how young is too young to get married?

United States
October 31, 2006 8:29pm CST
Is there an age? who gets to decide? I am 19 and planning on getting married sometime soon even though i havent graduated college yet and some people say i'm making a bad decision.
1 person likes this
33 responses
@The_Eagle_1 (1121)
• Australia
14 Nov 06
To young is when the two people have not got enough life skills to work together and still live single styles in the marriage! And are not responsible enough to get them before they get married!
• United States
14 Nov 06
Thank you for that very philisophical response. I had actually never thought of it on that level. Perhaps my next question would be then what do you consider to be a single lifestyle? I ask because I am a college student (not the drinking partying type but the type truly interested in a beneficial education) and he is an army soldier.
• Australia
14 Nov 06
They still need to keep their individuality but be at one with each other at the same time....this is why a good marriage doesn't just happen....it takes compassion, understanding, trust, loyalty, honour, appreciation, and a heap of love...
• Australia
14 Nov 06
Single life syle I would describe as one who puts their wishes first and tries to manipulate other/s into compliance with those wishes.(Short version)hehe
@rohit55_56 (2297)
• India
29 Nov 06
no.....i don't have any sister
• United States
29 Nov 06
I dont get it. what does your lack of a sister have to do with anything?
• United States
29 Nov 06
i dont get it. what does you not having a sister have to do with anything?
• United States
29 Nov 06
i dont get it. what does you not having a sister have to do with anything?
• United States
22 Jan 07
Marriage is a big step and will change alot of things for you. I don't say there is an age that can be put on getting married. If you are cabable of being responsible for all that marriage involves then you are not to young. Why are they saying it is a bad decision? Will you continue to go to college after you are married? Where will you live? What type of work does your fiance do? How old is he? Are you thinking about the cost of things that you will incur once you are married. Good luck to you and don't get discouraged by what others think is right for you.
• United States
23 Jan 07
there are many reasons why they say its bad. I will stay in school though i am taking a semester off due to stress related medical issues. We will live in Ft Bragg or near there because currently he is still in the army. We always think about money and expenses. thanks for the luck. its certainly needed :)
@fl0urish (5384)
• India
29 Nov 06
yeah ur wrong buddy....try know hat life is then step forward see that you dont regret later...anyways if you are quite confident that you can face any kind of prob then itz upto you
• India
29 Nov 06
don't marry at all.. why suffering at this age
• United States
29 Nov 06
how is spending the rest of your life with someone you love who loves you just as much considered suffering? Honestly the suffereing would be if I wasnt with him. Only a person who truly understands love and being in love would see this. maybe you had a bad past experience and though I hope this isnt the case if it is dont give up just yet :)
@JoeyCa (1810)
• Belgium
29 Nov 06
19 is still quite young I guess.. I consider 25 as minimum although it depends from person to person of course... and of course I give you... an enormous huge and many sweet kisses! xxxx
• United States
29 Nov 06
well thank you. i appreciate the hugs and kisses lol
@jmp824 (741)
• Philippines
14 Nov 06
I agree to what other people say that you are making a bad decision. Finish college first. And look for a stable job. And then decide on getting married. But its still you will decide. So whatever you think will make you good.
• United States
29 Nov 06
I dont know why its such a big deal that i'm getting married before I finish school. its not like i'm quiting. i'm still going to continue on and graduate.
@mansha (6298)
• India
14 Nov 06
Yes you are. You are jumping on the wagon too fast and too early. I made same mistake years back so I will advise you don't do so. Resultis I am still upgrading my educational skills in order to take care of my kids. You never know what life will throw at you in future so better equip yourself with all the skills necessary to handle the situation any situation.No matter what you feel love is -believe me its going to change after some years. You have got at least 8-9 years before you can decide what's best for you. Let love wait for you,if its meant to happen it will happen if it does not wait for you than you just escaped making a mistake in life.
• United States
14 Nov 06
in 8 or 9 years ill be close to thirty and by that time i will feel like i have wasted the majority of my life alone when I could have been sharing it with a man who wants to share his life with me. by the time im 30 it will close to too late to have children and actually be able to enjoy them. getting married around 20 i believe ill have time to share with my husband and then be able to have children and still enjoy having a family without being too old or stuck in my career
@vibi2006 (52)
• India
14 Nov 06
I think 19 is too young to get married. One is not matured enough to know the seriousness of relationship and commitment to his/her partner.
• United States
14 Nov 06
individuals mature at rates that may be different than others. my own parents have told me for years that they themselves believe I have been far more mature than most 19 year olds. I had a plan for my life at 8 years old and now at 19 I am well on my way to doing exactly what I said I would do 11 years ago. the only difference is that now i intend to continue doing so with a husband by my side to support my every step. As for not knowing the seriousness of relationships. Age does not determine maturity and what one does and does not understand. I fully understand committment and what it means to be in a relationship. especially when it comes to being in a relationship with a military man. I know whats in my head and my heart.
@momto2 (471)
• United States
14 Nov 06
As everyone else said, you should be at least 18. But remember, only you can decide what's right for YOU. I definately think the parents should be involved-- the communication lines should be open. Lots of married people go to college, what's the big deal? You do what you feel is right. Good Luck!
• United States
14 Nov 06
My parents are very supportive. my mother is actually helping me with the planning so i can remain primarily focused on school. college is a big deal because i dont want anything to interfere with that. least of all his job because the army has a way of screwing with people.
• United States
14 Nov 06
i don't think 19 is too young. maybe they are just making a big fuss about it coz they want you to finish college. but then we should be the one making our own decisions in life. when we already know what's good or bad for us... i think other people should let us be. after all, all we're left to do is to stand up for the choices we've made!
• United States
29 Nov 06
even when i get married i'm still staying in school. as a matter of fact I'm encouraging my fiance to go back to school with me when his contract with the army is up.
• United States
14 Nov 06
Bride & Groom - Bride and Groom in pink heart.
I think you should wait until you are at least 18. Most...note I stated "most" teenagers don't know what real love actually is (I thought I was in love several times as a teen) and for them to get married would be a mistake. I married when I was 19 and have been Happily Married for 9 years. Of course we have also known each other now for 26 years. I think you will be fine though. We were told we would never make it and look at us now!:Þ As long as you are both committed and willing to bend for each other you will be just fine! Good luck!
• United States
14 Nov 06
I actually turned 19 in september and i wont be getting married until next october so i will be 20 by then. Also it isnt like this is something we are rushing into He and I have talked about it on many occassions since may. I fully intend to stay in school and finish my degree and he is totally in support of that. we are both really good about understanding and supporting each other in what we want to do. Thank you for your answer. I appreciate your input and I wish you many more happy years! :)
@minnie_98214 (10557)
• United States
28 Nov 06
i think 74 is a great age to finally settle down.
• United States
29 Nov 06
74 is far too old for me. i mean itd be great if i planned to spend the majority of my life, all my important moments and accomplishments single and lonely but I intend on having someone there to love and support me and to share my happiness with. I dont want to spend my life alone. what would be the point of living
• Romania
29 Nov 06
Don't do it, because you might ruin your life this way! you might lose the most beautiful years of your life:(
• United States
29 Nov 06
How is this going to ruin my life? I'm not giving up anything. I am staying in school and going to have a career. My fiance supports this whole heartedly. and as for the most beautiful years of my life. I believe those are the ones the I spend with him growing in our relationship and building a life together and eventually having children although that wont happen until after i finish college. I dont see how marrying the most wonderful man I know (aside from my father of course) who loves me more than anything and spending the rest of my life with him is going to ruin my life. sounds like you may have had a pretty bad past experience although i hope that isnt the case.
@timmeh0910 (1168)
• United States
1 Nov 06
I think once your 18 your perfectly fine to get married if you can financially support yourself.
• India
27 Nov 06
unless and untill you are able to stnd on your own feet financially ,you should not get married.
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
1 Nov 06
I am getting in March of next year, and I am 21, I have heard all the same stories about oh your too young, etc, but did people say that when 18-21 year olds married in the past, no, 18 was considered an old maid... I beleive you as an individual will know when the time is right for you, and it is your decision noone elses in the end. Good luck and I hope it all goes well....
• United States
29 Nov 06
Thanks for the support. I dont think anyone really considers the way things were like that in the past. I'm getting married in octoer and at that point i'll be 20. My parents actually adore my fiance and my mother wishes we'd get married sooner. I'm glad you brought up that point though all too often people forget that 1oo years ago women like you and i were considered too old to get married as opposed to too young.
@oresal (1350)
• El Salvador
1 Nov 06
married - married
Well according to ur countries laws, theres an age required, but i think in some countries u can really get married really young. Im not sure what are the church views but at least in mine, u need to be 18. I think is ok to get married before 18 but ur parents must agree, not sure
• United States
1 Nov 06
i know the laws of my country. plus im majoring in law in school. i was asking more about what people thought morally and whatnot.
@k3tk3t (3128)
• Philippines
29 Nov 06
24 below
• India
29 Nov 06
less 18
@rachelcaron (1679)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I don't think one can really say what an appropriate age for marriage would be. I believe it depends on the couple and their individual situation and love for each other. I do believe people should be at least 18 years old though. But after that, I think it is entirely up to the couple. Some people are very mature at 20, while others need more time to grow up before getting married. There are a lot of things to consider before getting married. I think it is very important that man and woman are sure they really love each other and have already established good communication. That is the key! It is important for them to really know each other - likes, dislikes, morals, values, ... I got married when I was 24. I think that was a great age for me. Notice I say for me. I was ready and I truly loved my husband. I had no doubts. At 24, I feel I had some time before marriage for myself. I was able to finish my bachelors degree, travel, and live on my own a little. This time to myself helped me grow and learn more about what I wanted and didn't want. I highly recommend that someone has some time to themself before marriage for this reason. so, no, I don't think you can really say you have to be ___ age before you can get married. It just depends on the person/couple.