Birds of a feather...
By jerritts1mom
@jerritts1mom (816)
United States
February 9, 2008 12:16am CST
You know the old saying "Birds of a feather,flock together"?
Is it one you put any stock in? Do you think you can have a friend yet, not make the same choices he or she makes? Have you ever allowed your friends to influence your decision making? If so, what were the consequences,and did you learn from it? Have you ever used your friend as an excuse to get out of a certain thing you did that you weren't supposed to do ?If so, what was the situation, and did you feel guilty for allowing others to believe that the friend was the master mind? I believe that when you stop putting your priorities first, than it is easy to be swayed by your friends. I think it is all in your values,and what you believe to be right. Your friends don't put guns to your head and make you do anything, if you didn't want to do it, you wouldn't do it...I thin kit is a cop out when people use the excuse that their friends were doing it, so they fealt compelled to as well. It is an easy way to get out of owning up to what you have done.Any one agree? If not, than what are your views?
3 people like this
6 responses
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
9 Feb 08
I am living proof that birds of a feather don't flock together. I don't have a single friend that is like me. I couldn't handle another one of me around and if there were two of us in a group of friends someone would be going to jail before the night was over.
All of my friends are distinctly different from me. One is quiet, shy, reserved and overly cautious about everything. Another thinks it is his job to find the good in people and help bring it to the surface. I am forever telling him he is trying to reinvent the wheel.
And another is just the nicest person you would ever want to meet. She reminds me of that favorite grandma or aunt everyone has who always wanted you to eat when you came for a visit.
I have never used my friends as an excuse for things I have done. It is impossible. But I'm sure they could use me a hundred times over. lol
3 people like this
@jerritts1mom (816)
• United States
9 Feb 08
HA!!
Thank you for your response, I was always "trouble" growing up, my friends didn't even become my friends for a long time after getting to know me because of this. I am obviously more grown up and mature now and I guess you can say a little of all of the three personalities you described in your friends.I never got the whole saying either really.
2 people like this
@loudhummer14 (535)
• Philippines
9 Feb 08
honestly, i never really understood that saying. i don't believe in that one. i have been friends with a person who is my complete opposite for 11 years now. none of our decisions were influenced by the other. sure we asked each other's opinions but we never really do something just because the others says so.
@jerritts1mom (816)
• United States
9 Feb 08
yeah, I value my friends' opinions, but wouldsn't say they make my decisions for me either :)
1 person likes this
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
10 Feb 08
hello there and happy day to ya.. will say that i agree and disagree with the saying..i know that i am friends with people that have the same values in life as me..but not necessarily the same beliefs..because i am very open minded to that..but in my group of friends i am the wild one..my best friend is the quiet one..and my other friends range all in between..i know that when i was younger that i was the instagator..lol..and i take full reponsibility of my actions and my talent of talking people into doing things they would not normally do lol..nothing illegal mind you..well that i can remember..like i said i was a wild one lol lol..
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
10 Feb 08
I don't make the same choices as my friends do. And I never any pressure as I was growing up. I might be swayed a little but I always thought about how I felt before I made decisions and didn't care about others when I took a decision. I'm glad I didn't have to make their choices.
Even today, since I do what I feel is right in my situation, I have taught my son to stand up for what he believes in. Every time he brings some thing like 'My friends are doing it', I ask him to stop and think about what he really feels and act accordingly.
1 person likes this
@smints8985 (1594)
• United States
10 Feb 08
I believe that as the saying goes, it does not totally mean that you are very much alike, basically something in common,may it be beliefs or maybe upbringing which somewhat makes you feel like you have a deeper connection with these people as compared to others.
As for making decisions with regards to what friends are doing themselves, yes I must say that at times it could be very influential to ones decision making process, but as for myself, this does not happen as often, I gather their opinions on a specific matter and try to see things at all angles based on how to see it and then make a decision later on after going through the advices. It helps in the process of making a decision but it is not the main factor of the outcome itself.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
10 Feb 08
great post! No that saying is dumb. I was the shyest, quietest kid growing up and my parents worried needlessly by my choice of friends....that I was weak and easily swayed. They were wrong. Under that quiet exterior was a very strong,stubborn person and altho I did hang out with questionable characters, I never did anything "just to fit in" or under pressure. I had a mind of my own and to be honest my peers did not put much pressure on me to do anything at all. Now I am much older and I have friends of all types....I really don't care if I am judged by who I hang with and trust me...I have been. People that really matter do not judge me by anyone than who they know me to be.
Also for all you parents out there...when my girls have gotten into trouble....it is NOT ok to blame the other kid. I give my girls more credit than that....they do have minds of their own. NEVER Ever do I blame it on being influenced by another person nor do I accept that as an excuse from them. They are responsible for their own actions....simple.
1 person likes this
@jerritts1mom (816)
• United States
17 Feb 08
exactly the way I feel...thank you for your response :)
