Adoption....What's it like.....
@SassyKittyKat (2135)
Australia
April 13, 2008 9:34am CST
I love my family and I am very close to them and I couldn't imagine what I would do if I found out that they were not really my blood relatives (no matter how many times I may have wished it at times growing up when they drove me crazy
). So, because of this, when I hear about other's who have been adopted, it always makes me wonder what it was like for them growing up in a home where they knew they were not blood related and if they ever felt out of place or if they felt like they just belonged.
So, my questions to you all are as follows:
For the adopted person: How did you feel growing up? Did you feel like you belonged? Were you as happy as your siblings and friends who were not adopted? What was it like for you?
For the unadopted person: How do you think you would feel if you found out you were adopted? Have you ever wondered what it would have been like? Have you ever wondered what it must have been like for those who were adopted? What's your point of view on this?
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2 people like this
7 responses
@mansha (6298)
• India
17 Apr 08
My parents are no more and now I seriously wish someone would adopt me all 37 year old of me. It would be so nice to have a home to go to. Infact adopted people are so lucky they have four people who love them. May be they were given away as that was the best option their birth parents had at that point of time-you have to love a person that much to actually do what is best for him and crush your own feelings. Then they have adopted parents who love and nurture them all their life. Both ways its a nice thought.
@SassyKittyKat (2135)
• Australia
17 Apr 08
I'm so sorry about your parents. My mom's health is very bad and I have no contact with my father, so, I can relate somewhat but obviously not completely. I'm sorry again!
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Apr 08
yeah i thought one time what if i am adopted child what would be my reaction if my parents tell me. commonly nowadays we saw on tv about adopted child, some them want to stay to their poster parents and some want to be back to their real family. i have a friend now who were adopted but she really likes her parents, all of their wealth are name after her. what things she want they give to her, she is very lucky but she is not a good student. always do cutting class. i don't like her attitude. she wasted the money of her poster parents.
@SassyKittyKat (2135)
• Australia
14 Apr 08
Yeah, that's not an attitude to have but then, if you spoil your kids, it's going to come and bite you in the butt one day ha LOL...
@SViswan (12051)
• India
13 Apr 08
I know I'm not adopted....I look like my parents too...so unless I've been adopted from a relative and not been told...I'm not adopted.
But during my teenage years, I've made up stories of how I was adopted (and some really far-stretched ones to make up for the fact that I resembled my parents).
Well, I don't really think I'd feel bad to know I am adopted. But I'd be curious about my biological parents....just to know who they are and why I was given for adoption. Besides that, the family I grew up with is my family and I wouldn't bother too much about anything else.
One of my cousins adopted a girl...and we all forget she is adopted...she's just a part of our family. It's only when something comes up that we realize she is adopted....especially when we are talking about qualities we inherited from our parents....and stuff like that....and then we can't really speak for her. She's 8 now and knows she is adopted. She does have a lot of questions which she voices to her mother...and she gets open answers to those.
I don't think the adopted people have a probelm being a part of the family unless someone has a problem and is always showing them they are not part of the family. But I've always thought about some issues like growing up and marrying a sibling (unknowingly). When one is adopted, they wouldn't know about the other kids their biological parents had. And another thing would be genetic problems passed on...they wouldn't be aware of it till it's too late.
1 person likes this
@_hope_ (3902)
• Australia
14 Apr 08
I`m not that close to my family and only see then once in a while and for me thats too much in my books.My upbringing wasn`t the best our parents were drunks and very abusive to us kids .I was sexually assulted by my brother uncle and other close friends of our parents as were my other sisters .I would of loved to belong to a loving and caring family if given the chance .As for adoptions i have three cousins who were adopted and those kids were so loved in their new home and today these three have grown to be wonderful caring adults ( and some parents themselves) some of them have sought out their birth mothers and the others have decided that they were happy just as they are .
The one who had contacted his birth mother found the reason why her little boy had been placed on adoption and i think that that gave him a lot of answers he had been seeking .Now he and his natural mother and adoptive parents all get on extreemly well .
1 person likes this
@SassyKittyKat (2135)
• Australia
14 Apr 08
Wow, I'm sorry for your family situation. That is no way to grow up. Honestly, I'm at a loss for words because I don't think there is anything I can say. The only thing I can tell you is that they will have to answer for their actions in the end.
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
13 Apr 08
The subject certainly isnt a black and white one by any means and of course I can only speak for myself...so here goes
How did you feel growing up?
Simply put, worthless, hated, unequal, an inconvienience, different...
Did you feel like you belonged?
no not at all and that was intentional on their part..still is today
Were you as happy as your siblings..
Of course not for reasons above
and friends who were not adopted?
Not really..but how we all were raised is completely different
What was it like for you?
Long story short...it was hell...we had many dirty little secrets in our house growing up and many of them revolved around me
1 person likes this
@SassyKittyKat (2135)
• Australia
13 Apr 08
Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. So many times when you talk with adopted people you expect to hear that although they may have felt out of place, they always felt loved. You never expect to hear a story such as yours. I'm really sorry that you had to go through all that. They should never have treated you that way and my only consolation is that the there is a higher being that has seen their actions and they will have to answer to him for it. Sorry but I really appreciate you sharing your experience with all of us!
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
13 Apr 08
One of my very best school friends was adopted and she found out about it when as a teenager she found out about it, she really went through a crisis. I would have traded my crabby mum for her charming and generous one any day of the week, but she felt she had been lied to and cheated because her adoptive parents didn't tell her the "truth" from infancy.
I could never see the difference. Her parents loved her and were good to her and were as real as anybody. Just because someone is your real parent unfortunately doesn't make them have to love you, and even if they do, it doesn't make them capable of showing it in a positive and nurturing way.
You are so fortunately to have a family that is close, but I think that whether they are real or adoptive may be a secondary issue, as I truly think it is the love that is important and not the pedigree. Think what it must be like to be orphaned but never have been adopted. Yet some people in that situation have grown and prospered and achieved "normal" adult lives. One thing I will say is that human beings a resilient.
1 person likes this
@jstaubin (423)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I have a very strange family. Because of this I am blessed with two step dads, a step mom and an adopted mom. This has given a unique view on family. In my opion adoption can be a great thing. It is great when a child can get the love that their parent could not give to them. But at the same time it does leave a void it leaves you wondering why did they give me up and what your birth parent is like. It is really a tough situation to be in because it is both good and bad at the same time.
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