Our very first suspension

She is 9 years old When she got home she had no idea why everyone was so mad at her. I asked her to explain to me what happened and she just looks at me with a blank stare and shrugs her shoulders... then she goes on and on about having no friends!

Wow! Well instead of getting upset at this comment, I'm just going to say you don't know the history so it's ridiculous that you would judge me so unfairly. When children have disabilities or have special needs, being harsh towards the parents is what causes a lot of the problems, not the parenting itself! Now if my other (older) child was as wild or had the same issues, I might consider your suggestion to point the finger at myself. If I was such a horrible parent, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been accepted to work as respite worker :) I will not believe in a million years that your children have never had a tantrum or never got their own way! Please!

I'm sorry Momma I must say something here . BareHugs, How incredibly uninsightful of you. If you have followed anything on her discussion forum you would see that her daughter has been diagnosed with a disability. DID YOU READ THAT..DISABILITY.. Ahdh/ADD is a disability where I child can have symptons of many things. Here are some things you should read before passing judgement on a parent and placing blame on them for something that is a medical condition.. http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/symptom.htm What Are the Symptoms? ADHD used to be known as attention deficit disorder, or ADD. In 1994, it was renamed ADHD and broken down into three subtypes, each with its own pattern of behaviors: 1. an inattentive type, with signs that include: inability to pay attention to details or a tendency to make careless errors in schoolwork or other activities difficulty with sustained attention in tasks or play activities apparent listening problems difficulty following instructions problems with organization avoidance or dislike of tasks that require mental effort tendency to lose things like toys, notebooks, or homework distractibility forgetfulness in daily activities 2. a hyperactive-impulsive type, with signs that include: fidgeting or squirming difficulty remaining seated excessive running or climbing difficulty playing quietly always seeming to be "on the go" excessive talking blurting out answers before hearing the full question difficulty waiting for a turn or in line problems with interrupting or intruding 3. a combined type, which involves a combination of the other two types and is the most common Although it can often be challenging to raise kids with ADHD, it's important to remember they aren't "bad," "acting out," or being difficult on purpose. And children who are diagnosed with ADHD have difficulty controlling their behavior without medication or behavioral therapy. What Causes ADHD? ADHD is not caused by poor parenting, too much sugar, or vaccines. ADHD has biological origins that aren't yet clearly understood. No single cause of ADHD has been identified, but researchers have been exploring a number of possible genetic and environmental links. Studies have shown that many children with ADHD have a close relative who also has the disorder. Although experts are unsure whether this is a cause of the disorder, they have found that certain areas of the brain are about 5% to 10% smaller in size and activity in children with ADHD. Chemical changes in the brain have been found as well. Recent research also links smoking during pregnancy to later ADHD in a child. Other risk factors may include premature delivery, very low birth weight, and injuries to the brain at birth. Some studies have even suggested a link between excessive early television watching and future attention problems. Parents should follow the American Academy of Pediatrics' (AAP) guidelines, which say that children under 2 years old should not have any "screen time" (TV, DVDs or videotapes, computers, or video games) and that kids 2 years and older should be limited to 1 to 2 hours per day, or less, of quality television programming. What Are Some Related Problems? One of the difficulties in diagnosing ADHD is that it's often found in conjunction with other problems. These are called coexisting conditions, and about two thirds of all children with ADHD have one. The most common coexisting conditions are: Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Conduct Disorder (CD) At least 35% of all children with ADHD also have oppositional defiant disorder, which is characterized by stubbornness, outbursts of temper, and acts of defiance and rule breaking. Conduct disorder is similar but features more severe hostility and aggression. Children who have conduct disorder are more likely get in trouble with authority figures and, later, possibly with the law. Oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder are seen most commonly with the hyperactive and combined subtypes of ADHD. Mood Disorders (such as depression) About 18% of children with ADHD, particularly the inattentive subtype, also experience depression. They may feel inadequate, isolated, frustrated by school failures and social problems, and have low self-esteem. Anxiety Disorders Anxiety disorders affect about 25% of children with ADHD. Symptoms include excessive worry, fear, or panic, which can also lead to physical symptoms such as a racing heart, sweating, stomach pains, and diarrhea. Other forms of anxiety that can accompany ADHD are obsessive-compulsive disorder and Tourette syndrome, as well as motor or vocal tics (movements or sounds that are repeated over and over). A child who has symptoms of these other conditions should be evaluated by a specialist. Learning Disabilities About half of all children with ADHD also have a specific learning disability. The most common learning problems are with reading (dyslexia) and handwriting. Although ADHD isn't categorized as a learning disability, its interference with concentration and attention can make it even more difficult for a child to perform well in school. If your child has ADHD and a coexisting condition, the doctor will carefully consider that when developing a treatment plan. Some treatments are better than others at addressing specific combinations of symptoms. Ok after you read all of this and if you still blame her than you need to go back into parenting classes and need a little reeducation. MOMMA, Sorry But I Hate When Ignorant People Make Judgements.

Not a problem hun :) In my response, I did not go into details about her needs but she had been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and I'm still convinced we're dealing with bipolar as well. She's been on anti-psychotic meds since the incident and things are REALLY calm right now... watch me do the happy dance! Barehugs, I hope you do follow these replies and understand! If you still wish to pass judgement, that's your business but very unfair! In the end, parents must do what they have to do to survive the stress, even if that means to pour out their frustrations on public forums and risk judgement. I do want to add that yes I do believe add/adhd is often misdiagnosed. With my experience, if the child truly is plagued with such a disability, symptoms would be apparent since birth or very early on in life. ADD/ADHD isn't something that happens overnight. My daughter has been a handful since conception... now a lot of people chuckle when I say that but I have the medical file to prove it. I went through 4 labours during my pregnancy, thankful that doctors were able to keep everything under control until it was safe for her to arrive. As a baby she cried more than most, NEEDING to be in MY arms, no one elses. If she wasn't in my arms, she was in the same room. Do you know how heartbreaking it is to leave a 4 month old baby with a babysitter and they call you not even an hour later telling you to pick up the demon child? Don't tell me that my parenting was so bad that I created a demon child within 4 months! Unfortunately, I heard those very same words many many times from different other people. Public school has been quite a challenge. Unfortunately, because people like you pass judgement (and work in the school system) we are slowly losing this battle. My child's education is suffering because people fail to see her needs and expect her to behaviour like every other little 9yr old. They neglect the doctor's notes in her file explaining she is emotionally, socially and intellectually behind about 2 yrs. They neglect the fact that my daughter's schedule needs to be altered to fit her needs. They neglect her cues when she tells them she needs a time out. All because of judgement. It's a true sin.

I don't believe the adults in the school system care about my daughter. She is the problem child of the school and I'm sure they would all be too happy to get rid of her HOWEVER I sense a fear of failure among them as well. I've told them time and time again I want this school year to work out. Every year so far, I've had to pull her out in March because no one, including my daughter can handle it anymore. My 9 yr old is in grade two (repeated grade one) and is miserably failing. Should she repeat grade two? I don't think so. I was very adamant with the school system for her to repeat grade one (because they don't believe in keeping a child back here) but I'm not going to encourage the possibility of repeating another grade. In my opinion, she is failing only because the system is failing to meet her needs. If they would listen to me, to my daughter, to the letters in the file, and support my daughter, then she could possibly enjoy school for once. Depending on their response next Friday will determine whether we pull her out or not. I was so strongly commited to keep her in school til June this year. I was going to try ANYTHING... even sitting in class with her on days she finds it difficult (wednesday and friday) but in the end, if the school doesn't do their part, it will never work out!

I can feel your pain I wish the school would be more for your daughter than for themselves. I'm so sorry that this is happening. I feel that the school and the pychiatrist are failing you. I hope that you and your husband can find someone that is for your daughter and that if you do go back to homeschooling things improve with her. Good luck and if you need to talk you have my email.

The purpose of the meeting was to bring in a psychologist to see my daughter because apparently that is the proper protocol... At the meeting, I found out that the district will not allow any special care for this school because it's a small school (in the country) If I want my daughter to have a TSS or a behaviour mentor, I have to move to the city. We are suppose to meet next Friday to discuss and develop a 'behaviour' management chart for my daughter. This is where I'm going to lay it all on the table and say THIS IS HER SCHEDULE THAT *YOU* MUST ALL FOLLOW. and if I get any flack, I'm pulling her out. I've made up my mind, my daughter is going to be first and if they can't handle that, then she doesn't belong there! I did phone her psych to notify her of the outburst and suspension. I got the voice mail, so I left a VERY detailed message with a request they call back and guess what? NOTHING!! So I'm done, I give up with the medical profession as well. I've been really busy all week studying and researching going all natural. I mentioned that she is now on meds and things are calm but once her prescription is done, I don't think I'm going to bother trying to renew it. I've been requesting additional help since our original chat and I'm getting no where with it. Hubby and I have discussed this over and over again and we truly feel that the best thing for her is to be around people who actually give a damn and if the school can show some sort of leaniance towards her needs, we're homeschooling. If the docs can't be bothered to be concerned, we don't need that stress. I am sooooo fed up!

I do! Thanks a million!