do i hate my sister??
By stormieda
@stormieda (7)
Malaysia
February 27, 2008 9:09am CST
my sister got married last year.n now, she is pregnant. im happy as im going to b an aunt.but at the same time, i hate to see her happy.she hvnt finished her study when she got married.she choose her own man. but for me, everything hv been arranged from my family.even the man that will marry.she always get what she wants and i just pick up and use all the things that she doesnt want anymore.i feel that this is all unfair.i cant be with the one that i love.n i cant say no to my family.i hv always be a good girl.keeping good grades.but that doesnt seem enough for my family.they want to control my entire life.why cant i be just like my sister??does this all mean that i hate my sister??
7 responses
@djmarion (4898)
• Philippines
27 Feb 08
in my opinion you dont hate your sister, rather you envy her guts to do the things she really wants and find the man she really loves. sometime we tend to do everything to please our unpleasable parents and forget all about our feelings and our own life. this is a common problem to everyone actually.
living your own life's decision does not mean disobeying your parents. you should know the boundary of being a good daughter and being a puppet. a good daughter pleases her parents but not to the extend of doing all the things even forgetting your own happiness. you need to stand up once in a while to what you think is right.
@abby0210 (95)
• United States
6 Mar 08
I couldn't agree more! Trying to live up to someones unreal and unfair expectations is ludacris. You should voice your feelings to your parents and if your parents have any respect for you at all they will listen. I have a friend whose parents are like this. The girl is 27 years old but for some reason her parents think they can control every aspect of her life. It makes me even more mad when she lets them do it. She is and adult and has a say in what direction her life is going to go in. No wonder you are envious of your sister life. Obviously there is something your sister had done to be able to choose her own path through life - maybe you should try following in her footsteps?
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 08
I don't think that you hate your sister. I feel that that you are just jealous of her situation and unhappy about your situation. Life is not always fair and it is nice that you have always been a good girl. It is wonderful that your sister chose her own man to marry. Why can't you marry the man you are in love with? Being an aunt is enjoyable so you have this to look forward to. I think parents do want to control on of their children more than the others. One of my friend's parents treated her totally different to her two brothers. I suggest writing a list of how you want your life to change and discuss this politely with your parents.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
27 Feb 08
similar to my experience also when my sister got secret marriage. i got mad to my sister, i promise to myself that i will not reconcile our dispute until the end of time...but time comes we can't resist the urge to do some good things to my sisters...and now we have a good relations together with her family.
@angelkitten (38)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I think you are clearly frustrated about your situation and maybe even jealous. Are you truly stuck in your situation with no way out? Maybe its possible to talk to your family and share your feelings? I understand different families have different values and priorities, but I think you should follow your heart.
I wish you good luck!
@dtroas (479)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Hate is such a strong word. I do not believe you hate your sister. But maybe it is time for you to try to make yourself happy, then to worry about making everyone else happy. It is your life you only get to live it once. Do not marry a man that you do not love. Stand up for yourself. I know is some parts of the world that is how it works. ( not sure where you are from)
But just remember one thing. You can go through life trying to make everyone around you happy, and live sad, or you can decide that you are going to live life for you.
Hope it all works out for ya.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I don't think you hate your sister. I think you hate the situation that you are in and you are a little jealous of your sister because she doesn't have to go through the same stuff you do. I'm sorry that your situation is so bad.
