Do we need to celebrate our special day?

Have you shared your disappointment in the fact that he doesn't celebrate these occasions with him? Or have you just expected him to know that you want these things done? Think about it this way, how does he show you he loves you in everyday circumstances? How often does he show you he is thinking of you? Now, personally my hubby and I don't celebrate anniversaries or valentines day. We do acknowledge that we have spent yet another year together and we do reflect on how or relationship has evolved on our anniversary date, but we don't do gifts or cards or any of that Hallmark stuff. Birthdays...well I am a big birthday person, but my hubby isn't. He isn't a big party or do things special person, not just towards other people but for himself as well. He doesn't like to have a big fuss. But every year I do something special for his birthday, like having one of his favorite foods, and a special kind of home made cake, this year we are doing a mint chocolate cake, last year was a cherry chocolate cake. I usually pick him up practical gifts for his birthday because I know him so well...but some years we just go shopping for him together. For my birthday he will usually either cook and do dishes for me or pick up a meal from my favorite restaurant, or if money allows it take me out for dinner. I don't expect a card or gifts, because I know he hates to shop and I am difficult to shop for....hehehe. So he will usually just tell me to go buy some stuff and show him what he paid for. :) I like it that way. He does surprise me every now and then with a card on my birthday, and one year he paid for me to have a day at a spa with a massage and all. We women have to realize that most men don't view these "special occasions" as any real big deal. Most men don't like to have a fuss, want or give practical things, and think cards are stupid. In fact if you have ever seen the guy Kevin James from King of Queens stand up routine he has a whole skit on guys and cards that is quite funny and true. Different interests doesn't have to be a bad thing. My hubby and I have vastly different interests and hobbies, but there are also somethings we can share too. It is nice to have differences because we are different people, and it keeps some semblance of individuality in a relationship. Just so long as we respect each others differences and don't force the other to participate in our interests. It is better to just so a mild interest in what they like and to try to learn a little bit about it and why they like it so much. This shows an interest in them, not so much So if you really want something you have to communicate it to your husband...like "You know, I would really love to get such and such for my birthday this year." saying something like this a month or so before your birthday and then mentioning it again a few times before your actually day. For anniversaries, you are also a part of it, so why not plan a weekend get-away for the two of you? Surprise him with it. Or make reservations at a favorite restaurant and get tickets to a sporting event he would love? If you want to celebrate, then do it. Don't wait around for him to plan it or taken the initiative, because if you wait for that it will never happen. Most men get lazy in relationships when it comes to this kind of stuff. We as woman have to do all the leg work, I know this can get annoying if we view it as him just being inconsiderate, but it isn't that. Males just don't see the point of doing special things because it isn't practical. We either have to give our men not so subtle hints at what we want or we have to plan it ourselves.

Well, my husband can never forget our Anniversary as it was yesterday, and since it is the day before Valentines he knows when it is, and we do try and go do something every yr. and he does remember and it is nice. He usually buys me a Rose for Valentines day and I think that is where he is off to now, as he even brang up something like that.

I don't think it is the idea of actually wanting a gift that is bothering you, you just want to be acknowledged, and appreciated. I say this because I have the same problem with my Hubby, I know he does not have a romantic bone in his body, and it is frustrating to the ones of us who crave romance. I hate to buy my own gifts all the time. I have started doing date nights, I say come on let's go get something to eat, and we wind up spending quality time together, we eat, shop and even hold hands again. Try it, he won't think of it as a "date" doing it that way.

I have been married for almost 25 years and my husband is the same way! I guess some people do not find it important to celebrate certain life events! Does he celebrate anything else? Some husbands celebrate football games!

I can't blame your husband if he don't buy you gifts, after all, the best gifts are those that are priceless. Aside from that, its hard to buy something for someone you knew who has everything. Maybe you've got jewelries, perfumes, clothes, cars, etc. already and he knows that or maybe he knew you could buy anything you want for yourself. My husband don't buy me gifts that often too but he helps me out with lots of things like helping me with my class presentations, projects in school, etc... We also lots of differences and I am wondering how we meet halfway. Maybe its not really compatibility that binds a relationship, it is how we compliment each other and how me manage to "weather out storms". By the way, what is your husband's religion? I know one sect that doesn't believe in occasions, rather, everyday should be treated as special and a blessed one.

it depends on the reason why he might not celebrating this special occasion. sometimes it is again his will because of philosophy and so on. you must ask him why this happen. maybe he will listen you.

Well, I don't condemn your husband but did you ask him why you don't need to celebrate? He might have some reasons. Personally, it's good to celebrate your special day if you can afford. This will also rekindle those sweet memories you had in your being together!

Sorry, but he has to give atlease some thing on that special day. It is all his fault. He has to gift u something good. Have u feel that 13 years is enough.. or he get bored by u. thanks