Should I give him another chance, or kick him to the curb?

I'm not really one to post to these very personal discussions. I can not even begin to understand all that you and he are facing in this situation. But I would like to give you a few things to think about that may help you make your decision: Who do you trust more to be telling you the truth? This stranger on the phone or your "hubby"? If you really don't know her that well she may just be a head case. Some people just like to cause trouble. Your "hubby" seems to have a soft spot for women in trouble and that puts him in difficult situations. This could be another of them. Has he done anything in the past that was dishonest? Has he ever cheated on you before? I would think twice about judging him based on your past experience. He is not your ex's. He is a unique person and it is not fair to judge him by their actions. Be careful how you proceed. You have kids to think about as well. Don't let your feelings over a perceived wrong impact your kids lives. Make sure you are seeing clearly and doing the work required to maintain a relationship and not just acting on emotion. If you do that, whatever your decision, you will have fewer regrets afterward.

Well there is a lot of issues to deal with here. For one and before you think of anything here just think about it first. Is your marriage a satisfying one for you both? Because believe it or not if he loves you and you love him things change in a marriage and people ( i say people because women and men both do this) start thinking fo how things used to be and how every needs were met. But in many cases things are not met to satisfy anymore especially after so many years being together. We get comfortable and just assume that things are ok still. I think before you do anything rash and make a decision you should ask the question why do you feel like you have to lie and keep things from me? and what is it that you are looking for in this woman that i can't give you? why do you feel like you have to cheat? Do you want to end this marriage because acting the he is right now is to me saying that he has already thought about ending it and just hasn't been able to let go because he wants it to work. I have been there with my ex-wife she cheated on me and i wanted to just crawl in a corner and die.But after I had time to think it through i could have fixed my marriage before it came down to her cheating on me. I could have been there more for her and listened to her more.Not saying this is your fault so please don't take it the wrong way. But a person who goes elsewheres for pleasure or for whatever reason is missing something to drive them there.It could also be innocent all around too. the best thing to do is talk about it and find out the truth totally before you make a decision that will effect the rest of your life. But no matter how you look at it it is cheating and should not be let alone or let him get off easily. If he wants to be there in your life he will have to work hard to prove it and never speak to this woman again or do anything like this again ever.It is your call on how much you can handle or deal with in your relationship... Oh and one more thing to think about... I had a girl call my wife one time saying we slept together and all kinds of stuff. she even went on to tell my wife that it was at our house and then she described my house and at that time my wife (ex-wife) told her she was crazy because we never lived in a house like she explained to her and knows for a fact that she didn't stay with me the other day on a saturday because we were all out he river and home that day. to find out this girl was trying to break me and my wife up because she did want to go out with me... something to think about... best of luck to you

First if you are not married, but living common-law, it does not give him an incentive to be true and faithful. That could be why he is seeing the other woman and maybe she thinks that he is free, not married and therefore her intentions are for her to have him. You should not let your past experiences color your decision unless they started out that way. I think you should forgive him, and tell him that by going with this woman, he was cheating with you in his heart and then tell him, if you are not married, was it because we were not married that you felt compelled to go elsewhere? Make it so that he has to say, "It is not your fault that I went elsewhere," Guilt does wonders. You just have to be subtle about it.

I also see it as cheating. But I think that you guys should go to counseling and you should work on forgiving him. Ten years is a long time to be married to someone. If you still love him, try to work things out.

I know of a guy who was always calling this woman his "sister" when we chatted! She forgave him but she really has no idea all the things he had been up to, not even now! Every man may be different in some ways, so it is not easy to say what you should do, but see how counseling works as a couple! There is never really only one "love" in our lives, and we have to decide how we will deal with the other "loves" when we meet them! I would be very wary if he tries to put all the blame on her, saying that she wants him only, not vice versa! It is tough to be so honest when the other person is angry. Wait until you are no longer angry and ask him to go to counseling. After a few minutes, some counselors can tell if a relationship will work out. It has something to do with the way you talk with each other!

well friendi think that it would be good if you would give him another chance and not kick him out.A person who has been with you since last 10 years should be given a second thought dont you think so my dear friend.....

OUCH...well I wouldnt consider it cheating necessarily but I would be VERY ticked off about the deception...and that alone would make me wonder if being with this man was a good thing or not simply because if he's been sneaking around doing this for that long then who knows what else he's been hiding ya know..and that sort of thing I can't and won't deal with...The trust would be COMPLETELY gone for me so staying in the relationship would be totally pointless IMO....BUT thats ME.....I think YOUR best bet is to seriously mull over how this whole thing is making you feel, how you truly feel about him and your relationship and whether or not this is even repairable at all ya know... best of luck to you though..

KICK HIM TO THE CURB! Sorry but I feel that if they do it once they'll do it again. Also, who knows how long this has been going on. I know you have records and things, but do you really know when it all started? Plus you don't deserve to be disrespected like that. It'll be hard since you've been together for so long, but you will move on and find happiness. God bless!

That's a hard one for me. I would consider it cheating, and he also sees it as cheating or he would not be asking for another chance. I never put up with cheating when I was younger, but now I have been married for almost 12 years. I would really have to think long and hard about it. It took me a long time to trust my husband, as I am sure it is the same for you. You really need to talk it out with him. Why did continue such a thing knowing your past? Is the woman just trying to stir things up because she wants their relationship to change, but it won't because he is with you? I wish you luck working everything out.

For me, it's a form of cheating. But I believe everybody deserves a second chance. If I were you, give him the pleasure of it. If you think he wont change after that then that's the reason for you to call it quits. I hope you find your time to really think about it. It would be your decision in the end anyway. Good Luck to you.

Do you guys have children together? If so, give him another chance. Dont stay with him just because of the children but try to make it work for them because you didnt catch him actually "cheating". I would give him another chance expessially after 10 years. If this was the first time this has ever happend maybe it was just something small and innocent. Good luck.

give him another chance but put him in a short leash.

To be error is the human being.If he really have repented on that matter,and would also like to move on with you,I think you should give him a chance.And I think 10 years' deep of love has given both you two more.My dear friend,make up your mind before thinking twice!

my opion is yea he lied to you for awhile on talking to another girl but like you said he didnt do nothing and really didnt see her much so i would try to sit down and tell him you want the whole truth of what went on if he wants to still be with you he will be honest but did he tell her they were dateing cause you mentioned the lady said they have been seeing eachother since last year and if you really love him and you feel he can be true and honest to you maybe try giving him a second chance we are human and make mistakes and this one isnt good but could have been worse so i would just sit down and try to talk to him good luck on what you decide

Well if you still love him then forget everything , if you can't take it go and divorce and settle everything yea don't hold it for too long yea as it drags both party will be in pain yea

I would not want to take the chance with my husband and some other woman. I would first do my research and make sure that she's not just scamming me, trying to give him a bad reputation. If she is, I'get the police involved. If they really are somehow involved, I'd get rid of the husband.

My question would be has it been a good ten years. If it as I would give him another chance. If it hasn't I would be asking myself if he is cheating and if not with this women with someone else. But a good ten year marriage is to precious to throw away because of a mistake made one time.

That's a really tough situation, and I'm sorry you have to go through all of this! This is ultimately your decision, but if this were happening to me I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd give him another chance, but I wouldn't allow him back into my life completely. He must know that he's hurt you and that you're having a hard time trusting him after what he's done. If he really wants to be back in your life for good, he needs to somehow prove himself to you. After something like this happens, it's only human nature to doubt and question a man's motives. It's hard to know without having more background on your situation, but I would hope your husband isn't begging to come back into your life only to have a place to stay at night and when he's not working. Take it from me, it's a crazy place out there. You can't be too careful. You don't have to antagonize him or anything, but stick around when he gets home and be observant of everything he's doing and where he's going. I know you mentioned you checked the phone records. That's a good start; however, if he's not talking to this woman on the phone, he's probably seeing her more in person and thus wouldn't have a need to call her on the phone. I really hope things work out between the two of you. If your husband has hurt you, you don't deserve anymore of it. I'm not in favor of divorce as much as I am honesty in a relationship and getting things worked out, but if there's no way around it and you know for a fact that he's having an affair (if that's the case, which might not be true), you aren't obligated to put up with any of it, especially considering your past experiences. If you truly love him, though, I would seriously consider trying to work things out if I were you. Perhaps counseling could help also. Best of luck to the both of you, my dear!

He still cheated you when you start keeping secrets and telling lies its cheating however me personally if everything else is good id give him another chance. I did with my partner after he did almost the exact same thing and I can honestly say things have never been better than they are right now. Everyone deserves a second chance if you feel your 10 years is worth fighting for then fight for it and make it work, I know when my partner did it i couldnt give up on the 6 years we had been together just like that him and our family as we were, were worth fighting for. He needs to make amends though and show you he is sorry, take some time to talk things over and make your choice then dont do it rashly as you might come to regret the choice you make xxx

I would get rid of him, he is obviously not faithful, whether physically or mentally. Personally I would rather be physically cheated on than mentally cheated, because I think physically (one night stand) means less.