The Power To Forgive... Do You Have It?

Normally id say I can forgive but I have a hard time just forgeting but right now my emotions are so out of whack theres no telling how id react (im pregnant lol). I might manage to show every emotion possible in 5 minutes time.

Who am I, to not forgive those who have sinned against me..? Definitely the best way to resolve and settle things up is to, sit down and talk in a respectful manner. Some say that sorry seems to be the hardest word to utter, but I say just give it some time. We all have a good person inside of us, all we need to do is show them from time to time.

I will admit when I am wrong and I will apologize for it to My Ex Husband put me through hell and called me a lot of Names in our Marriage I but what broke it was when he told me that I am no one special and this came about because I had been cool with a Friend of his who had actually come onto me, when I told the X that is when he said it and that hurt very much because for once in my Life I wanted to special to someone and this someone being the one I married but I knew I wasn't I always knew but for him to come out with it in words made it real to me But that is the past and I have not really forgiven if I am honest but I am not bitter anymore either My Children and I have had strong words in the past but we always ended in tears and had a cuddle and talked mainly Mel and me lol But what someone has done to my Son last week I will never forgive ever My Nightmares and fears came true last week as that has been my fear but I have never ever said, it has been my Fear from when she told me 2 years ago that she had once stabbed her Brother and from when she picked up a Knife to Mike, I never thought it would happen but I will never forgive that, hurt me, call me Names and things like that but never my Children, Gissi, D or Friends as that I can not forgive

In my earlier days, I could easily forgive but not forget. But now, as I am growing older and more mature, I forget faster than I remember, so I don't even know what to feel bad about and I feel it is silly to hold grudges against anybody for a long time. I have come to really acknowledge and understand the fact that each one is unique and every individual has different opinions of what is right and wrong. Something that is right for one might be completely wrong in another's eyes. So, I never judge anybody by just one or two of their actions. I always consider the situation in which a person is when they react in a way that I don't like. I used to fight a lot for what I thought was right but now have come to understand that it is not absolutely necessary everytime someone offends me. I guess a person's defenses start working when they are criticised and so I just stand there and take in whatever criticism they have to offer, say sorry and get out of that place. If I think they have misunderstood I try to make my point clear. Then after I have considerably calmed down... (my defenses do start working in my mind immediately after the fight, though)I sit down and think about what they said and if I have really acted in an unconsiderate way. Then, if I find that I am wrong I make amends and make it a point that I don't commit that mistake again. If I end up thinking I was wrongly offended for a mistake that I did not commit, I throw it away from my mind, convincing myself that my offender had misunderstood me and will try to communicate to them the actual intention of whatever had offended them in the first place. Even then, if they do not understand, I just say sorry to have hurt them again and leave it at that, because each person views something differently and I have learnt to live with it. It does not change how I act with that person again unless they want it that way and move away. I may be careful not to hurt them again, though, I had to learn a lesson from it atleast.

Hi Darkwing! I am too soft when it comes to people asking for forgiveness. I easily forgive just anyone who asks of it even though it still really hurts. But there are times, when some people don't really care if they have hurt you. In this case, I do forgive them in my heart but I would always pray that I do not see them yet. I try to avoid any "chance meeting" because I would not know how to act towards them. I just could not approach anyone who has hurt me unless they have approached me first. I do not want to dwell on anger because it would not do any good for me or for anyone involved. Most of the time, I just cry over it and pray. I don't take vengeance on anyone but I admit that in my thoughts sometimes I am tempted. And if I am the one who has hurt anyone, I will ask for forgiveness. Just my thoughts. take care and have a nice day!

I usually explode and then after thats over I apologize for overreacting and usually end up in tears. Ihave a quick fuse but I also recover quickly too. I am a scorpio after all.

I can forgive easily, as life is too short for any grudges so it is best to move on. When one is hurt it changes ones perception of that person and we compensate by learning not to discuss anything that might be upsetting to both parties. It is best to count to ten and think before saying something that we might regret and not having to take the hurt back that we might inflict. I would rather walk away before arguing the fact that I might be right about something and give the benifit of the dought that I may be wrong.

its depends on situation. i think i can forgive someone till a certain limit. may be it is dependent on the depth of the harm. but if someone was so that he pretended to be very close to you,took your advantage and later stabbed you at the back, i think it would be difficult. there i some who cheated me. before that he behaved as my best friend. i can never forgive him.

Forgiving someone you love for a sin he did so badly to me I can forgive once but not twice. I am not a bad person and I am real nice if you know me but if you are abusing my kindness why should I forgive. If it is just a very small thing I can always forgive.. as long as you say sorry.

I have been badly hurt in the past, by someone I thought was a good and close friend. I found myself curling up in a little ball and crying in my room, desperately trying to keep the hurt inside. That was a bad mistake to make, keeping the hurt bottled up can only make it worse. Eventually I felt able to confront the friend and tell them exactly how hurt and upset I was and that I felt I couldn't forgive them for the pain they had caused. It took a lot for me to confront them, usually I am the one who backs down and admits I am in the wrong and beg for forgiveness but not this time. I knew I was right and that she was the one who did me wrong.

I don't find it easy to forgive others but I do try to get with the other person sooner rather than later to sort it out. I don't hold grudges for long even if it's family members who I have squabbled with. I would rather it be sorted so we can move on. It may not mean I've forgotten, but at least we have been able to talk it over and hopefully be ok to move on. It takes me a little longer to admit I did wrong, but I do what I can to apologise and if they accept then we move on, if not, then it is no longer my problem, and something they need to get over. There's only so much you can do to apologise and if the other chooses not to accept it then, what more can I do. I have been in a situation recently, well six months ago, where over a silly misunderstanding, I said a few words to a friend and she got really upset after I told her not to post pictures of me online (we went to a dinner together with our family), and she still went ahead and did it. I apologised for what I said numerous times, and she replied back saying she has forgiven me but was hurt and that it was going to take her a long time to get over it. I accepted it and moved on. She hasn't moved on from it and we don't have the same friendship we use to have before. My fault, but that is ok. I am not going to dwell on it and have let it go. The thing I don't understand is while I'm in a good friendship with someone, they all of a sudden change towards me or don't respond to me like they use to. I ask them if I have done anything and they say no, but their actions speak differently. That is what I don't get when people (especially family) do that to me, and it gets me wondering whether I've done something wrong. Maybe I read too much into it, but lately it's been happening a bit. I don't know LOL

What a great discussion topic Darkwing! I bet you get a lot of responses to this one. Very interesting and I hope people will be honest in their responses because this is exactly the sort of forum where you can be honest. When I have had an argument with my partner then I can go silent, I can't help it, I'm just not good with words and when I get angry I say things I don't want to say and I'm not eloquent. I know my partner says that I don't accept it when I am wrong. That isn't quite true, I do accept it when I am wrong I just don't tell anyone about it, which does not give the right impression at all. I am trying to right this personal fault but it is hard to overcome. I am happy to accept apologies and where appropriate will give them a big hug and I am one of the first people who will forgive someone. I don't believe in nuturing bad things because that changes your own persona and that just isn't me. I have had many horrible experiences and I have learnt to forget too, it is a defensive mechanism that allows my soul to be happy, which is so important. As I have got older I have found that I do retaliate and I don't always love myself for it afterwards and so go back into my silent mode and go over everything in my head. Again this doesn't give off good vibes but it is the way I deal with these sorts of situations and then afterwards I am all smiles and I don't like to mention the argument again because I have forgotten it already and have moved on.

wow... i'm experiencing this situation right now. a certain person has wronged me and what she did was really below the belt. i don't know if i could easily forgive her... but she hasn't apologized yet even if she's aware of her mistakes. but forget, i can't do. forgive and forget is never possible. but i guess the first one is... but both together, i doubt it...

For me it's so hard for some questions. But I always forgive some mistakes of my boyfriend! I love him!

To err is human but to forgive is divine. I am the person who easily forgives but sometimes hard to forget especially if the person broke my trust. But if there is love enough in my heart I find it easy to forgive.

Hi Darkwing, looks like you are into counselling. A lot of people waste their life and that of their loved ones because they refuse to forgive. Life is too short. Holding grudge against someone will only make one feel miserable and sad. Forgive and forget is the motto. I think time is a good healer. if you can't forgive someone straight away. let some time pass and then rethink the relationship. Make the first move to patch up. Best of luck.

If a loved one hurts me but promptly apologizes I can and will easily forgive them.But am I able to easily forgive someone who hurts me? No, not really.When I am hurt, I usually start planning the proper revenge.These days the proper revenge is just walking away and dismissing the person.But If I hurt someone that I didn't mean to, I will promptly apologize and hope I didn't cause too much harm.

For me it´s difficult to forgive, in fact, I can be pretty vindictive. The one thing I have in favor here is that I am totally aware of it, which allows me to control my actions or my words. I´m fully aware, too, that I hurt other people. Now, this being said, I honestly don´t think that I am an exception. Forgiveness is a pretty tough thing, it takes time, maturity, even serenity, which most of us hopefully acquire sometime in old age. Forgiveness was the central message of Jesus Christ, his crucifixion happened 2,000 years ago, and here we are, still battling with the same problem. I gues it´s just a question of taking it a step at a time.

There are some things that are easy to forgive and others that are not. Just depends on the situation. Question is can you forget and move on? I always seem to remember all wrong doings. If someone mistreats me I will hold it against them as long as either of us is alive. Finding a way to move on is hard. When I realize I'm wrong I say I'm wrong. Although I hate to have it pointed out LOL

i forgive but i dont forget