How do you respond to "What do you not like about me?"

I guess most of us will react the way you do. When approached with such a situation, tact is the way to do. And depending on who you are dealing with, different tacts have to be used in order not to offend anyone. What an irony isn't it? One one hand this fella is asking you what you do not like about him. On the other hand, he is not willing to be offended by your truthful comments about what you do not like about him. Heh heh heh... paradox in life eh?

You are not alone in mastering such skills applefreak. I am also trying to master such a skill as well. It is never easy to do so. Most of the time, the mouth is always uttering what the mind is thinking. By the time it leaves the mouth, it is too late already. Now, I am always trying to make a conscious effort to let the thought flow through my head first before opening my mouth. Not an easy task I tell you!

guess as an adult we are expected to be diplomatic in our behaviour. though we are asked what we didn't like about the other person, that doesn't mean we can be 'rude' ourselves right? i learnt my lessons in my past relationship tat what was uttered does not end it's damage at the point of time. the person hearing the words will ponder and think about them long after. meaning is in people so even when we didn't mean it that way, when they ponder they'll just keep adding meaning that's not even there to begin with. as a result, i've lost a few 'friends' due to such misunderstandings. so now, i try to coach my words in such a way that i get my meaning across but yet doesn't give much room for misinterpretation. it's a skill and i'm still learning it by the day.

Hi blueskater, First of all, I would like to welcome you to this wonderful forum. You will have a whale of a time here once you get the hang of it. The people here are friendly and will engage in meaningful discussion with you when ever you initiate it. Second of all, I am honored that you picked my thread to post your second posting. Thank you very much blueskater. Now to answer your question... you can choose to participate in discussion first to get an idea of what the crowd in this forum is like. This will also give you a chance to explore the various functionalities and features MyLot has to offer. Then once you are comfortable, you can start to start your own threads to generate discussions. That was what I did. Lest we deviate from the original intend from this thread, I would recommend you to search around and look around for a while before you decide what you want to do here at MyLot... Post replies or Post topics to generate discussions as your main strategy. Now, back to the topic, you are also the tactful kind. I guess, as I mentioned before, we were all brought up to avoid conflicts. And whenever we can, we will so that life would be a little more peaceful. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

hi ahgong, thanks so much for your advice! i really appreciate it!!

Hi janejaa, Thank you for responding and sharing your thoughts. In the situation you mentioned, it would really require some level of knowledge of the person who is asking you that question.

That is a reaction I would expect most people to be doing. I was brought up to be tactful when ever I can. So I guess your reaction is not that much of a different from most of us. I guess this stems mainly from our need to avoid conflicts. If we say something that would potentially offend the other party, it would be better not to say it. Rite?

I agree... i hate confrontations like that...

Hey squaretile! Long time no see! How have you been? Well, in the situations you described above, you are using tact to handle the situation. And I agree with you that that should be the way things ought to be done. So, how conservative will you be if your boss comes up to you and ask you "what do you not like about me?".

Hmm... Interesting. Welcome to MyLot helentongtong! I am honored that you chose my thread to post your very first maiden post! Well, back to the topic. In the event that your boss or your colleague comes up to you and ask you this question, how would you handle it then? How would you try to answer and at the same time not share your truthful thoughts?

So you will be totally truthful and blunt to telling the fella what you dislike about him or her? Regardless of who that person is? What if that person is your best friend? Or your working colleague for that matter? Or even your own boss? Would you have reacted the same way for all of them?

That is an interesting approach. A good one in fact. But not everyone will be able to be as forthcoming as you do when it comes to dispensing negative comments. I guess with a little tact, we can always make a negative comment become a constructive one. It all depends on how the receiver perceive the comments. Thanks for sharing your thoughts colourless.

Wow... not every one can be as diplomatic like you in situations like that. I have witness so many back stabbing incidents that I lost count. Rather than confront the person who back stabbed you, most people would rather find another job to move on to instead of suffering in the current position. So, you have it good ellie. Thanks for sharing that little snippet of your life with me.