How much smarter is your mother now that you have had your own kids?

Actually...no. I think I joked once about almost feeling like I should call and apologize. She laughed. I never put them through anything close to what my daughter was putting us through, though. Yes, I am a lot like my mom and I am seeing how damaging it was to me and how damaging it is to my kids when I see her treat them in that way. To change that behavior is something I work on diligently everyday. I saw a saying once: Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all. lol.

You know, I do not have any kids yet. However, in a way I know what you mean, well maybe not completely, but I have an idea. This happens to me when I babysit my younger siblings. I mean they are so bad. My younger brother, he is only 4, especially is the ring leader. It is as if he does not know the word stop or no. It just robs me of my patience. I just reflect back on how I used to be a kid and how my parents would be very patient with me even though I made the lives of my parents a living hell. All I can do is just stare in awe of how I used to be like my younger siblings and think about all the problems I caused my parents -Feel Free to Disagree!

Yeah, my mum probably got a big laugh when she heard me talking to my son the way she did when I was little! LOL! Everyday, I marvelled at the way i am becoming more and more like my mum. Well, that just goes to show that is indeed a a very smart woman! LOL

I would not neccessarily say that my mom was the smartest or that I would do the same in her shoes. For instance she smoked during all of her pregnancies, smoked in the car with us, smoked in the house with us... My little brother had constant breathing problems and the doctor told her time and again to stop smoking around him but she didn't. It wasn't until I moved out of the house in 1996 and they bought a brand new house that she stopped smoking inside. My brother was 14 by then. We didn't have to wear seatbelts in the back seat. I clearly remember her saying that she would not wear a seat belt at all until they made it a law. My dad on the other hand, would not move the car until we were all buckled in. My mom did do some things that I would get mad at her about (but I think she was influenced by my dad). Things like, not letting me go visit my boyfriend who was in the military and lived a state over. I was 16 and 17 years old. I was SO mad! I realize now how right they were, but at the time I thought they were mean and ridiculous! I am much more like my father than my mother though. He was the strict one. They balanced eachother out well.

I have apologized to my mother several times since having my own kids. I don't have a teenager yet, but I do have a 12yr old step daughter and she says and does things I used to do. I have 3 kids and my mother had 4. I feel more appreciative of my mom now than I ever did. One good thing is she will give me insight on situations and help me deal with them. She tells me what worked for her with me and my siblings and what didn't. I love my mom so much.

..Wouldn't it be great if we could have a manual with our children when they were born..but life would be pretty uneventful. I know what you mean although I haven't got teenage children yet. I am conscious of this I really think it's important to be part of their lives their frineds music etc so I can be part of what they are thinking..perhaps I may be setting myself up for a fall. I agree with you entirely, are moms did a great job which unfortunately we don't appreciate until we are older.

I realize that my morther was pretty smart. I am very much like my mother and my kids act the same way. I have told my mom, that I realize what I put her through and how stupid I was.

My mom is the best mom in the world. You will never hear her complain about anything at all..nothing.. nada...even when she's hurting she never complain...When I was young I felt sorry for my mom for all the work she's doing for all of us. I have 5 sisters and 3 brothers. I am the youngest..yet I learned to help her in my own little way. When she's hanging clothes, washing them or folding them .I do my best to help her out. When we go to the market even if she doesn't want me to carry anything I still grab a bag and carry it for her even if it's so heavy..She asks me if I want anything but I don't ask for anything. I am a mom now of 5. I can't say I am exactly like my mom but I tried to be. I still visit my mom and give her hugs, kisses and gifts and tell her stories about me and my family. I love my mom so much I wouldn't trade her for another..not even for my mother in law..;P

oh so true! I had one girl in particular that was so much like I was as a teen. She was the one that had me up and pacing at night sick with worry and frustration. ya, I sent my mom an appology card. Funny how that works.

I only remember 2 things my mom said to me. Oh, she "taught" me things like sewing and crafts and housework etc, but only 2 things do I remember her telling me to help me in life...so to speak. When I was in about 6th/7th grade, give or take, i had trouble with my adidtion tables (now the kids don't memorize the tables, they are "groups" they add in - weird, i can't figure it!) but anyway, I had trouble with the 9's. Adding 9+ anything especially 9+5 and over. Mom told me that if you take "one" away from the smaller number, and "add" it to the 9, that would give you 10 and then the smaller number you are left with is easy to add to 10. LIke 9+7..take 1 away from 7 and add it to 9 to get 10 and the smaller number is now 6 and 10+6=16. Worked like a charm!! I stll add 9's that way! Second thing is when we moved from Ohio to Ca just after I graduated High school, Dad quit the company he created and worked for 10 years and finally sold it and we moved to CA for him to start over.. and I had to leave my boyfriend...of course I went on about it all and mom finally yelled at me "....we can't live on love! It won't pay the bills!" Now years later, boy was she right and boy do I understand and boy am I sorry i gave her such a hard time about the move!

I thanked my mom for being a complete and total screw up and teaching me exactly what NOT to do to my kids. So I would have to say I am ten million times smarter than my mother ever was. She used to tell me when I was little "there isn't anything you can do that I haven't done" Boy was she right and after seeing the mess she made of her life I'm glad I never tried.

It is true, you grow up thinking your mum is a party pooper, a meanie, horrible and whatever else comes into mind. But its only when you have grown up, you realise that what they did was for your own good. It took me a long long time to think of it like that. When I had my own children even then I was determined to not be like my mum and dad, I am like them but in a different way, I am not as strict as my mum and dad were with me but I am strict in a different way if you know what I mean. But I do realise that my mum and dad only tried their best and I did not appreciate what they did at all, in fact I was a little horror to them and I feel dreadfully bad for all I did. It makes it worse because parents never hold anything against you! Mine never held anything against me, the same as I never hold anything against mine. So we do grow up to be like our parents even though we intend not too, but just in a different way!

Well when my mom was around she was right some of the time. Then she left me and my sisters for 7 years with nothing and a drunk father to look after us. Looking back shes no better then what I thought back then. Everything she taught us meant nothing due to the fact of being a hypocrit. I feel she was right in a few small things. Make sure you brush your teeth and things like that. I hated it when I was a kid but I realize you have to keep them brushed.

I used to think that my mum was a controll freak and that she worried way to much, never letting me stay out late and when I was young I always thought that I was in controll. However since having my own children I have now come to realise that I am just like her if not worse and i think thats because I know what I done when I was younger and therfor I will not be letting my kids et away with the things I did. I actually love being so much like my mum, I realy relate to her now and can have some overwhelmig discussions that make me realise just how lucky I am.

My mom and I did not get along much during my teen years. So much, in fact, did we disagree that I chose to move halfway across the country to live with my dad. I thought that she was always way to into my business and it made me so mad. Now that I am older and I have four kids of my own, I appreciate my mom a whole lot more than I did. Now granted, my children aren't teenagers yet. I have another eight years before I have to worry about any of them being teenagers. I'm sure I will be calling my own mother often enough to apologize to her once they hit their teens, but I do have gone through the process of calling my mom to apologize to her about certain things. For example, I never used to appreciate finances. We would go to the store and I would ask her to buy me something. She would tell me she didn't have the money to buy it and I would argue with her that she must have the money because she was in the store buying things. Now that I have kids of my own I understand what the differences is between having money for the things you need and having money for the things you want. She only had money for the things we needed and occasionally for the things we all wanted. I have now gone through this process with my own kids, having to explain to them that I don't have money for something they want. As soon as I did that, my old habits ran through my head and I called my mom as soon as I got home and told her I was sorry for doing that and that I understood she was telling me no, not to be mean, but because she really didn't have a way to buy me what I wanted. I told her thank you for providing the things I needed in life and that I loved her. So I too have an understanding and an appreciation towards my mother that has been enlightened from having children of my own.

I do agree that when you have children you do Understand your Mother more. I see alot of difference in me then what I did mom. I am not afraid to let my kids be kids. I understand that children, teenagers, they are growing and they need to learn. Just as I did. Plus I do not want to have the same situation there that me and my mother had. I want a closeness to my children, Which at this time I do have. Do not get me wrong it is not one of those things that I want to just be a friend. NOPE i am mother and they respect me for that. But to answer your question yes I have apologized to Mother for somethings that I did when I was a teenager. But like you said we laugh about it and went on.