Should I go or should I stay?
By ecogal
@ecogal (522)
United States
February 6, 2008 10:32am CST
I need advice. There is this little boy who rides the bus with my daughter. He's a sweet little boy and I like that he's friends with my daughter because he protects her and stuff, but his family is another story. His mom has been arrested for doing drugs and his uncle for dealing them. Anyways he has a birthday party coming up and he's invited us over to his house. I want to go to see him and celebrate his birthday but I'm afraid to go because of his family. I don't want to put my children in a situation that could be bad later on. Does that make sense? If we don't go his feelings will be hurt though. What should I do? My kids are most important but it isn't this kids fault that his family members are complete idiots.
6 people like this
8 responses
@starangel (414)
• United States
6 Feb 08
You're right. It's not the boys' fault that his family is messed up and he shouldn't have to suffer because of it. It sounds like the boy could use some positive influence in his life to maintain that sweetness in him. I would go. I would put my focus on him while at the party. It would be good to show him that he doesn't have to follow in his family's footsteps. he can do better and break the cycle. He probably could use people that he can talk to and trust. It's all what you make of it. Those kind of people are unpredictable, so I don't know what his family will do. It doesn't sound like he's had alot of good memories, so i would help this birthday be one of the few good experiences he's had in life.
Good luck w/ your decision.
@starangel (414)
• United States
6 Feb 08
It depends. There are different kinds of people in the world. That's a good thing to teach kids. Show your kids how to be the better person, even if others don't like them. Unfortunately, that kind of stuff is out there. And it will be there when you can't protect your kids anymore. You could use it as a way to show your kids how to act in those type of situations. Or help them learn how to choose what kind of people they want in their lives. Going to a birthday party doesn't mean that they can go to their house all the time or anything. It just means you're being good people by accepting an invitation. I don't know. It's really up to you and how you're feeling. you could have a talk w/ your kids and prepare them by letting them know that these people are different. It sounds like you're a good parent. A good parent can usually trust their kids to do the right things. Besides, you'll be there to supervise. And it will be a good way to see if what you've taught them has stuck w/ them. That way you'll know you can trust them when you're not around. These are just ideas of how you can handle the situation.
@janqlm (10)
• United States
7 Feb 08
If it was me, I would politely decline the birthday party invitation and instead, invite him to my house at an earlier or later date. You could have cake and ice cream and give him a birthday gift at your house. Instead of spending time with his family, have him spend time with yours. Sounds like this little guy could use your attention and he'd probably be THRILLED with a special and separate little celebration at your house.
@mbcousins (116)
• United States
9 Feb 08
I agree with Strangel Ecogal. You shoul go for all the right reasons. You just may be a positive influence on the entire family. If your child is old enough, you might be able to explain all this to her. Some kids are very smart when it comes to relationships. Good luck.
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
7 Feb 08
im a parent and i will surely hesitate to let my daughter attend to his party..knowing the family background..but im just curious on one thing..have you meet the parents already? are you friends or just an acquaintance??
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
8 Feb 08
Are you invited also? I would say as long as you were there that you really should go, for the little boy's sake. With being there you can keep a close eye on the situation and cut your stay close if it looks at all like there may be trouble. Actually I think I would make it a short stay anyway just to be gone before trouble sets in. A half hour or hour would give the kids time to enjoy and make it over as early as possible. Just make an exhuse you have something else you need to do.
@addanki85 (52)
•
7 Feb 08
hi
every parents have the right to protect their children and you r doing so, every mother or father have to look after their childrens good or bad, but some situations we will face that sometime we go helpless. here u like the boy, as u said his family is not of completly idiots then why dont u go for the party, faults are thye part of every human life that is inevitable. if every parent who are invited for the birthday party thinks like u then no one will go to the party. i think im not elder than u but i hope my words will work for every one.
@chrysz (1602)
• Philippines
7 Feb 08
As you've said, it is not the kid's fault that he belongs to a not so good family so I think, its better that you should attend the kid's party for your daughter's friend's sake.
Do it for the boy, you don't have to befriend his family but never keep your doors closed coz who knows, those things you knew may not be true or if it is true, there is still time for them to change and correct their mistakes.
@lightningd (1039)
• United States
7 Feb 08
I would think that his parents or parent figures would at least have their act cleaned up during the party. I mean, you could tell him ahead of time that you may not be able to stay long, but you wanted to at least stop by to wish him a happy birthday. That will give you an easy out if things are not up to snuff with his parents. It won't make you look like the bad guy, and he will most likely just be happy you came by.
@pheebsy (21)
• Philippines
7 Feb 08
this is what i think..the birthday party might be a good opportunity for you to really know the boy's family, from there you can decide what to do with their friendship (which has nothing to do with the family background of the boy). Just make sure that you do not lack constant reminders for the both of them to keep them off the bad elements around.:)
