Being Polite...Even If It Kills Ya...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
April 13, 2008 11:18pm CST
I was taught good manners when I was growing up. Being respectful of other ppl’s homes and belongings. Not touching things when we went to visit. Not getting into the fridge or cabinets. The list goes on.
One of the big ones was even if you don’t like or get along with the person you are going to visit (as in a family visit) that you are still polite and courteous. You weren’t rude or hateful and you conducted yourself as a lady (or gentleman).
There were different ppl when I was growing up that I either didn’t like or didn’t know well enough to like or dislike but I still minded my manners. Recently, my sister came to visit with my Dad and Stepmom, she and I hardly know each other. We were both polite and courteous to each other, but there was no love lost between us…sad but true. It occurred to me that her mom (my Stepmom) was the one that instilled in me about being polite all the time so it’s probably safe to say she instilled the same thing into her own daughter. At least there was no fighting or anything…but to be honest, I don’t feel any different after seeing her then I did before I saw her.
Were you taught the same way? Are you polite to ppl even if you don’t like them?
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
19 people like this
58 responses
@ElicBxn (63568)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I was taught that way, happily I haven't been pressed to many times to have to work hard to exercise it, but there have been some times when I really have been.
In fact, last fall at my roommate's folks her a$$hole of a brother was there and I finally said that I didn't have to stay there and be insulted and we were leaving - I understand that her father ripped him a new one after that.
Happily the jerk is now living with his current girlfriend.
2 people like this
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I was brought up with the same values, twoey, but somewhere along the line I became this person that wss so full of anger. Not sure when, why or how it happened but it got worse as I got older till a few years ago when I finally enrolled myself in anger management classes. I was sick of my anger and wanted to learn how to control it. Now I'm almost back to how I used to be, polite most times but sometimes the anger sneaks out but at appropiate times instead of all the time.
2 people like this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
14 Apr 08
We were always taught the same thing...to be respectful of others and polite even when they are rude or you don't like them... I asked my mom one day how am I supposed to be nice when someone is acting like a jerk.. She said kill them with kindness...a person that doesn't like you or is rude hates it when you are overly nice to them... It has worked many times...I don't have to be rude yet my point gets across nicely....lol
Blessed be, Mari
1 person likes this
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
14 Apr 08
Oh how I love that...kill them with kindness. lol I've 'killed' so many rude ppl in my life that I gave up keeping track a long time ago. Even in anger, I've learned how to be sugary sweet and really knock em off. -giggling-
1 person likes this
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
14 Apr 08
Hehe it really can be quite fun..I think of it as a form of entertainment....Oh I almost feel evil...oh well so be it..
1 person likes this
@wilson7634 (163)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I wasn't taught this way but this is how I am. I think it comes from the jobs I've done. And it carries over into my life outside of work. It's hard to do sometimes and I don't always think that it is a good thing to do all the time cause you'll find yourself with built up anger inside and maybe you really need to discuss with that person what is bothering you maybe it will help resolve the issue you have with that person.
1 person likes this
@Arkadus (895)
• Canada
15 Apr 08
I learned to be polite because if I wasn't I got spanked. But that's not socially acceptable anymore, which may or may not be why so many kids these days run amok cussing at their parents and whatnot. Course despite that I'm still something of a smartass so it can't work that good. ;p
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
14 Apr 08
oh yes... definitely... especially i come from a traditional chinese family where the culture is very strict... and respecting elders and having good manners are a must... i never dare to talk back to my parents or yell at them or i have to bear the consequences of being slap or punish by them... also, when i don't like a person, i still try to be nice with him/her as long that person does not disturb me...
1 person likes this
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
2 May 08
I was basically raised the same way,to act like a lady,don't touch stuff in people's homes.We just moved here a month ago and my daughter that is 11 makes friends easily and with any age kid.There is a boy that is 7 that lives down the street and one day when we first moved here he came to the door and tried to open the door and because it was locked,he didn't stop and knock,he left.Then the other day,we were out and when we came home and walked around the corner my daughter saw the boy with his ear to our door listening to see if we were there. I know that he is only 7,but when I was 7 and my kids were that age we did not do rude things like that.What are his parents teaching or not teaching him.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
14 Apr 08
Yeah I was raised pretty much the same way. I was also raised to say yes sir and yes mamm to older peopler or no sir and no mamm. I was taught ppretty much the same as you not to touch anything. Or go open anything.Even if I didn't like someone very well I was still taught to be polite.
1 person likes this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
14 Apr 08
Twoey, I used to be, so nice and polite you could lick sugar of my skin. The fact is that If I have gotten tot he point that I truly dislike someone, then they no longer deserve for me to be mannerly or polite to. I do not waste my time or energy on those folks, because it took something for me to get to the point I am to begin with.
But now as for general manners, we are the Kings and Queens of hospitality here in the south and I have tried to raise my boys with this type of mentality. Be kind, lend a helping hand to a neighbor in need. If you see someone broke down out in the world lend a hand, but keep yourself safe. On the other hand I have also taught them how to stand up for themselves.
1 person likes this
@youdontsay (3497)
• United States
2 May 08
What ever happened to courtesy? Yes, I was taught to respect others and their property, and to be polite in all circumstances, even if I didn't feel like it.
That must be a generational thing, because I sure don't see it in the young adults these days. They walk through yards without permission, they throw litter on the ground, they put their feet on tables, they talk back to their elders.
What happened?
@sumofalltears (3988)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I was taught the same way as you and I still adhere to those teachings. I am polite to everyone until they do something to change that. I feel that if the other person cannot respond in a polite manner all bets are off. I won't be rude but neither will I force politeness. Interacting with other people is a two way street and I can only go one way.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
3 May 08
Yes. I really have to be provoked to be impolite to someone for any reason. I can be in the same room with someone or work side by side with someone and they will not know it if i do not like them. There is no reason to create tension for that person and everyone else. I have an ex that our relationship ended on really bad terms with. I happen to work in a public place in the town that he lives. He WILL NOT come in while I am working. Guess he didn't know me so well after all because I would treat him just as I would anybody else. It's really not so difficult. My parents were big on this sort of thing too and I was with my own children.
@mimm45 (168)
• Australia
14 Apr 08
I was raised by my parents the same way. It even went further such that when people came to visit we were not supposed to go out and play in the living room. We were only allowed to talk when spoken to and then always in a very respectful manner. People older than us should be called sir or maam. If somebody gave or offered us something we should always say "No, thank you". It came as a surprise to me when I had to move abroad and people called each other by their first names even though they are much older or is an old family friend or a relative. Up until now I still have a hard time doing this. I call my husband's aunt as "Aunty" and not by her first name as she requested. And yes, I am still polite to people I don't like even though I'd rather not talk to them. This is what I do when my sister-in-law comes to visit. I always respond to her when she speaks to me though I never start a conversation myself. If it gets too tedious, I just 'zone out' and say yes or no or hhmm at the appropriate times.
1 person likes this
@thepromptwriter (474)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I was always taught to be respectful of other people. Whether I was related to them or not. I've always tried to teach my children the same thing, but there are a few people out there that make it very hard to do so.
I am always polite to the people I don't like. I honestly believe that you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar. In fact, I pick on the people I like. I have a few friends who say they can tell when I don't like someone or I'm mad at them. If I'm very nice and polite, then I don't like them. If I joke around and tease them, make rude comments about them, or find other ways of picking on them, they know they're in my good graces. LOL
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
2 May 08
It's a different world now! But I agree.. I was raised the same way. To always be respectful to all people ~ especially adults. I remember this from school "The golden Rule ~ treat others the way you expect to be treated". It says it all- respect- nice- polite, etc. I was in the school several times the last 3 years (my daughter went there too)-- the golden rule is still there :) I can see that a lot of kids are not being taught to follow that rule at home. It's sad!
I am respectful and my daughter is also- It's important to me-- Good manners, respect, politeness- all of those are key things to teach our children. How do children learn? by us teaching them and by us showing them--- so actions speak louder than words--- If they see us respectful to everyone- hopefully they will be the same.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
22 Apr 08
We were taught the same as you twoey, ....be polite, courteous and show respect for people and their homes and belongings. When I became older I would treat people the way I wanted to be treated, that is with courtesy and respect. I didn't expect to make friends with everyone but I did expect the golden rule.
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
23 Apr 08
I was taught the exact same way and am always polite when I am out and respectful of others homes. My children were taught the same and my grand children are being taught the same. I can remember people I have worked with who I didn't like AT ALL and yet they never realized that I wished they weren't there and there was one woman in particular that I was glad when she wasn't. I was taught that you treat everyone the way you would like to be treated and there is no exception to that.
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
26 Apr 08
Manners are one of the best things we can have. They get us much further and much more in life and people respond to them a lot better.
@reene0225 (351)
• United States
26 Apr 08
I grew up the same way. I to this day won't go into someone's house without making sure it's ok to wear shoes in the house, not getting into anything unless I am given permission, etc. I wouldn't want someone to do that at my house. There are so many people that I just really don't like. None of them happen to be family members we ever visited. Mainly because if I don't like them most likely neither did my grandma. If I were to see a very distant family member that I don't like out on the street I'd talk to them only if they recognized me and I'd be nice but it'd be a fake nice.
