Married and still alone on V-day
By alibabes88
@alibabes88 (514)
United States
February 14, 2008 8:09pm CST
First let me wish everyone reading this a happy Valentines day. Now i dont want to sound like i am complaining but are there any other married people out there who got nothing for v-day? Today i had great hopes that this years v-day would be a good one. i new my husband had not gotten me anything, he never does, But i planned a great evening... only to be shot down. Today me and my 2yr old son, went out and bought my hubby is favorite dinner, two cards and some choloclate strawberries. Well my husband gets home at 4:30 and says he is sick. ( which he has been just fine all day). so i was a little disapointed to hear that, but i moved on. I procedded to make him dinner, his favorite. Only to hear that it wasnt any good, and he didnt want to eat it. :( After he sat there and watched me and our son eat dinner he went to bed. Mind you, he went to bed at 530. YES 5:30!! I couldnt believe it. My son was up later than him. So now i am sitting here venting to you all, eating what was suppose to be our romantic desert together! V-day really sucks!!!
Any one else have any Bad V-days?
5 people like this
14 responses
@dlkuku (1935)
• United States
15 Feb 08
My husband and I both had to work last night, but we really don't put a lot of effort into Valentine's Day. It's just another day. We did go out last night after work for a quick meal, but nothing special, we were just both hungry and I really didn't feel like cooking.
I think that love should be expressed every day, not just one day a year. I would rather have my husband surprise me now and then with a thoughtful little gift or flowers just because he wants to than to feel forced to give me something just because it happens to be Valentine's Day.
2 people like this
@Sanourra (2)
• United States
15 Feb 08
I agree. I used to expect things on Valentine's day, but now I see it as just another day. My husband is wonderful pretty much daily. I rarely ever get a card and never flowers, but he does thoughtful things for me all the time.
I injured one of my fingers earlier this week, so he washed my hair for me last night and ordered one of my favorite dishes from a good restaurant to eat at home. We let each other know every day that we love and treasure each other. I hope never to let that go by the wayside.
@sreamsong (83)
• Nigeria
15 Feb 08
Alibabe, i really do not think that v-day sucks. You were not complaining but you've just told us your expectations of this v-day. I did not hear you say anything about your hubby's expectations of the v-day. When he came back by 4:30 and said he was sick, did it ever cross your mind that he could have needed more than his favourite dinner and cards? You have the mind of a good wife - fixing things even your hubby never notices but sometimes the dynamics of married life demands more than being a ggod wife. Did it occur to you that may be, he had other ideas? He was fine and all of a sudden, he claims sick besides, he did not leave the house. Probably, you two were so absorbed in your individual plans that you negleted each other. Well, i guess it's not late to kiss and make up. There is still going to be other v days. Cheer up.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
15 Feb 08
I don't believe there really should be just 1 special day - it's just become so commercial coz the first thing everyone does is spend big bucks on gifts & cards which only makes those companies rich - see, they know what they're doing.
I was happy just to hear a Happy Valentines day from my other half & that he loved me - i guess i'm easier pleased than others!
Your day wasn't too bad, maybe he really wasn't feeling so good & if his dinner wasn't any good, then maybe he really was sick coz everything tastes pretty bad when you're not feeling the best.
Think of it this way, he didn't forget the day itself & on top of that, you got to eat all those delicious chocolate strawberries yourself - i think that's a BIG plus!!!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
15 Feb 08
i agree with you so much. I think the holiday is so over-rated and people expect so much that when it doesn't go as they imagine, then they feel unloved and sad. If love is shown all year long, there is no need to prove it on this one day...you'll already know.
@alibabes88 (514)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Well let me first say this in my deffence. I wasnt expecting anything from him. i wasnt expecting a gift, or a card, or anything. just for him to spend some time with me. My husband just back from an 8 month deployment. so that night, was the first real night we were going to get to spend time together. Which we still didnt get to do.
Its nice that you were just pleased with a simple happy v-day, but im sure you would have been happy to get to spend a nice dinner with your husband, or a nice desert with him.
@SheliaLee (2736)
• United States
15 Feb 08
Hi There!
I love my husband dearly but he never gets me anything for Valentine's Day, or any other occasion for that matter. He doesn't like holidays where he feels like "he has to get someone a present". He is the same way about Christmas which is my favorite holiday.
I fixed him a chocolate cake last night which he loved and I knew he would. I did it on the spur of the moment.
I was ready to conk out myself last night because my medication that I have to take makes me sleepy but he wasn't LOL. I was worn out but I didn't turn him down, I never will unless I'm just really sick.
I'm sorry you had a bad day and hopefully things will be better. God Bless!
SheliaLee
@Bonzy1322 (18)
• Canada
15 Feb 08
My daughter and I spent it alone. I was also planning a dinner and baked him a cake and once the little one was in bed I had other special plans. My husband calls me form work and tells me he will be late because he's going out with the guys after. I told why did he have to go out on this night that I had something special planned, he laughed. I don't know what time he came home last night he is still asleep right now. And yes I got nothing either and cake is untouched in the fridge.
1 person likes this
@4monsters4me (2569)
• United States
15 Feb 08
We don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It has no significance and is a commercial holiday made up by the card companies. It's a silly holiday for teens, if you ask me.
I think 2007 was the only year my husband got me something in the 8 years we have been married. I didn't expect or get anything this year. My kids got a bunch of candy at school so they gave me some of that.
My husband doesn't believe in holidays at all. He also doesn't buy me things for our anniversary (which was in January) or Mother's Day. I usually get something for my birthday which is in December but it is never something thoughtful--usually just a video game he thinks I will like.
I'm still waiting for my wedding band. When we got married we didn't have money for 2 of them so I used my engagement ring and he promised to get me the band. 8 years later and I still don't have one and I no longer have the diamond. It was stolen. He has absolutely no intention of buying another one. Oh well.
@alibabes88 (514)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Man that really sucks. I hate to say this but your hubby sucks! I couldnt imagine not doing anything for anniversarys or speical days. Thats just crazy. I hope he figures it out, and gets you a wedding band. I mean your a married woman, you should be able to wear a wedding band. Im sorry !! :(
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
15 Feb 08
My husband and I went away the first weekend in Feb so we decided that would be our v-day present to each other. I still expected a card, but no luck. I bought him a card and had our daughter make him one. Well I made it she colored it but either way he didn't even think to get me some thing from her. I always think to get some thing from the kids. Oh well... My day consisted of going to work the going to the denist for a root canale and coming home to a messy house. My husband works evenings so I don't see him inless I stay up till midnight wich I don't see the point in doing because i won't get "any" any way because he will have had a "long" day.
Happy Valentines day!!
@alibabes88 (514)
• United States
16 Feb 08
IT really sucks that you had to have a root canale done on v-day. At least you got to go away for a weekend together.
Most husbands forget to do the whole gift from child thing. All the wife's i know say the same thing:)
@aretha (2538)
• United States
15 Feb 08
i would be so mad. i am so sorry for you. my hubby can be a brat sometimes but that is just mean.
my hubby bought me a steam vac for v-day. i wanted one bad so i got it a couple weeks early and i got him tires for the 4-wheeler. i had plained on making dinner with just us and the kids but his mom called and wanted us to go down there so he said yes. i really don't care for some of his family much and i have 3 boys(7,3,1) and there is so much to get into. so i spent the night chasing my one year old around while my hubby sat and talked. i most say though mine saids a little better then yours. mybe next year he might surprise you.
@happythoughts (4109)
• United States
15 Feb 08
My hubby remembered me this year. I have been married ofr 8 years and this is our 10th valentines day together and this is the 2nd time he remembered, the first since we got married. I am feeling pretty lucky. It only took a threat to him to get it done.
@lexus54 (3572)
• Singapore
15 Feb 08
I feel sad that on such a special day this time of the year, when married women everywhere want to feel specially loved and remembered, I read about husbands not doing something to warm up the day and make it memorable for the ones they love. Sitting here at my PC the last few hours, I have come across three threads already where ladies lament about this situation. Husband should learn to realize that little things are important in marriage, and their loved ones need to be showered with acts of love sometimes, and Valentine's Day is a great day to show this, even in little ways and inexpensive ways.
If you didn't receive even a card, check out my latest thread where I made a Valentine's Day card for you and everyone else. Save this card onto your PC and show it to your hubby, and tell him that even a stranger you don't really know made a card for you on myLot. That hopefully will send a positive message to him that he can do little things for you that will make this day a memorable one you will treasure.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
15 Feb 08
Well, I have to admit that the lonliest valentines days that I've ever had were when I was married. Then again, the lonliest times in my life were when I was married. It really had nothing at all to do with the holiday itself. If I felt love in my life all year long with my hubby, I really would not have minded him not being romantic or getting me anything for Valentines day. Thing was, I was ALWAYS looking for ANY sign of love from him. we've been divorced now for 20 years...no regrets. Now my boyfriend got me just a card and wrote a sweet note in it. I didn't even expect that because he is unemployed. I had to work and saw him for 5 mins. I haven't seen him all week due to weather conditions. I was not in the least bit hurt or sad. I don't know what your're relationship with your hubby is but my thoughts are that either it isn't that close anyway or that you had huge expectations and set yourself up for a let-down. This one day should not make you question his love for you if your relationship is normally close and loving.
@alibabes88 (514)
• United States
16 Feb 08
I dont question the fact that my husband loves me. I know he does. But he just got home from an 8 month deployment. So we were suppose to finally get to spend some quailty time with one another... something we have had in 8 months... So, yeah i was dissapointed i couldnt hold him and hug him, exspeically since he was right there. I didnt expect him to do anything for me, no gifts or anything, The only thing we agreed on was talking, and just being with each other. Its the only night we have had together since he has been back.. which has only been a week... :(
1 person likes this
@alibabes88 (514)
• United States
14 Mar 08
no no, its alright really. i guess i forgot to mention the fact that he was gone for such a long time
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
17 Feb 08
I'm so sorry. I didn't know the whole story. Yes, I don't blame you for feeling a bit (alot) let down. I feel so bad for the families of the men in service. This should have been a special time for you two with or without it being a holiday. You didn't mention that you had so little time with him in your post...I would have looked at the whole thing differently. I'm sorry.
@butterflygrl76 (205)
• United States
15 Feb 08
My husband didn't forget Valentine's day. He just isn't romantic at all, any day of the year. Sometimes I wonder if he's really there or just a mirage. :)
@lily_paloma (4)
•
15 Feb 08
Well, we went to lunch. No card or flowers or anything, but we aren't really into that.
But we are going on vacation starting tomorrow, so I am counting that as our celebration of Valentine's Day, even though it wasn't really planned to be that.
I guess though if your husband is sick, it's not his fault. And really, he must've felt pretty bad to go to bed at 5:30. So don't worry about it - if you show each other you love each other EVERY day, why does Valentine's day matter any more?
