Can opposite genders really be just friends?
@phillygirl606 (1112)
United States
February 11, 2008 11:37pm CST
Can a guy or girl really be just friends? Whats your thoughts? Do you have a friend of the opposite gender who is just a friend, someone who you never dated, or never had a physical attraction? I say you can. Alot of my friends say you can't. I ask because my bestfriend is a guy. We have been bestfriends for such a long time. But everyone always says that one day they know we will end up together. There is not attraction there what so ever between either one of us. We just really enjoy eachother's company. And he tends to look out for me like a little sister. He is the person I always go to when I have relationship problems. Everyone keeps saying we should just hurry up and get together already because its gone to happen regardless. I really don't think so, but are we really just delaying the envitable? Are you married or dating and your bestfriend is of the opposite gender? Does it cause problems in your relationships? Because I know it does usually cause problems in relationships for me. When I date someone the guy usually never likes that my bestfriend is a guy.
8 people like this
29 responses
@uiwwitch (892)
• United States
12 Feb 08
I believe that's possible. I've had several guy friends before and none of them ended up with a romantic relationship with me. One of my best friends is a guy and I do hear some comments like yours as well, but that's just ignorance talking.
They've never experienced the same situation so they really don't know how it could be possible. But those like us, who have experienced it firsthand, know for sure that guys and girls can be really "just friends".
That's not to say too that it can't be developed into romance. That is all possible as well. But to say that being friends would always follow that road? Nah!
However, some guys to tend to be insecure about girls having guy friends. Either they really don't know that it's possible, or they have crossed that road before and ended up falling for their friends. Or they're just really selfish!
1 person likes this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
12 Feb 08
the line that gets me is " it's not that I don't trust you hunni, I don;t think him, i know how guys think and he's only looking for one think" that line is what really gets to me. Because it is nothing like that. And its not even like I am sneaky about my bestfriend. When I meet a guy I let them meet him right away.And they will act like they are ok with him but than it will all finally come out. he's just a friend. But its ok when they have other girls as friends, its such a double standard
@Ciniful (1587)
• Canada
12 Feb 08
Absolutely. The people who say otherwise are too brainwashed by societal gender roles. The three friends closest to me are men. One I did date, for two weeks. We decided we were horrible partners, but wonderful friends .. and have been for 8 years now. Another I've been very close friends with for 17 years, since junior high school, and the other, for 10 years. They're more like brothers. There's zero attraction, just a fond affection and closeness .... not the ingredients required for a relationship, but essential for a wonderful friendship.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
12 Feb 08
Of course, you don't need to be attracted to someone just to be friends. You get acquainted in typical situations. At school and friends of other friends. You don't neecessarily need to be attracted to them.
Here's my experience if its plausible for an example.
I now am a member among seven other girls in our thesis study. I'm the only guy in the group. I belong to the batch of two of those girls while the other five belong to a higher batch. We were grouped to finish a study that would be a pioneer in the major that we all study.
I have no attraction to them but, we meet up so often for the study and end up being friends with one another.
@cami_love (87)
• United States
13 Feb 08
I had a boss in my early 20's that I got along with very well, that I considered a friend, but had no physical attraction to what so ever. I actually still consider the man to be a friend of mine and still no physical attraction. So I do believe its possible, but I think its probably rare.
@cjslovie (7)
• United States
12 Feb 08
One of my male friends once told me that guys cant just be friends with girls they put them on a ladder and at some point want to sleep with them. I have several male friends that are just friends..it bothers my husband but alot of them are like brothers to me and nothing more.
@petebaja (516)
• Mexico
13 Feb 08
Given the opportune moment, something's gotta give. Everything's happy right now in your relationship. But when things get rocky and with other outside influences, don't be surprised if one or more of your guy friends cross over to the dark side.
It's the basic instinct of a man, we can't help it! Sorry to burst your perfect bubble impression of your friends, but, it's the truth!
@pumpkinjam (8754)
• United Kingdom
12 Feb 08
My best friend is a guy and we will never be more than friends but he is gay! The odd thing is that my partner still gets jealous.
I've always had male friends and often they have been better friends than my female friends. At least you usually know where you stand with men and they are honest (well, when you're not in a relationship with them at least!)
It's definitely possible to be friends without anything else but it is easier for some than for others.
I do however think that if you have to ask such questions because of a friendship with one guy then it could be because you do want more from him. If you don't then that's fine but you should give it some thought because I don't think you would be doubting it if there was no deeper attraction, although I have a very close bond with my best friend which is what I would call "soul mates". This could be what you are feeling too.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Feb 08
I have quite a few guy friends and so i know that it can happen. A couple have at one time or another expressed an interest but it wasn't mutual and our friendship continued on with no problem. One in particular, I did date for quite a long time. It was wonderful and only added to a great friendship. When it ended it was kinda tough & awkward for a while but in the end, I wanted the friendship even if I couldn't have more. Our friendship is as strong...maybe stronger than it was before. I think it all depends on the people involved.
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
12 Feb 08
I believe absolutly opposite gender can be really close friends and nothing more...I am married to one of my best friends but also have a guy that I've known for a few years or more and consider him a best friend also and my husband knows him and knows of our close friendship and doesn't have a problem with it at all...He is the one I vent to when things are going wrong in my marriage or sometimes just everyday unexpected happenings...And my friend and I said if we ever did get together it would probably ruin the close friendship we do share....I also have best friends of the same gender but close and good friends of the opposite...
@missbdoll (1165)
• Australia
13 Feb 08
I think you certaimly can, and I have.One of my closest freinds is a guy and we've been freinds for over 20 years.Thru both of us being single, both of us having partners, or one of us having someone and the other not.
Sometimes partners donn'rt understand.I really cann't understand people getting jealous, "cause myself I woudn't want to be with someone who didn"t wat me to have freinds, it"s just a part of life.
@loudhummer14 (535)
• Philippines
13 Feb 08
i think it is possible. but then most of the people i know end up falling for each other. they go about running from relationships to the other and later on realized that they have the best already. and that of course is their best friend.
@cjslovie (7)
• United States
12 Feb 08
One of my male friends once told me that guys cant just be friends with girls they put them on a ladder and at some point want to sleep with them. I have several male friends that are just friends..it bothers my husband but alot of them are like brothers to me and nothing more.
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
12 Feb 08
My best friend is also a guy. I've known him since I was like 16. I am definately not attracted to him. He's too weird. But he is my best bud. I think it is possible to just be friends with a guy. Of course every guy I date seems to think that isn't so!
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
12 Feb 08
Theoretically this is a Great Idea! But it wouldn't work for the majority of people. Nothing in this world stays the same, (except change) If a relationship, and the people in it could stay the same, this idea might work. But alas this is not the norm. The day will come when you will need some tender loving care, (like you might get from your Mom) except this guy is not your mom, hes an attractive male and you, a female with needs. One thing will lead to another and now this guy is not your best friend, but your Lover. So whats wrong with this? Not a Thing, Go for It!
@mjasmin (178)
• Micronesia
12 Feb 08
No they can't. Even if they say they are just friends there's always at least one of them who would try for more if he/she had a chance. There's always some other type of attraction at least from one of the 2. They stay "just friends" because the opportunity of making it happen has not presented itself or because they've already been there.
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
12 Feb 08
Absolutely! Men and women can be "just friends". I have quite a few male friends that I've never considered dating or found myself sexually attracted to. Many I've known for over a decade, and nothing has changed.
Being "just friends" after there was a mutual romantic connection and follow through, I don't know about that, especially if the attraction is still there. Granted, if both parties were strong willed enough, they could make it work.
