being called something other than mum or dad?
By bobbyjoe143
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
February 27, 2008 5:31am CST
Do you mind if your child/ren call you something other than mum or dad?
My son has always called me Bobby, this is my name, has always been my name and so I see no problem with him calling me it.
When he sees friends or if I pop into school, he says "that's Bobby, she's my mum", he knows preciely what my role is and that I am his mum, but he also understands that before becoming his mum, I was was a person in my own right, with my own name.
My parents also gave us the option to call them by their first names, and though for the most part, I call them mum and dad, I know full well that they are also Mick and Kate and that not only are they my parents, but people too and I think it helped me to never think of them as just there for me, they have their own lives.
How about you, do you let your child know you have a name other than mum or dad, do you let them call you by it, or are you strict about them using mum and dad?
What about if you are a step/foster/adoptive parent, do you get those kids in your care to call you by your actual names or something else?
3 people like this
12 responses
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
27 Feb 08
My kids just call me Mum/Mom/Mama but I guess if they were to call me by my name I wouldnt really be bothered by it..It would take some getting use to since they are both teenagers now and have been calling me mom all their lives and of course I would PREFER that they call me that but I wouldnt get mad or anything by it...I'd just need an adjustment period I think LOL
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
27 Feb 08
"he knows preciely what my role is and that I am his mum, but he also understands that before becoming his mum, I was was a person in my own right, with my own name"
Ya know I have to say too that looking at it that way, would make it far easier for me to adjust because you are so right..Thats a great and logical way of looking at it..Glad you said that :-D
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
27 Feb 08
that was supposed to say *precisely* lol, sorry, spelling is a little off today...
After 10+ years of being called mum, I am sure that you are quite used to it and if your children changed tack now and started using your first name, it would definately take some getting used to.
In the case of my son, it has been something from day one, he has never really called me mum and I am just used to it that way, infact I find it odd if he does call me mum when asking me something or calling me to him lol.
His school mates think it's cool that he is allowed to call me Bobby, and one or two of them have even tried it on their parents (one parent laughed it off, the other was non too happy...) and he has never questioned why he is allowed, he just knows that's my name and is happy to use it.
@Bev1986 (1425)
• United States
27 Feb 08
My girls have always called my Mom, or Mommy when they were younger. I can't imagine them calling me Bev! lol! Of course, if they want my attention in the grocery store or out in a crowd and there are tons of other parents around, they sometimes will yell, "Hey Bev!" so that I'll look! lol!
It's funny though when I'm out with a bunch of parents and a child yells "Mom!" all the heads turn, mine included! I think it's just natural that you look when you hear it! lol!
@above31rubies (1863)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I do that, too- even when I am shoppin gor something and my kids aren't even there! lol
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
27 Feb 08
My son call me mom pretty much all the time. There are times though that he will call me Fals, which is a breakdown of my name, "Fallon", it doesn't bother me though. Everyone else calls me Fals so why wouldn't he at times as well. I know it use to upset my mom when we were littlier because my sister would call her Linda instead of mom. I see no big deal in the matter though.
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
27 Feb 08
if pretty much everyone else calls you that, then yes i can see why your son will do it too sometimes.
i don't understand why your mum would get so upset about being called by her name though, i take it that you and your sister were not always called "daughter" by your mum, but by your actual names when she spoke to you?
@dont_pick_your_nose (2279)
• Australia
27 Feb 08
i think it's cute. Your babies are your babies, they can call you whatever and its still cute! my boy calls me mummy but he is only 2. i like your style.
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
27 Feb 08
It's just what he has always called me, so I am used to it.
When my son was a baby, we spent lots of time around my family (I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers) and so, he was bombarded with hearing all these people calling me by my name. This is where I believe he picked up the fact that I will happily answer to the name Bobby rather than automatically calling me mum or mummy.
@jhl930 (3601)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I don't have children yet...but whenever I do have a son or daughter I am going to make sure that they call me dad... Idon't know why but I don't really think that I would like my children calling me Josh..I have always called my mom..mom...and I think that it is a sign of respect because they have a father and a mother..and thats what i would tell them..
@Swaana (1205)
• India
27 Feb 08
Though my kids call us mom and dad, they do call when they want to be highly friendly with us by our petnames. Infact I too do that to my mom. But cant say whether I will do that to my father. My great grandma never allowed even us to call her grandma but wanted to call her only by her name.
@bobbyjoe143 (1287)
•
27 Feb 08
my mum also doesn't like the name grandma or grandmother, she feels it's a bit old and fuddy duddy lol.
instead my son, niece and nephew call her nana kate and my dad papa mick, which they are both happy with.
though given chance, my son just calls my dad "the old man" he even wrote my dads birthday card out that way LOL.
@southernpixie (741)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I wouldn't like it if my kids called me by my first name. I wasn't raised calling my parents by their first names. I still call my parent's "mom" and "daddy". My kids call me "mom" or "mama" and that's just fine with me. I still have my own identity and I love the fact that being a mom is part of that.
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
27 Feb 08
My son is too young for this really to be an issue with us yet. I'm still just "Mama" or "Mommy" to him. When he's a little older, I wouldn't mind him calling me by my name, though I'm not sure his father would feel the same way about it. I have a very strong attachment to my name (so much so that I didn't change my last name when I got married) so it wouldn't bother me at all to be called by it by my son.
I called my parents by their names for most of my young life, but that was largely because they didn't really play parental roles in my life. In fact, I only started calling my mother "Mom" until I was pretty much an adult, when she insisted on it and I got tired of arguing about it. I still call her either by her first name or I say "my mother" when not speaking directly to her, instead of "Mom". My father I started calling "Dad" a little earlier than that, when he turned into a person I liked and could respect.
@joodzki6 (596)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
well, i guess it depends on the strategy of parents, depending on how they want to be as much as open with they children. But for me, calling with mom and dad is always necessary for the children, that will help u in giving limitations between you as parent and them as children...and to serve respect as well.
But it will always depend on you still.
@jwsnoopy (74)
• China
28 Feb 08
I've never called 'Mom' at all in my mind just because my parents divorced when I was 1 year old. So in my mind, when I hear some guys called 'mom or mother' , I feel so sweet.
But now I even cannot say out the word 'mom' because I assume it as some words that refer to 'name-calling'. That sucks , right ?
@above31rubies (1863)
• United States
27 Feb 08
My kids call me mom. I don't think I would like it if they called me by my name. It is a respect thing for me, too, I think.
My husband adopted my girls when they were young. They call him dad (well, the younger one does...the older one doesn't anymore and that is a whole 'nother story) but we never pushed it either way- they just started doing it on their own and we let them.
