my dad wanted me to become...

hi heart143, i can totally relate to your discussion. my father has influenced me in the course i am taking up now too. even though we are 3 siblings he has never forced my sister to take up what he wanted her to take up. and he didnt do the same thing to my younger brother. he left it to me. haha.. and so as you nicely put it, being young, innocent and a good child, i followed his orders. but with the good luck you had in heeding your fathers advice, it is a misfortune to me. for i, even though i took up the course, ive always felt it wasnt the place for me, and what he wanted me to be was just not me, and so i kept taking the course with a heavy heart. even though i made friends, learning some of the subjects were always half heart felt and at times difficult for me to understand. probably also becasue its half heartly done. at that time i felt that if i truly say no to my father it would be very devastating to him and i just couldnt face the fact that i did that. ugh. what a painful feeling, to be duty bound to what he wants and to be torn in wanting to say no and obeying. so in making a decision on the course a child wants to take in college, it would be much better for the person who will take it up be the one to decide. after all, it isnt our parents who will be taking the classes and answering the exams it would be us. a parent can only do so much in raising their children. and parents making decisions for their child is not one of them unless they are sought after by the child. for me, a parent can only guide the child into the courses he wants, but the final say should have to be the childs decision, whether the parent would want it or not.

Its the responsibility of the parents to guide their children for a good. As in your case your father was giving you an advice based on his experience and expectations. And as a good child you have obeyed his wish and came out through it with flying colors. Congrats! I want to add some more things here, parents want best out of their children. And sometime force them (children) to pursue a course in which children has no aptitude/interest at all. I think a through discussion here is required. First tell the children about the course he should chose, do a through discussion, if then it is feasible get your child admitted at it. After all it is his child who has to pursue that course. Any way, it is a nice topic. Have a good day.

the parents might suggest a good course but the decision should be come from you because you will be the one passes the consequences with regards to the course no one will be blame if it will not succeed...at first it is very difficult but you will learn from it later...sometimes suggestion of a parents is favorable because they know the trend of our economic society...so think about the suggestion they tell you so good decision will be made.

Since I was a child, my dad really wanted me to study on our country's "top university". He also wanted me to take a course that would make me a lawyer. But I also knew that being a lawyer is quite far from the real cry of my heart. So I talked to my dad and told him about the the course that I really wanted to pursue. He was disappointed but nevertheless he still granted me his approval

my father also influenced me to took up a computer science course. at first, i don't have any idea what that course is all about as i'm having a hard time making some programs that are out of my knowledge

I followed my mom's decision and it was misery.It is good as a parent to guide the child and give advices. My mom wanted me to be a doctor. I went all the way to university but realize i hate it with a pure passion. As I lost interest in science, my grades went down and I couldn't go any further. I forced myself into but the book was dread open in front of me and my mind was elsewhere. I just couldn't go anymore. I was saturated of DNA and all the molecules. I wasted 2 years and university was expensive. I blame a bit myself for not going into what i wanted. Anyway, I am now in actuary a.k.a mathematicien and I am feeling more comfortable with it. It is my first year in that program and I am taking summer courses to finish faster. I suggest you give advice to your children but not being to pushy. It your child's fate ends up like mine, she/he would probably blame hiself and the parent as well.

It was my brother in my case.. There was nothing as such that someone wanted me to become what i am.. When i was a kid i had an ambition of becoming an engineer( a hardware engineer though at that time) but as time passed by.. My elder brother got into the line of softwares.. He struggled a bit since he did not had any degree but he cleared his way through perfection.. He works in a software company abroad.. Similarly it was my cousin brother who is just one year elser to me .. He went into the same line with a degree. So my ambition kept changing .. By the time i came into graduation i did my engineering but in a different stream..That was my decision all together.. But now again i m working in a software company.. as a software engineer.. So my ambition was purely guided by experience.. No one forced me to be what i am.. But i learnt under the guidance of my elder brother and he is my role model..

It seemed that you enjoy with your job now... its nice because you give your effort and serious to finish your course that your father chose. For me, my father never ask me to become what he wants, he give me freedom to choose the best course for me... my mom is sometimes strict, sometimes she said that its ok for other course, but in other time, she will ask me to proceed to medicine. I'm now taking my medical laboratory program, and if i really interested to proceed to medicine, then i will enroll in medical school. Anyway, i still have 2 years left, and i always thinking about it. To become a physician is not my 1st dream. My 1st dream is musician or an artist, i love music and serious with them. I do also interested so much in house and interior design, and make sketch for clothes... i like arts! My 2nd dream is to become a physician. its just because i also interesting in science, diseases, and treatments. My mother has sickness, so i really need to help her, doing my best not only to help her but also the beloved person of other family. I really want to make them happy and proud of me. I think my 2nd dream can be reached and continued when i already finish my parents' dream.... that's all i wanna say. have a nice day!

i always think my father's decision is right and good for me,so i always heeded him.But now i very regret why did i heed him when i took up in college.i don't like my major at all now,my major is Business English.Because i don't like learn english.^^

It should be down to the child, a parent can only make suggestions and offer support. Even if the parent knows they are right they should just offer the advice, but the final decision should be the childs. I have a 16 year old who leaves school in a few weeks and he has recently decided if he was going to college, and what he was going to do. I talked with him about it and made some suggestions but ultimately the final decision was his, after all its his life not mine. He made his choice and he starts in September.

You. You are the one who will study and not them. But since you are a good child their choice became yours its a good thing it worked out well or else you will blame them for making the wrong choice.

In my personal opinion, I think it's the child's decision to make on what course he/she should pursue in college. I know parents mean well when they suggest courses for their children to take up, but actually pushing them to take up something that they don't really have any interest in is not really advisable. After all, it is the child who will be sitting in class, staying up late at night to study all throughout the four or five years and not the parents. What more if he/she was only forced into it?

I think you should make your own choics, I know your dad wanted the best for you; but you should decide as YOU go through it not him. My dad also strongly recommends me to study in medical fields, but that's not what I am interested in and biology is not really my talent..=) I want to study business and that's what I like and talented in. If you are talented and interested in a certain field, I'm sure you will success in it; since you have that motivation inside you to improve your performance. Also it brings better grades. I am not talented in science and my grades are so-so, but in business/economics studies my grade are much better. With better grades you can reach better jobs. =)

What did you want to study? Well, if you reached the top, no problemo i guess..hehe..may be you are multitalented..so mo matter what you choose, you'll succeed..congrats then..haha..=)

i think many people say the same tune. most cases they take the course chosen by parents. i decided mine myself. i have also succeded in it. i am well employed too.

you forgot to tell us your course dear! parents have great influence over the steps their children take. oftentimes parents force us to take a course we don't like to and not wanting to bring them down we ended up following them although we have other course to take in our minds. i don't know what the other people's view about this issue but as a would be mother in the near future i promise not to get in the way of my children when it comes to taking up a course. i believe that their life should not be like a puppet and they should follow their own will. i will only be there in case they need advice and i will support them on any course they want.

The child should make his/her own decision as to what course to take in college. I have a daughter who is already preparing to herself for her college. As parents, it is our responsibility to guide her and give her suggestions as to what course would be good for her to take in college. We discuss these things lengthily. She has so many questions. She is aware of her skills and talents, but she also takes in consideration the courses that she likes and feels that would lead her to good opportunities in the future. The final decision is all hers. As parents we will respect and support her decision because we know that if she takes what she loves doing best, it will be the best for her future.

the children should choose the course but first the parents should provide guidance to their child in choosing one. Eventhough my father suggested to me to take up political science leading to law, i took up engineering. But he still supported my decision, I finished it and now i have my own career and i am proud of what i have achieved. My parents are also happy about the pooutcome of my decisions.

of course..so u r not only talented but also hard working and assidous..five thumbs up!..=)