Nursing Home

Andy Explain to mum that you are unable to see to her special needs now and that her being in a nursing home would benefit her so much more and in so many ways too. She probably pictures the nursing home as another hospital type of living - which to a degree it is but she will be with people of her own age, be able to have many friends to chat to, join occupational therapy clubs etc. You need to help her understand that you cannot be around her all day and that you would never be able to relax knowing she is at home without any help should the need arise. I suggest you take her to a nursing home so that she can see herself what it would be like to live there -let her meet a few of the residents too over a cup of tea or something. Promise her that you will visit her and spend time with her when she is there too. I work as a voluteer in old age homes and I understand the fear she may have too..There are so many old folks in these homes that get plonked in there and hardly ever see a family member..it makes them feel like they are 'throw away' people..so u need to stress to her that your visits will be frequent. Blessings to you and mum...here's hoping your problem will turn out just fine.

This is really difficult since It would break her heart. But the fact is this is something for her benefit. So I think she will understand. The best thing would be is to have someone from the hospital back you up when you tell her about the situation. Probably the nurse at the hospital who have a complete idea about the situation.

Thats so sad. As hard as its going to be, you're going to just have to come right out and tell her. Either that or shell out money to have a nurse at your house 24/7. She isn't going to like the idea, but she has to understand that her health is the most important thing.

This is so heartbreaking, and I don't want to sound insensitive to what you're experiencing; but the social worker doesn't have the right to make the final decision about this. She can say that's the recommendation, but she can't force it. Do you have other family that will help with her care? Does her insurance cover in-house nurses or nurse aides?

Awwwwwwe you're mother is so lucky to have you in her life. I'm saying that from the bottem of my heart! I work in 3 nursing homes and it's all the same with elderly people. All I can say is keep doing what you're doing, visit her everyday and listen to her talk because she needs you. I'm not sure if you understand that she does appreciate you very much but I know she does. It's better for you to explain as well as you can where she's going to live and talk about the positive things about it. I can imagine that she's dreading it but I would simply explain that it's for her own safety. It's better she understands it now before she goes in and be a little comfortable and familiar with the experience rather then her going into the situation blind folded. It's a very difficult adjustment to get use to. I notice that in all three places I work. After about 1 month most residents are more familiar with their new home. I can tell who cares about their family member who resides in the nursing homes and who doesn't. You I can tell care for your mother because you make the effort everyday to see her and just that there makes her feel like she's not alone, and what do elders fear most? Being alone. This is sad but some residents' family members tell us just to call them when their aunt, mother, or siblings die. I can't become to understand this and for those poor individuals I tend to spend more time with. Although it is really nice when we see other family members come in and visit with their relatives quite frequently. If it makes you feel any better, why don't you go into a nursing home and check it out? If you know which place she's being panneled for, take a day and go tour it. I'm sure the staff would be happy to guide you through it. I hope this helps you AndyJ Good luck

having recently gone through this with my father in law, you have my deepest sympathies. there are alternatives to nursing homes, such as home health care. call the elderly organizations in your area, and if you cant find any, call yer local town/city hall, they can point you into the right directions. most, not all unfortunately, home health care is covered by health insurance and medicare. i found with my father in law that the nursinghome people as well as hospital people will do their best to try to talk you out of and discourage you from having your loved one at home, but if it is what youd truly rather do, there are ways to do it. i, personally, decided not to as i have a small child and having her watch her grandfather that she loved so very much die.. wasnt an option. find as much informatin as you can regarding this, so you can make an informed choice, and dont just simply fall in line with what youve been told "needs" to be. thoughts to you, and best of luck.