Am I an over-reacting wife?
By TheLadyW
@TheLadyW (61)
United States
March 22, 2008 9:39pm CST
I had to have surgery on a finger that I had to be put out for. My husband drove me and my parents were going to pick me up. My husband had an hour to kill before he went to work. I thought he would come in and be supportive for me.
He told me to let him know if this was the right building of the medical center. It wasn't and I came out and showed him that I was going to the building next door. He was doing something in the car and so I went on. When he didn't come in, I looked in the parking lot and his car was gone.
I called his cell just to get the answering machine. I was so hurt and in tears--no kiss goodbye or "good luck".
He is on a new job and his excuse was that he was in a fog and distracted thinking about the new job. I will admit this is not typical of him, but..I hadn't had anesthesia or surgery in over 30 years.
He knew from my cell message that he was in the dog house and when he got home that night brought me flowers and apologized. I was still hurt.
Now it was just finger surgery, but I am out of work for ten days. Am I over-reacting? Should I just get over it?
I was there for his colonopsy.
Forgive maybe, but I probably won't forget.
Any thoughts?
5 people like this
8 responses
@mbs730 (2147)
• Canada
23 Mar 08
WOW I am sorry he did this to you and sorry you had to have the procedure done. I don't think you are over reacting at all!! Listen to my story, when I gave birth to my daughter my husband didn't even visit me the day after because the poor baby was sick and didn't sleep all night!! Well.. what about me???? And he was too tired to come and he didn't even call to say he wasn't coming, my mother was the one who said that he didn't. Then I later found out that he went with his mother to set up the baby's trust fund that day!! Not through him and he still doesn't admit it but I KNOW. I have never forgiven him for this... but he is trying to make things better in different ways, now listen I have not been an angel either with things but this as far as I am concerned one step down from having an affair. This was 6 years ago.. and sure things have watered down as time does that but I will never forgive him completely for this.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
23 Mar 08
I would have been upset to! My husband goes to all my major things, even if he has to miss work unpaid. My boss is like your husband. Te other day his wife need to get a scope done and instead of staying atthe hospital, he dropped her off and came to work! He has done that in the past and acts like it is no big deal. Sometimes he doesn't even go pick her up, one of her friends will take her home so that he is not inconvienced. Ugh!
2 people like this
@bonnielass (484)
• United States
23 Mar 08
someone that loves you just left you standing there after you had surgery..im sorry but something is up and it wasn't the fog...
you need to see what is up...something really does smell fishy..
im so sorry he left you standing there like that..how horrible and scary that must have been...i know ur grown and such but u just had surgery...u where tired and had meds...and knocked out..
(hug)
2 people like this
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
24 Mar 08
I don't think you are over reacting at all. You feel how you feel. I would be very upset if my husband was not there during a time like that for me. It may be minor surgery, but if it's a big deal to you, it should be a big deal to him. Don't let him off the hook too easily. Let him know why it hurt you so much, and hopefully he will understand and be there for you the next time you need him.
My husband has bee very supportive for me. I am very lucky to have him. He knows I get nervous about things and is supportive even if to him it wouldn't be a big deal.
1 person likes this
@kezabelle (2974)
•
23 Mar 08
I would be angry too hun, I had to have a biopsy on my kidney last year my youngest was only 9 months old but my partner arranged a babysitter and took time off to be there with me, he was with me until I went in and was there when I came out, then he went home to check on the children as I was worried about them.
He had to take care of me for the neek week as I was really ill after the biopsy if my partner had behaved as yours did id have been more than upset.
While he was in the wrong though it does sound like he was sorry so i would forgive and forget as long as he is aware how much he hurt you
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
29 Mar 08
You did not overreact at all. Job or no job, no one should be so distracted as to be in a fog, when someone close to them is going into surgery. Your husband should have been more considerate of what you were going through at that moment in time.
@just2crazygirlz (2479)
• United States
23 Mar 08
I would be upset too. I get my feelings hurt pretty easily though I think. I don't know what to tell you other than you are justified with being hurt. I hope that he understands there really isn't any excuse good enough for this. He knew what was going on and should have been focused on that.
