Do you think we should make our children tough?

My kids have to earn anything they get from me. I'm not going to spoil them. The last thing I want is to raise a Paris Hilton wannabee.

I'm not really sure if I have made my daughter tough or if she has made herself that way. I think she is a very strong girl and she can get through alot of things in stride, better than I ever could. I have tried to teach her the facts of life and show her what happens with everything to try and prepare her for her adult years. I think that has helped alot.

Wonderful strategy. I too believe that a balanced life style is always good because it would take care of ups and downs in life.My father earned with four hands when he was active but suddenly, he was struck by paralysis and his earnings ceased. [As a lawyer , you can rely only on your own savings and would not have any other fall back. A person of less calibre would have been shattered but my admirable mother managed efficiently with her frugal , well thought out ways and the savings grew and there was enough property left for the daughters too. She brought us all in a fairly similar mould and this helped me maintain my balance when my husband ventured on his own.There was no change in our life style and my son also was brought up in a somewhat similar manner. However, in his case there was no lack of books or toys that were essential for his emotional and intellectual wellbeing. He has his priorities and now after being the earning member of the family [despite his extremely rare and high qualification] he is quite simple and indulges well within his means. Upbringing plays a great part in the way we live and the peace of mind we have.We are taught to tone our desires and not fritter away money and know the proper value of money.Once I read an article that spoke of a top class renowned successful businessman of our nation.He said that he believed in instilling the value of money in his children. You would have read about Warren Buffet's style also and his attitude. If such great people follow this I feel we should all take a real lesson from them. You also seem to believe in it and it is great.

I would have to say yes, I have seen parents that shelter their children from everything and give them everything and when they get on their own they are lost. my daughter was working from the time she was 14 because she wanted a cell phone,then the car and so on. I have two 13 yr olds that mow's lawns, 16 yr old twins, one roofs during the summer the other welds and does farm work. an 18 yr old that is going to start landscaping and a 19 yr old that breaks horses. They know if they want something they have to work for it money doesnt grow on trees. They also learn if they do wrong they are going to pay the concequences, even if the toilet was just scrubbed, they will do it again if they get in trouble. If I get called to the school they will be doing that and dishes everyday for a week. I'm not sure if all of this is making them tough or if its making them responsible, although I would like to think the answer is both.

For me you have to train your kids in many ways and one of them is to become tough, and do what is right in the sight of God, and if they do something wrong they have to suffer the consequence. But right now my daughter is only 4 years old and my son is only 1 year old , I have to provied for their necessities, but I told them that when there already grown-up if they want something they have to earn for it and strive for their dreams and not just rely on their parents

I think there is a delicate balance in circumstances like these, I mean things can sometimes swing one way or the other and you have to find a happy medium, I had a tough upbringing, way too tough and because of that i tend to lean towards the pampering side more than the tough side, i say that but i do try to maintain a middle ground between the 2. My children are only 22 months and 3 years at the moment and we are stil finding our feet when it comes to things like that. I think i will take it as it comes, i mean i dont want them to be totally reliant on me when they are older and want them to stand on there own 2 feet. its a hard question lol

hi! I consider myself lucky that I wasn't wealthy when raising our children! As I know I could have spoiled them awfully.. as I know that my greatest tendency is to choose the path of least resistance! I'm afraid I never made them do chores, for example, as it was always so much easier to do them myself.. So I thank my lucky stars that no was often the answer anyway, because there just wasn't the money available! And they soon learned if they wanted something they had to work for it. And now they are strong at doing so..

Sometimes I think I taught my kids to be too nice. Being polite and kind is good, but you need a thick skin to get along well in the world, in my opinion. I did a lot of good things though to make them be self reliant. As they got older in school, they had to suffer the consequences of their actions - small things like, forget your lunch, I'm not bringing it, you're failing in a subject, you handle it with the teacher so you can play ball in the game next week, not me. Consequences for bigger stuff as well within reason. As for luxuries, they have in good, but not as spoiled as some for sure.

Yes when, growing up mom did not give me that much of luxury even though she has a jewelry shop. She would not give me that much money only what I need,she wouldn't buy any stuff that is not needed. She would make me earn that either good grade or doing chores. I really didn't like it since I knew back then that we were a bit well off. I won't do the same for my kids maybe just to let them know the value of hard work.=)