Spite
@Phaedra_Scythe (3325)
March 17, 2008 5:05pm CST
I'm talking about pettiness and deliberate sabotage. I'm talking about back-stabbing and self-indulgent malice.
I've suffered more than my share of it lately, but as angry and hurt as I am, I think there's more at stake. The temptation is to lash back, to pay back the favour. One someone hurts you, the natural reaction seems to hurt them back.
I believe that spite, once visited on the victim, may hurt deeply, but the effect on the person committing the vindictiveness is longer lasting. Once you invite that negativity in, you've created an inner ugliness that has a tendency to grow. You've maligned your spirit and it's more difficult to recover from.
I think the person who hurt me recently has a deep inner ugliness that's showing more and more. She may be hurting me a lot, but in the end it's her spite that's going to cause her life to falter.
I'm trying really hard to push away my anger and see the bigger picture, but it's not easy. I'm going to keep trying though.
4 people like this
8 responses
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
18 Mar 08
Yes, I think you are right. And it is hard to walk away from someone who is being mean or vindictive to us but from dealing with it both ways, i'd say the best way is to peacefully walk away. In the end, you will at least feel better about yourself knowing that you did nothing to add to the negativity. If you buy into it, you do really lower yourself to those standards and you will end up feeling bad about yourself in the end i think. stay tough.
1 person likes this
@Phaedra_Scythe (3325)
•
20 Mar 08
I'll try and stay tough, thanks. No one wins a war of spite really and at least by taking the moral high ground I haven't let them win.
@Phaedra_Scythe (3325)
•
22 Aug 10
I'd forgotten too. I'm trying to remember not to leave the others for three years next time! Still, better late than never!
1 person likes this
@Phaedra_Scythe (3325)
•
31 Aug 10
You know it's funny. This was a few years ago now, but I saw this person again for the first time in years only yesterday. We drove past them and I felt the bile rising, but I had to remind myself to let it all go again because I doubt they ever cared enough to feel bad over what they did to me, so I'm not going to let them have the power to upset me all over again. Thank you for your response. It's the perfect timing for a reminder on this subject for me.
I've heard they're moving away to another city soon, so with any luck, I'll never, ever see their faces again. 
@enchantedleppard (1541)
• United States
17 Mar 08
All I want to say to you is keep on pushing forward. If its one thing I've learned its to live and let live. Its a hard thing to do but you are a really cool person, you have a good heart and your energy needs to be directed to what it positive. I wish I could help you let it go. I will tell you that I've been there. And I know I'm not happy feeling this way. My thoughts are with you.
1 person likes this
@Phaedra_Scythe (3325)
•
20 Mar 08
Thank you. I haven't been on here because I've been trying to spend more time with my partner. He's going through the same thing and we're trying to stick together and be strong for each other. I don't want to give in to anger and ugliness. It just doesn't help. xxxx
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
29 Mar 08
I'm big enough to admit you are doing better with this than I am Phaedra.
I need to thank you for this post, this reminder. I have my own style and I do tend not to forget... but I've been getting a small feeling that my "forgive" part of the equation maybe diminishing.
I wish you the best with your quest Phae.
1 person likes this
@Phaedra_Scythe (3325)
•
30 Mar 08
I'm so glad you've found inspiration.
I think that wanting to be a better person is more than half the battle.
All the best to you dear.
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
28 Mar 08
You are a very good example of what more people should be like. I am being harrassed by a member here and I am staying away for her and not commenting back to her. I have reported it to mylot but so far nothing has been done about it. But I will stay as far away from her as I can. I don't want to have a fight with her or anyone else. I don't like conflict and I stay away from it. I avoid it. I am sorry you are going through what is bothering you, but you are handeling it very good as far as I think. Good luck to you.
1 person likes this
@Phaedra_Scythe (3325)
•
29 Mar 08
Well thank you. That's very kind. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If the person had a point to make, they're certainly negating it by resorting to bully tactics. Good luck to you too!
@adekay (1)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I strongly believe that a person should refrain involving to much "drama" from their life at once. In order to do that you have to choose very closely what really upsets you. I also think that some of the hardest things you go through can make you stronger and wiser. Not only for your self but people in your life as well.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
18 Mar 08
You know reading this you could be describing someone I know because all those words is how I would sum her up. It does hurt yes and I long to pay her back, she has an inner ugliness that shines so bright I cannot understand how no one else has seen it.
@Phaedra_Scythe (3325)
•
20 Mar 08
Yikes. Sounds exactly like the same person. I'm sorry you've had to meet someone like that too. Good luck with her and stay strong.
