How do you respond when someone criticises you?

I too get defensive, or it makes me feel down, I do not have a lot of confidence in myself as it is so it does not take a lot to rock what little I do have! I too was always critisized as a child, it seemed that no matter how hard I tried it was never good enough and I could have done better! It is a hard habit to break and I am the same, I try not to be but I am really sensitive.

I just ignore them..But there are some people challenge you thru or by criticising your deeds. And at the same time it can affect each individualities who received critisism especially by using it in a rudeness way. And they accept it in different means.

when people criticize you, what they are really doing is pointing out are the things about themselves that they feel they fall short in. it is never really about you. So once you know that then you not to take it to heart.

I am really sensitive to being criticised as I also grew up with a super critical date.It is as if I could hear his voice again chiding me for not having made an A plus in grade school, for not having scored more than 140 in a IQ test and on and on. So when someone makes a remark that is critical of me I get actually angry. I do not like to be judged by someone who does not know me and whom I do not know. live and let live is my motto.

Just smile and nod!! :) You'll be surprised how much it conforts you by just ignoring what other people think about your choices. As long as what you are doing is not something wrong or illegal you shouldn't be concerned about other people's critisism. I mean as long as you are happy with your achievements you shouldn't let anyone take that happiness away from you!! Be proud of what you have achieved and enjoy life!! :) All the best

It really depends WHO is being critical of me. If it's somebody I respect who isn't saying it to tear me down, then I might listen and figure out ways to improve myself. If it's somebody who doesn't matter, like a stranger, somebody who doesn't have my interests at heart, etc etc, I try to brush it off and ignore it. Often critical behavior comes from people who don't want to invest time in themselves to improve themselves, they see in you something they desire and it angers them, so they are envious or jealous. Nobody can make you feel less or not worthy without your consent. My dad criticized me as well in the same manner, even if I did well, he would point out that I wasn't the best blah blah blah. Well you know what? I don't strive for the best. I strive to be happy and happy doesn't necessarily mean I have to be the best. I revel in my 'imperfections' as they are part of what makes me ME.

If it's family being critical....I might think about what was told and if it really is true and I didn't realize it. But if that person was constantly criticizing me.....I would feel bad and try to be away from the person(till the next time it happened again....because I tend to forget soon). If it's an acquaintance or friend criticizing...depending on my mood, I will retaliate. But sometimes, I just feel bad and shut my mouth even though I want to get defensive. But I find that I sometimes get defensive even when my husband is trying to say something....most often because he gets defensive when I try to talk to him about personal things (now after your post I realize that's because his father was/is always criticizes what he does)

It is really difficult to handle when someone criticises me. But I think deeply about the criticism. I see if the criticism was a positive one, was it for my own good or was I criticised just for the sake of it. I take positive criticisim in the right spirit. I belive - Maturity is proportionate to the embarassment, one can tolerate. I feel it is better not get agitated and respond to criticism instantly.

i understand u coz i've experienced being criticized and i definitely don't like the feelings i get. it hurts me so much.. but you know what's the good thing? i treated those as challenges and it helped me a lot to achieve what i want. i always think i'm only human. i'm not perfect. they're not perfect too, so why should i be bothered? i'm doing my very best to please anyone but if they still don't appreciate it, well its not my problem anymore. i learned to be strong because of them so yea take it as a challenge. if you know u r doing good, then don't stop. just keep goin. it's your life not theirs! just don't look into bad effects of being criticized, instead, look into the positive sides and believe me, criticism helps! =)

I grew up with no self confidence. Took all the blame even tho I didn't deserve it and didn't know I could, muchless was able, to stand up for myself. 20 years ago when I had to go to work to support my kids, hardest thing I've ever had to do. But it taught me I wasn't as stupid as I was lead to belive, I was intelligent, I could do things and I had confidence that could support me. Took me the next 15 years to work on it and get it right, but now, someone critizes me - I defend myself and then say - this is how it is..take it or leave it. I got an ulcer, twice, trying to be there for everyone nad keep peace and make it all work in sync. Don't happen and it took physical pain for me to finally get it. Now, I am happy with myself and in a way, could careless what others think of me or what I have done. I do what I think is the right thing to do and God is the only one I have to answer to. Anyone dont' like it, tuff tacos. Deal with it. I am just not a wet blanket anymore and will say my peace. I think they are more shocked that I stand up for myself than shocked at what I say. People call me cynical... I'm not. I just don't conform to their way of thinking, so to defend themselves they have to say I am cynical. Do I care? No, seldom do I care. If that is all they think of me, why should I care? If they cared, they wouldn't think so badly of me. Okay, off my soap box! Good luck to you.

I think your step just wanted to encourage me,he hoped you to do better,but he did it the wrong way.My father was always ccriticising me about everything too when I was a litte girl.I was so scared by his criticism that would better without his presence when I was doing something.I remember I shouted him back when I was older in high school.That's strange,from then on,he didn't criticise me anymore,and I 'm less fearsome about him.I should say,what his criticisms kind of shaped me.Now I am a grown up,I don't care what people say about me or think of me,I just do want I should do,do what I think the right thing to to.Anyway,you just be yourself,you can't satisfy everyone.

If his/her words are convincing, I would welcome. if he just do it cause he is a kind of person likes to do it then i pretend that it was never there and neglect him. I think this is the best cure for these people.

I have a bad habit of responding with sarcasm. A few years ago when I worked in a restaurant, I got my long hair cut short. The reason was because the long ends were curly from a perm, but I was going through some hormonal changes and when I went to get another perm my hair wouldn't curl. So I had half straight and half curly hair and it looked like I had a fake extention. So...I went and got all the curly part cut off. Everyone who saw me would ask why I would cut my long hair off! After days and days of hearing this, it was really getting on my nerves, and another co-worker came up to me as I was ringing up a long line of customers, and she said really loud: "What did you do to your hair!!??" I looked at her and sweetly said "I'm allowed to look ugly too!" Well that shut her up! No one said another word to me about my hair.

Say Thank You and assure them that you would work on it. Then think back on it and logically analyse it. If you get to understand that their criticism is true then you need not worry about anything, You could just change for the better. If you think that what you did was right, then you could just ignore them. for the good. After all its just an opinion, and not the fact. you could very much ignore it if you think that they are wrong. Other than that, you may not take heed at all. Its good to be what you want to be and live as you like, but sometimes, I Say, sometimes, we just have to lend an ear to other people. As you tell that you have been brought up in the same critical environment , I think I should also say that I also have been brought up like that. My father never approved of me doing things the way I liked, He always was like " Why don't you Do this? Why don't you Do that?". For a while I took it to heart and was depressed. But later I realized that I was happy with my own decisions and no matter what people said I did what I wanted to live how I like. I still face criticism from my family members about the way I do things, but lately, I just sit down and explain them about my plans and my decisions and the reason that I am taking these decisions. That helps them understand me better and add to the discussion. Hope that was helpful to you bourne

criticism always be in my life since i am kind of person who like challenge the flowing of society. i like to try new things in my life. in my experience, i tend to ignore any critics if i feel the critics not important to take my concerning. as long as i am sure that what i am doing is good and i can take responsibility, i don't think i will accept any critics and being defensive. butif i feel the critics really good which means to make me more better then i will take it although perhaps in the beginning it seems that i challenge the critics and defends with several arguments. but in some case, i just will accept it directly

My father and my mom's mom or my gradmother were both a lot this way towards me . So I understand how you feel. I still to this day have a hard time excepting being criticed. It makes me feel really stupid and worthless.

I had the same sort of problem with my own Dad. He tended to be critical. I was shy when I was little, and he really hated that. He would make fun of me for it. I made A's and B's all through school, so it was always, "Why can't you make straight A's?" He rarely ever approved of any of my friends. He hated my husband! Of course, I can't fault him on that one...we divorced. lol When I bought my house, he said, "I've seen that house you're buying. I'll tell you what to do with it; jack it up and run another one under it." Yes, it needed work, but the bones were all good. It was just cosmetic work needed doing. After I got it painted and small repairs done, he was amazed. I just don't really get what makes some people like that. I always have tried to be positive about my own children. I didn't want them to go through that! Even if I thought a negative thing, I would say it in a positive way. Yes, it still bothers me when someone is critical, but I never show it. I know it doesn't really matter anyway.

really dont do much avout it. whts the point its there opinion it dosent mean anything to me unless i want it to.

Well I use to be like that but then I realized Why?? You have a choice whether you realize it or not to either get upset (which is how you deal with it now) or laugh at it or at them for being so stupid as to waste their time on critizing you. I chose to laugh I no longer care what people think of me cause at the end of the day what matters is what I think about myself. So look inward rejoice in your achievements and who care what anyone else says its your life not theirs.

for me it really depends on who is doing the criticizing and in what manner it is being done. if someone is doing it to be mean then i will tell them off in no uncertain terms. if it is being done with love and concern for me then i would probably take it in stride and realize they are only trying to help. my father is a bit critical at times and i take it with a grain of salt most times because he is set in his ways and i do not agree with most of his views so i just stay away from him when he is too critical. one thing i really believe is that no one should give their opinion and/or criticism unless asked for their opinion.