I want a wife...
By foxyfire33
@foxyfire33 (10005)
United States
March 4, 2008 2:21pm CST
No this isn't about the alternative relationship s/o and I considered in better days...I just mean I want someone around to treat me the way I treat everyone else. Someone to fold my clothes when I forget, make me dinner when I'm tired, let me sleep an extra hour just because. Someone who will remember to ask me how my day was and at least pretend to care when I answer. Someone to go shopping with...
I'm guessing a lot of SAHM's feel this way too. Maybe there should be more SAHM groups out there to do just that for each other. If we all banded together I bet life would be a lot easier. They do say it takes a village to raise a family.
You know, when we look back at the way our grandmothers and great grandmothers did things it seems like they had it all so much harder...no automatic washing machines, no dishwashers, meals were always made from scratch plus they still had time to mend the clothes, make quilts and tend to gardens AND they still had time to just relax on their front porches with a glass of lemonade on summer nights!
So I think we all need an extra wife or two around to accomplish everything and still have time to enjoy being a SAHM. I mean think about it, we stay home to spend time with our children while they're little but end up spending the majority of that time on housework...doesn't really make sense does it!
4 people like this
11 responses
@betsyraeduke (2670)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Great discussion foxy! I agree 100%. There are so many times when I think it would be so nice if I had a helping hand around; and it would be so appreciated too! I think SAHM's everywhere could truly benefit from this.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
5 Mar 08
I wonder why this whole business of SAHM's doing it alone and isolated got started in the first place? I mean for years and years families where extended and multigenerational and it was common for neighbors to help especially when there was a new baby. Now even dads barely get enough time off to help a new mom after they're kicked out of the hospital...and we wonder why society has gone down hill.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
4 Mar 08
You know what I think? Are Grandmothers has daughters who they had to teach to do things, so that is how they got most things done..Today, I can barely get my daughter to do anything, so at 18, she has minimal amount of work she does, I can only hope and pray when she is on her own that she can keep her house somewhat clean and not let it all go..lol
Anyways, you are right, we need more sahm's groups, but unfortunately if I get this job I would no longer be one..:(
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
5 Mar 08
I totally agree that children were 'trained' differently in the past. Helping around the house wasn't even questioned it was just the normal thing to do.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
5 Mar 08
I have to agree with you on this one Foxy.. I think everywhere should have a lot of groups for stay at home moms to go to. Here we have a few. Mostly for women who are low income, or financially needy, which i am! lol. I go to a few of them but where i babysit sometimes its hard to go to all of them.. Plus we all know about dragging along small children in the winter, with no vehicular goes.. more work then its worth really isn't it!
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
5 Mar 08
haha oh i know especially since they wanna put all that stuff on themselves everytime. oh my. i get frusterated watching! lol. So sometimes i jsut let her play with her boots and jacket so she can practice when we are not in a rush. Good thinkin huh ? *wink wink*
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
5 Mar 08
Ugh I know! I think that's the only thing I like about summer....I put their shoes on, grab a few diapers and we're out the door. None of this coats, hats, gloves, blankets nonsense. My son's preschool is 5 miles away and I swear it takes us longer to get ready to go than it does to drive there!
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
4 Mar 08
That is so true...I often look back now and wonder how Grandma was able to do all of the stuff that she did..I know that she also had a few of her grndkids around all of the time..just like I do...but it seemed that she was able to get us to do things for and with her that my grandkids just don't do without the back-talking, argueing, or whining...
The only flaw that I see with your proposed alternative relationship...would be if she had children too...LOL
For me, there just are not enough hours in the day to do the things that I want to get accomplished at times...I know that I keep way later hours than Granny ever did...ummmm..wonder if her not having a computer and Internet had anything to do with her time management skills...hehehe
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
5 Mar 08
Ahh...yes the second wife having children could pose a problem! Unless they were all well mannered and helpful teenagers...lol, do they even exist anymore?
And I think you're on to something with the computer reaking havoc on our time management skills...maybe I should go pick up some toys...
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Yeah, wouldn't that be nice. Though I'm not a stay at home mom, I work at least 50 hours a week. It would be nice to come home to a clean house and a home made meal.
I think children these days are involved in more extracurricular activies, which SAHM are more involved with being the taxi driver!
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
5 Mar 08
Yeah you sound like you need a wife too! It's hard enough to do it all as a SAHM I can't imagine having a 50 hour a week job on top of it!
@SukiSmiles (1991)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Ha, ha, ha. I've had this discussion before with some of my girl friends. We're all so busy, some of us married and some single moms, but we all agree - we need some extra help. Someone to do that load of laundry or wash those dishes so we could spend some extra time with our kids or on our hobbies.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
5 Mar 08
Hobbies? what are they lol...are they those things we wish we could do if only we had more time?
@guss2000 (2232)
• United States
22 Mar 08
I'm a SAHM, and after reading your post-- YES! I do want a wife!
I do all of the cooking, cleaning, kid taking care of, bill writing, check book correcting, weeding, laundry.... everything associated with the house. Sometimes it would be nice for someone to take care of my messed for like a day. Just one day!
TOday would be a good day for that since it's my birthday--- but I'm already looking forward to a fun filled day of cleaning, as usual.
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
5 Mar 08
lol I hear you! As long as my husband didn't sleep with my wife. ;)
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
5 Mar 08
HAHA! Now that wouldn't be fair would it!? If you can have 2 spouses why can't he? lol
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
5 Mar 08
He can have a husband. Then he'd understand why I get so annoyed with him sometimes. :)
@idaantipolo (472)
• Philippines
5 Mar 08
Maybe, yeah...at times I am very busy, and I don't get to clean up my room for weeks and it's starting to look like a dog house...sometimes, I want to eat a real home-cooked meal, but I'm, too tired to cook so I just order out.
@scanzhizhi (66)
• China
5 Mar 08
haha!my english is so poor that i have not got the mean of "SAHM",can you tell me please?thanks!howerver,i understand your meaning of this discussion because i want a wife too.i am a postgraduate student in china,i have come across a befitting girl who can live with me for a long time.i wish the befitting girl will come out soon!
@Jabsfreelanceworld (191)
• United States
5 Mar 08
I have a boyfriend that is better than a wife (and I am female, and I assume you are.) He cooks, cleans, does laundry and so on. In fact, I feel ashamed that some things he does better than me.
I always wanted to be like the traditional wife and mother. But maybe I am just not cut out for that. I do love children though and I definately know I am good for that.
Off Topic (Responding to other thoughts you expressed):
And that SAHM group sounds like an interesting opporunity. I would definately like to hear more about it. I was considering finding a village to raise a child if my bf decides he does not want me any more LOL.
I am at a serious crossroad in my life. I am 34 and not married, and not even living with my man yet.
(I am having issues with him in some ways, as he seems to want to undermine my self-confidence at times. He never really gave me much of a chance not even in the beginning of our relationship.)
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
5 Mar 08
Wow...you said a lot without saying a lot if that makes sense...
First you sound like you have a rare man. Mine can't even figure out how to put his dirty clothes in the hamper, I'd be scared of what he might do if he tried to use the washer!
Second, I think I fall into the same category as you...I really want to be the traditional wife and mother but I'm just not cut out for it. I do well to a point but then I slack off because I really just want to play and have fun with the kids.
My thoughts on a SAHM group would be at least 7 women who gather together for 'grown up time', cook large batches of meals to share/trade with the other members, and trade off babysitting duties and housework (like I really hate laundry but love organizing and 'soap and water cleaning' so I'd do that for another mom and she'd come do my laundry). Maybe they could also team up for errands and such. I say at least 7 women, thinking that there are 7 days of the week so that would make it easier to distribute the work load.
Finally...your last comment disturbed me only because I know all too well about that kind of relationship. He might be a great guy in a lot of ways but it doesn't sound like he's good for you. I know you didn't ask for my opinion and I've bitten a few heads off myself over unsolicited advice but I wanted to say something. From just the one post of yours I've read you sound like a really nice person who doesn't deserve to have a guy undermine her!
