08
I have heard where people have prayed for their children's future spouses, but not for their child to get a boyfriend/girlfriend.. Maybe you ought to look at it that way, pray for your daughters future spouse and just allow your daughter be who she is...
1 person likes this
@Bev1986 (1425)
• United States
7 Feb 08
I guess because she's only 17 and has her whole college before her yet, that's why I haven't been thinking about praying for a spouse yet. However, you are right. I think it would be good if she would meet a really nice, Christian boy who could be with her throughout college and then be there for her as a spouse when she is ready to get married. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
7 Feb 08
Well when I said about praying for future spouses, I meant that these people start praying when their children are little. Because even though it would be many years before they get married, if they are to marry, their future spouse is out there, and praying for them and blessing them is a benefit for your child, because you are blessing their loved one...Did that make sense?
@Linda4ualways (2282)
• United States
5 Feb 08
It is okay to pray for a boyfriend for your daughter. I tell my sweetie all the time the reason why he is in my life is because i prayed for him. one day in my bedroom, i was feeling lonely and so i just stood up and thought about the type of man i wanted and started asking away. Be clear and precise. Don't mumble or stumble. Even if you have to write it down, which i'm pretty sure you don't and just go for it. It can't hurt and as a matter of fact me and my sweetie John are going on 5 years in June so prayer does work. God Bless!
2 people like this
@mrsjoejoe (59)
• United States
6 Feb 08
I'm kinda old fashioned, at 17 a boyfriend shouldn't really be that important unless you're ready to be a grandmother, just give it some time the right person will come along for her.
2 people like this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
6 Feb 08
Maybe they are a nice christian boy that she could meet and maybe go out with. I think it best for her to start out with maybe group dates so that she will feel more comfortable maybe on the date until she gets used to it then she can fly solo, I bet you are so proud of her for her weight loss. I know how being overweight can effect a child and young adult since I have been obese my whole life and it was hard growing up being the outsider not having dates. Atleast she has some great friends and that she got to go to her prom. I didn't get to go to mine. I think it is great to pray for her a young man in her life. I often pray that my brother will find a girl that will like him and go out with him because he is so lonely and left out. I wish her the best of luck and hope she finds a keeper. I can understand your worry about college boys, alot of college boys like to sweet talk girls but only seem to be out for only what they can get from a girl and she'd be like a fish out of water in college with boys and they just might take advantage of that innocence. So I hope she will also be safe...When she finally starts dating you'll possible get a few extra gray hairs out of it, because then you will be worried about the boys..well,good luck.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
7 Feb 08
i think it is okey to pray for that for your daughter..theres no impossible in prayer i guess ..my three daughters have boyfriends also but i still continue to pray not to have them another bfs but hoping that those guys will be good and faithful to them and their respective relationships will run smoothly and if ever not meant to each other my daughters will not be so hurt or whatever on the process..
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
6 Feb 08
I would pray that your daughter meet a nice young man, the kind that would in a few years lead up to marriage. I do believe that righteous prayer does has its effects, and there are many girls or women out there alone and single without the ability to live the single life because no one prayed for them.
There are also women out there who met their belove too late, because the prayers for their happiness comes too late and those who made the wrong choices because no one prayed to give them discretion and wisdom.
So pray for your daughter that she would meet a nice young man who will be her boyfriend and who would make her happy and pray also that she would have wisdom and discretion to know who to avoid.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
6 Feb 08
I think that it is fine as long as you are praying for a respectable Christian and are not willing to settle for just anyone. I think that I would pray that she take a liking to one of the male friends that she already has and that he will like her also. Pick the one that you like the most and pray.
The reason that I say this is that, it is always good to start off as friends first. Then go into other things like dating, when you know each other better. Also make sure that it is something that your daughter wants and is ready for, other wise you are asking for disaster. Also, remember this too, God sends us what we need when we need it. I believe that he will send your daughter someone, justbe patient and wait for his timing.
@Bev1986 (1425)
• United States
6 Feb 08
Oh, it's definitely something that she wants! lol! She's made several comments about how her friends all have, or have had boyfriends... it's just hard watching her feel like she's the only one without a boyfriend! Even though it's not true, there are many other girls who don't have boyfriends, it's just hard.
And believe me, I will definitely pray for a good Christian boy! I agree that friends make the best boyfriends!
@majikat268 (72)
• Philippines
6 Feb 08
I believe it is ok to pray for a boyfriend for your daughter. I understand your predicament, but what I just want to remind you is that it is better that you pray a boyfriend that she DESERVES. Don't rush up things, it will come even in an unexpected moment. Patience is a virtue and also a test of GOD. If you and your daughter can exercise this virtue and overcome the same as a test vis-a-vis your prayer....it would only mean that you and your daughter is prepared to enter the complexity of keeping a relationship as such.
1 person likes this
@Bev1986 (1425)
• United States
6 Feb 08
Thank you, I agree that I want her to have the boyfriend that she deserves... it's just that she has already been tested a lot in the past couple of years with some very serious health issues... I just want her to have some fun with a nice boy who cares for her... instead of feeling like no boy will ever like her because of what she has been through. But I will keep your comments in mind! Thanks!
