Dads are good parents, too.

You're right. Some fathers are WAY better then the mothers (K-Fed). But I also think that fathers are not and will never be equipped with the motherly instinct. Not saying that they can not care for the child but maternal instinct is just natural. I could never father my child, nor would I want to. That is what his dad is for. Just like my husband could never mother our son. We play very different roles for a reason.

My feelings vary on this. If the mother is around the child most of the time and does everything for the child than yea I would think her way is the right way. I do know a lot of great fathers though. Some who even have full custody of their kids because things didn't work out with the mom. Me and my son father aren;t together anymore and he decided a long time ago that he wasn;t gone to be involved in our son's life so I cannot have a say about what is in my own life as i have never had to deal with that.

I think the assumption came about because mothers were the original nurturers. But having said that, most couples today are on par. I'm not saying my husband is perfect and can do things the way I do. I don't trust him to do things well when I am around...but I also know that he will do nothing that will harm the kids. Okay, so he isn't as clean as I am when he gives them a bath or feeds them. So what? And another thing I have to say is that the next person after myself that I can trust my child with is my husband...even when I know that he might not follow my routine for the baby. But I know that's the safest place my baby can be in. My husband is good with kids as far as playing goes and he enjoys his time with them. But he's also over concerned about kids..lol...now I don't know if that is good or bad. My dad is a great dad and would help in raising us...all aspects. My husband tends to leave the dirty stuff to me...he only does it when I'm not around and he has no other choice...which actually is fine by me.

I think Dads are good parents too, I have seen first hand with my own brothers and inlaws of how well they take care of their children too. It may not have happened much in our household when my son was younger, but now that he is a little older, it's all "daddy this" and "daddy that" and I love it as my son is not as dependent on me as he was when he was younger. My husband helped out as much as he could especially when it was time for bathing, burping and putting him to sleep. Even just giving me a break now and then. I did most of the looking after because he was more comfortable with it and helped out when I needed him.

My husband is a good provider and sometimes plays with the kids, but when I just go to the store and leave him with the kids, I have come home to him laying in bed watching tv hiding from the kids...and the 2 yr old outside by himself. So the only time I can safely leave him with the kids is after 9pm when he and they are in bed and hopefully all asleep. I don't mind someone doing something differently! I mind that my babies are safe!

QFT (Quoted for Truth) Thank you Silly. Thank you for voicing this when so few people do (uh, no offense to the many responders in this thread). I can easily answer why so many people assume mothers are the better parents and fathers are the terrible parents. However, it'll be a long answer... it'll also have ranting I guess. Anyways, one reason why so many people assume fathers are the worst parents and mothers are the best... its societal bombardment. I know that answer is paradoxical but bare with me. TV has examples of the mother being above average or perfect, while the father is a buffoon (even when compared to the children). You can also find examples of the mother being the better parent, being beyond any wrong doing, being excused in the cases of wrongdoing, etc. Those are found on TV, news, the paper, magazines, blogs... everywhere. With this, more of the societal mindset is discovered and highlighted for ascertation. Think of society's views on mothers and fathers... but think of both the good and the bad. - Father abuses his wife or children = he's a scumbag (rightly so) - Father murders his family = he's a real scumbag (I agree) - Fathers are the ones who skip parenting responsibilities (some do, not all) - Fathers are the deadbeats - Fathers need to "keep it in their pants" - Fathers divorce all the time to ditch the family and be with someone younger (happens WAY less than people think) Now here's how mothers are typically observed in several scenarios - Mother abuses her husband or children = no one cares (for some people this NEVER happens... how unrealistic -_-) - Mother murders her husband or children = she must have had a problem, general sympathy is given - Mothers must always be pitted if they are in an out of wedlock situation (and other situations) - Mothers are never wrong and if somehow they are, there's a reason for it (therefore we need a lesser or no punishment) Its quite sad, but apparent. Typically its not seen or known unless one is really observant. There are even scientific pieces spanning years that point to a child's need for a mother (another basis for societal thinking in this matter). Incidentally, there are less reports, postings, discussion on children growing up without fathers, and children's need for fathers (unless there's money or a crime involved -_-). Plenty of groups and individuals do not want to hear, see or even think of it otherwise. ********** On an individual basis, its just like you say. Its rather contradictory. Yes there are wives married to husbands that aren't doing what they must, but in reality the number is quite lower than what general society presents in all of its outlets. Many times, fathers are there parenting their kids, spending time with kids, helping out in the house and doing the THANKLESS parts of fatherhood (working the longer hours, doing the heavier and dirter housework, supporting the whole family). From what I've seen however, its not enough for several women. In turn, these mothers and wives build higher expectations for their men to work even harder or already have such expectations for fathers and husbands that are far beyond the norm (Prince Charming Syndrome). On a lesser note, there are also plenty of wives and mothers with their own prejudices on this matter (most times it subconscious, ingrained in growing and observing). When mothers ask for fathers to spend extra time with the children so they can do something (or when fathers VOLUNTEER) there is a line of thinking that he'll not measure up, or he'll do something wrong. There are even mothers who spout off orders even after the kids are fully and suitibly in the father's care. Here's an example comic of the latter (which I coin "backseat parenting" for now): http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1705

I agree that it's terrible that people tend to side with the mothers in almost all disputes. Many times the father is better than the mother when it comes to parenting. I think more needs to go into disputes that involve children.

Sometimes husbands are the better parents. My dad is a prime example of that. I know that if I was raised by my mother I would be a tottally different person and not in a good way. Sure he had some problems but everyone does. A single father of two, he did a damn good job. He became an awesome role model and I picked a husband who is one of the best fathers around, I wouldn't expect anything less.

Dads are just 'good' parents, they're essential parents. The lack of fathers in the lives of many young men particularly is the reason why they go wrong so easily. And young women need their fathers as well. The problem is that America, in particular, has become very matriarchal in its approach to parenting, something that is drastically wrong.

While my husband is an excellent father, and the best possible choice I could ever have made regarding a role model for my kids, alone, no he couldn't do it, and he'd be the first one to admit to that, and has many times. The reason we make such a wonderful parenting team is because we compliment each other with our faults and advantages. I have trouble just letting go and being silly with the kids, and he doesn't know when to be serious. On the other hand, when it comes to discipline, he's often too hard on the kids, punishing out of frustration instead of the incentive to teach a lesson, which is where I come in. When we married, we agreed that major decisions would be handled by the two of us, that we would be one team united regarding the kids and wouldn't allow them to differentiate between us or side us against each other ... BUT ... we also agreed that I'd be the primary caregiver BECAUSE of those faults, and that I'd make the day to day decisions and handle day to day caregiving. Considering he works and I don't, it was logical in every regard. If I see one particular person saying "I don't want to leave him with his father because ..." then I assume that in her SPECIFIC case she has reason to feel that way. Whatever that reason is, only she's aware of it and none of the readers are. Perhaps he doesn't have the patience required. Perhaps he's not experienced with certain situations (ie colic). Maybe he simply isn't interested in one on one time with the baby and feels 'bothered' ... there's no way for us to know. So I don't judge and automatically assume that every one of these women believes that fathers aren't worthwhile.

It's nice to see a woman who's actually not bashing us for a change. Thanks! We each have our role. Just because ours is slightly different doesn't mean it isn't any less important.

Yeah, dads definitely don't get the recognition they deserve. It's really sad, cause I know a lot of really great dads. I have lots of memories of my dad taking care of me when I was little along with my mom. I remember once when he even stayed home with me on Thanksgiving day cause I was sick. Both of my parents were really great, so I don't think it'd be fair to give credit only to one of them. I think my husband will make a wonderful father one day, and I definitely am not worried about leaving our kids with him whenever we do become parents. I totally agree with you, I wouldn't have married my husband if I didn't trust him to be a good father. Starting a family has always been really important to me, so I wouldn't marry a man who I didn't think would be a good dad to my children. Seeing how good my husband is with children is part of what made me fall in love with him. :) I am actually really looking forward to seeing him as a father some day!

Yes are good parents too. Too long has the stigmatism that Dads can't take care of their kids has been around. Just because the Mom does something a certain way doesn't mean it is the only way to do the thing. My son is a stay at home Dad and very competent. He not only stays at home with them he home schools them. He is always on the look out to extend their knowledge. They are 10,12 and 13 and you should see them around their Dad. They pay very close attention to him. They go to him with their questions and are allowed to say if they disagree with him. He in my book is a wonderful parent and I know that there are a whole lot more guys that make wonderful parents if only the mother would let lose and let the Dad do things in his way. Just because she does things a certain way does not make it the only way. Relax Moms and let Dads take care of the kids to in every since of the word. I am very proud of my son and he makes a outstanding Dad.

I agree that daddies could be great parents too. First, I have my grandfather (my mom's dad) who was really lovable, caring, patient, hanrdworking, understanding, etc and my partner whom I called the "house husband" because he works at home, takes care of our two daughters and even takes care of me. I do most of the housechores but that is not the basis for saying that we are great parents. Actually, it was my hubby who saw the first smile, first crawl, first steps, heard the first cooing, giggle, sensible words my eldest uttered. He was the one who was there to give her vitamins daily and her medicines when she's sick. My daughter learned that daddy will fix her broken toys and it shouldn't be thrown at once, that things should be returned to their proper places after you use them. The list is long and I would be glad to share it but I don;t wanna bore you all. As to they are to be blamed most of the time and they are not recognized, maybe it depends on the society we are included. Here in the Philippines, paternal family are still ideal to most where fathers are the once who must decide on big issues, they are given credit for a good family they raise and keep and they uploaded if their children and wife are well-provided.

I do think that fathers are good parents too. I trust my husband to take care of my kids. He might have his own way of doing things, but it isn't wrong. Sometimes we just have to trust them a little more.

In the case of my husband's divorce, it would have been better for his son to have been placed with him, as opposed to being placed with his mother, but because of the laws of the state, and sexist biases against men, the boy was placed with his mother. It's just not fair!

My husband is a great father to our son. We had kids around us a lot before we had our son and my husband was so good with the other kids that I knew he would make a wonderful dad. I never have to worry about my son if I leave him with my husband cause he takes care of him.

My husband is a great father- both of us are head over heels in love with our son. He makes sure he's happy and provides for him... and there's no cuter time than when Daddy and baby are on the floor playing :)But no- he can't take care of him like I can. When our son was born I was pretty much bedridden afterwards (spare you details) and he was a pro- changing diapers, burping, dressing, I mean it was amazing. But once I was better and was able to do that stuff too, all of a sudden: I don't remember how to change a diaper, I can't give him a bath, and then outright telling me he didn't want to hold the spoon and feed him because that was weird. So, now- I do it all. Granted now that our son is 10 months old, I am fast at doing it all.. so now I would rather do it. But I still try to get him to be a part of it all because 1- I get exhausted and 2- he needs to be a part of it, if not he regret it later when our son is older!

Both parents are equal, but moms are better at maternal care while fathers are better at making sure the children behave. So you do need both parents, the only exception is when the children are babies, that they need their mothers. However, when the children are older, and God forbid, the parents divorce or were never married, then the one that does the better job should have custody. I know children who were raised by their father, in this case a widower, who took care of their children, and since I lost my mother at fourteen, I was in that category, so fathers can take care of their children just as good as mothers, but in different ways.

hi sillychick. i love this topic, since i am a new father of 4 months old babyboy. I completely do not agree if people say that father cannot be better parents for his baby. some can even be the better than mother. i knew it from the first time. of course father has to be involved in every decision making for his child. father could be good in baby sitting baby. but still he could be the balancing of his baby life though. so it's never enough if the baby only has his mother taking care of him.