my husband hates being near me!

I absolutely understand what you are going through. My husband was deployed four days after we got married in 2004 and when he got home, he went through the same thing. I didn't understand it then because i felt like he'd been away so long and he should want to be with me every second or at least most of the time, but what i came to realize is that he was dealing with a lot of emotional issues of having been in that country and was trying to pull himself back together. In order for us not to fight, he stayed to himself. It was a very difficult time for me, especially after the birth of our daughter. He would stay downstairs, in what i called the "go to hell room" and that's where he stayed for hours. Never helped with the kids, never helped with the house, nothing. Them being over there does something to them, and it is in no way a good thing. My husband couldn't come back to home life...he was still living like he was in Iraq. I had three kids to take care of, so that consumed all of my time, so i just let him to whatever. Just be careful though, because them coming back from that kind of situation can make them a time bomb. It did my husband and I actually had to end up leaving him for a few months for him to realize that he was home and couldn't treat me like a nobody. Now, he's gone again on his second tour and there are still times that I fear of what it will be like when he gets back home this time. He's changes alot though, which i am truly blessed for. Just try to be understanding that he's not knowing how to feel at this moment and he is probably still reliving some things that went on over there. They all really need to be in intensive therapy after coming back, but alot of them will not accept it. I'm sorry your having to go through this though and if you ever need to talk i'm usually here at night. Good luck to you and I'll be praying for you. God bless

He may have some underlying issues to why he is being so quiet ie:issues dealing with Iraq,try to open the lines of communication with him or I suggest some type of marriage counseling if all else fails.Also find yourself some hobbies,take up knitting,walking,join some local groups that are listed online that meet in person(also explain though that you are looking for something thats costs $0),make some new friends,go to bookstores and read etc...Good luck with everything.Im sure he doesnt hate you..he maybe has just changed a bit after everything has happened.

I am a military mom. Quite frankly, if my son was to come home with major emotional changes like you have described, I would be contacting his superiors. I would ask that the chaplain make a house call to him. He should not be alone with his thoughts too long. He needs to talk to people that he is comfortable with. He needs to vent but I can understand that he is not comfortable laying his troubles on your shoulders. He needs help to make the transition from war to home. The Red Cross might also have counselors that can assist you. Your hometown pastor or minister might also be of help. His doctor might be able help him. Reach out, make a phone call but do not let this go on for very long.

Aretha~ so sorry to hear that you are going threw this. I am guessing that being in iraq has been very difficult for your husand and he needs to get some counseling to help him deal with what he saw while there. I wouldn't take it personally, I am sure it has some connection to him being in iraq. Talk to him about it. Tell him your concerns.

I'm a member of cafemom and in the town I live in us mommies have Mommies Night Out and play dates. You might want to check that out to see if there are any mommies in your area to help you keep busy. Or take up a hobby, crocheting keeps me busy and if I get really into a project I can lose track of time!