I need some ways out of a catch 22 situation...
By autismmom2
@autismmom2 (155)
United States
February 24, 2008 10:44am CST
Yes it seems like I have an excuse for all, but it's because I've been there and done that, probably twice. I'm 24 with two kids. My daughter is 7 and has autism (recently diagnosed) and does not have any services at school. I also have a 3 year old. He's my little prince...or monster, depending on the day. He has a lot of behavioral problems, is speech delayed, and is just short of an autism diagnosis. He is in a special ed school for 2.5 hours everyday, and has speech therapy. Here's my issue: We still live in Daddy's basement and are 95% reliant on him and now his new wife. I can't find a loop hole to help myself. I have applied for public assistance/welfare. I get a small cash allowance and food stamps. All of us have medical coverage. Do I work? No. Why? Because I can't keep a job.
When I applied for PA (public assistance) they sent me to the department of labor to find out about a job search or being put on work activity. You're given a few days to secure daycare which is where I get stuck. My son's been booted from a few daycares. So the DOL said they would help get my "needed in home" case approved. I did that. Right now I'm "exempt" from working and keep my PA. A few problems with this- The rent they allow is next to nothing, being at home doesn't do anything to help us move out of a very stressful enviornment. I need to move out, we have to move out.
Get a job right? How? IF I get past the interview it's only for some crappy cashier job paying next to nothing, and IF I can actually get my son in a daycare, the chance is high that he will not last long. (Always switching daycares screws him up a lot)
Go to school? Still need daycare, and can't afford it at this point.
I want to work, I want to get off PA, and I want out of Daddy and Evil step mother's house.
How?
Lets say I get my son in daycare. Now I have to find before and/or afterschool care for an autistic child (no they don't have an afterschool program at her school). I have no one to help when they get sick, schools closed, snow days, someone gets hurt, and g-d forbid I get sick. No I do not have any family that will physically help. Friends have their own lives. I'm stuck.
I'm not expecting anyone to hand me anything, although that would be nice, but I do need some hand holding. I've fried my brain over and over trying to come up with a plan and have it fail. (I had asked if my son could get more time in his special ed school because he's still having a lot of problems, but they denied my request)
Anyone know of any ways to get out of this rut and become self sufficient? (Meeting a rich guy is out of the question- my kids still bite).
Yes I will come back with answers because I've been trying since my daughter was born and even more since my son was born.
Single moms...How are you doing it?
3 people like this
3 responses
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
24 Feb 08
What about your children's father. Is he paying child support. If not Why isn't DCS doing any thing about that. Sometimes you can get ssi for children with disabilities. I don't know if this is possible but it is worth a try.
@autismmom2 (155)
• United States
28 Feb 08
My son's father does pay child support, but since I'm on public assistance, the county gets my child support.
I am trying to get SSI for them, but my son doesn't have a label, and my daughter probably will not qualify even though she is diagnosed with autism.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I'm sorry that things are the way they are but don't give up. First the school has to provide a service for your daughter. it is her right. You just have to push them and push them. My cousin took her kids to the Department of child services year ago. They told her she would have to come and make an appointment. so she sat down and just let her kids go and she also gave them some gum and candy. They wanted her to leave and she told them she didn't have any place too go so she was staying there. Any way the found a way to help her in the end. just a thought
@rdolphingirl (361)
• United States
25 Feb 08
Ok ... since I am a single mother too ... and even though my oldest (who probably could have) doesn't have an official diagnoses of an ASD (Aspegers I am about 99% sure in his case) my younger two are both diagnosed as "developmentally delayed" with the middle also having a Noonans syndrome (genetic disorder) diagnoses. I will answer your ending question first. "How are you doing it?" .. My younger two are both on SSI payments, I am considering trying to get my eldest diagnosed and apply for him as well ... other things keep getting in the way ... LOL. It takes some time (2-6 mths) and some extra doc visits, but in my understanding getting a child on SSI only requires that the child have a permanent/lifelong "disability" (like being ASD is!) and that the family be under a certain income level. I think in your case it would almost surely be worth calling and talking to the people at Social Security and seeing what they have to say. I have heard of many children diagnoses autistic getting SSI. Depending on your location top monthly payments are about $600/mth.
Hope it all works out for ya soon!
~Rachel
1 person likes this
@autismmom2 (155)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I am applyinf for SSI for them, but I think I'm going to get stuck. My son doesn't have a label, but I am going to see if he can be medically considered developmentally delayed, because he is delayed. My daughter with a diagnosis, isn't affected too bad, and her school not only denied her services, is also questioning her diagnosis.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
25 Feb 08
you are in a very tough spot. I have 4 girls and I have raised them on my own most of their lives. It is so so hard. I also had to live with the dad of my youmgest for nearly a year after we broke up. That was the worst nightmare. Yes...you do need to get out of there. The best thing that I did was to put us on a list for low income housing. They base your rent on your income. I work and so I did not qualify for food stamps or much of anything other than medicare for the kids. And yes...I work as at a stupid cashiers job. If I were in your shoes, I would not work and apply for welfare. You are in a spot where it would not be beneficial for you to work and try to pay for daycare. One of the problems that I bet you are having is that you are living with the father of your children?? I was working when i was in your spot and so I don't know how it works but I'd check it out and put my name on every housing list there is. Where I live, the people that don't work fare better than those that do. They live nearly rent-free and drive much better vehicles than I could. you should go into your loal welfare office and talk to them. mak it clear that you are not
@autismmom2 (155)
• United States
28 Feb 08
We're living with MY father. I am on welfare, but it pays next to nothing. We do have medicaid, which thankfully, is great insurance. I did also qualify for food stamps, but with my kids food allergies, the budget isn't nearly enough to feed us every week. Not that we will go hungry, but we just don't have that great of meals at the end of the month.
Low income housing and section 8 both require the applicant to be working, which I should be doing, but my son gets kicked out of daycares.
1 person likes this
