I have a question

a lot of them don't become jerks until a few months in.i had an ex that was sweet as pie until the 3rd month. then it was like he jumped out of a phone book and became "super a-hole" if you know what i mean..

I don't really know the answer to this because I've never had the tendency to choose "bad" men. Perhaps it's the element of excitement, or the challenge they present. Some women enjoy a challenge and certainly, a lot like a bit of excitement. So, maybe this is the reason. Brightest Blessings.

Sadly, this holds true to some. Just as some men fall and go head over heels for b*tches than nice girls:) I think it a psychological thing. Some people are drawn to personalities that needs fixing. Some are drawn to people who reject them. While the good ones are left available undiscovered and unappreciated. It's something unexplainable because only the ones concerned know how they really feel. But there are also relationship/personality websites that try to explain about this. Maybe you could do some reading there.

I think it is a good question to ask MrDanger2k8, as being a woman myself I have seen friends who do this and I am still at a loss to why. The are treated like absolute crap but still stay with them, and if they do leave them they end up with someone just as bad if not worse. But then there are some where the woman are as much A-holes as the blokes so it is great that they found each other!LOL But I have also seen the other happen, where a really great guy ends up with a woman that treats him like a door mat and has no respect for him or his needs but he worships her? I think it may be a self esteem issue for some where they dont think they deserve to be treated nicly so they go for blokes or women that treat them the way they think they deserve to be? I dont really know I have a great guy who isn't a A-Hole or a Jerk so I cant be sure why women would choose the other!

I just think sometimes people just go for the wrong things you know. I think that the society today is screwed up. People just want to use other people. People are always having different motives!!!

Okay the way I see it is that these jerks think they can have any women they want. They walk around with confidence, and are even a bit cocky, and that shows. Since confiednce is one of the most attractive traits to have, this makes alot of girls attracted to them. The nice guys usually do not feel as confident, therefore women do not notice them as much. So women usually have to date jerks before they realize what they have to look for to find a nice guy. My boyfriend is definately a nice guy, and he is fairly confident. But I have found myself attracted to jerks before, untill realizing what they were really like.

I think that tends to be the case when women are younger, it certainly was with me anyway and with a lot of other women I know. I think that a lot of it comes down to the challenge, as in "I'll be the one that straightens him out" sort of thing. Looks tend to play a big part in it too, I suppose we're inclined to put up with more nonsense if a guy is good looking. Then as we get older (and hopefully wiser!) we realise that there's a lot to be said for "nice guys".

You might be flamed by a clown or two but most people aren't like this. Even then you still have a right to ask this question, its valid. In fact this discussion has been done before and my answer is there. http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1424025.aspx For one thing it is a confidence factor. There is also an innate/biological factor in this facet of partner selection. The stronger looking males will be selected, they are wanted and they'll usually be kept despite glaring personality flaws. Basically the jerk presents more challenge due to lack of interest and women will question if something is wrong with them due to the reaction they receive. Some women also have confidence problems themselves and will see what went wrong when rejected by a "wanted" male. This variable is much worse when dealing with an abusive or indifferent relationship as there have been women who lack the confidence to leave. Now on to the nice guy connundrum. Like I've said before (in the other discussion), and like women claim: "nice is boring". Its stable, its loving, but to plenty of women its boring. Though not "right" to say, there are some women who like drama... who crave drama. The a**clowns and the jerks give this easily. For the former, it can be abuse, neglect, cheating. For the latter its stand up, neglect, lack of committment (or a combination from both lists). Think of some women and their stories, or posts on forums, or on blogs. With the nice guy its usually boring talk or talking to friends about how dull he is. With the craphead its talk about abuse, neglect, not keeping promises, cheating (and yet they stay with them). With the jerk its talk about getting ditched last night, not getting gifts, not being "romanced", one-night stands, etc.