How Do You Bring Back the Trust in the Relationship

Oh Diorelle, you're revengeful my dear and who wins? no one, both of you are losers. In every relationship, there were ups and downs specially on both of you who are in your early stage of living together. Trusts is being earned, not just given. If you love your man, you should forgive him and I'm sure the very reason why he did not tell you about this "someone" emailing him is he thinks it's not a big deal. If he doesn't love you, he will not marry you and choose you over that special someone. We wives should work our best to keep the relationship harmonious and would not push our husband away from us. What you did is pushing him away by taking a revenge. Believe it or not, in our 12 years of marriage we did not quarrel even once. the secret? trust him and he will do the same. I do admit that sometimes we argue, but we do it by making our reasons understood minus that yelling and cursing and digging up the past. We never yell each other and I'm proud of my achievement as his wife. You can do it Diorelle just be patient and always pray.

im in the same situation right now, and its really hard to trust again. we've been married for 2 years now, and he started changing half way of that 2 years. we've been into lot of fight, some are really ugly to tell. right now im trying to count my options. we have a son by the way. one would be talking things out. we are still on that stage. but also im not closing my doors on separation. permanently or for the time being. permanently of course is living your own lives. for the time being means giving yourselves time to think things over. a rest from each other if the situation is too much. also try to talk to someone who will not tell you do things, but give you options on how to deal with your problems.

You will have to be adult in your decisions and behaviour-calling your ex to spite him and his calling his ex to get back at you [if he does it again] will lead you nowhere. If you want to stay with your husband , first of all, you need peace. You will have to talk to him straight and come to an agreement to keep all these ex es at bay. Only then it will work[goes without saying that you will have to stand by your agreement] Only "trust begets trustworthiness"AND suspicion would only breed counter moves and arguments and fights. Secondly, in any relationship there is likely to be a slightly greater compromise on one partner's side. If you are a woman who upholds the cause of women and is going to stand by the rule that he has to give in then you will have to wait. On the other hand if you decide to 'stoop to conquer' then you can approach him straightaway, talk to him and come to some sort of compromise[you will have to shed your ego a bit and admit to an impulsive reaction of calling the ex .You can assure him that it was just reaction and that you are now regretting it.

This is one thing that always destroys every marriage, trust. Well, there is no quick solutions to solve that problem at all. One thing that made your relationship worse was the revenge thing that you did to get even. It made him more irritated than ever. But then what was done was already done and the only thing you could do is if you still want to save your marriage or not? Right now all that is there in your relationship is all about negatives. I would advice let it pass then talk when both of you are not that such hotheaded. I say to you there is no better way to solve this thing is through a peaceful and meaningful talk about how you still love or hate each other.

For me, Inorder to trust will come back to the relationship. You should WORK and EARN with it. Prove that you are deserving to be trusted again. Once you lose it. It's really hard and difficult to get it back. In your case, it's just really a small issue for now. So better talk with it and make him explain and you should willing also to listen. Give him some other chance. And if you are satisfied then good. But if not..its up to you.

My opion is that if you and your husband really want to be together you will be able to make it. When you think about it yes he mad a mistake and he proble regrets it because guys never realize what they have until they almost lose it. Yea you didnt make the greatest decision when you wrote your ex because that means you made the same mistake he made. So I guess if you both really want to make your relationship work then you both have to put your all into it because if one of you dont want it as much as the other than it wont work out. So good luck I wish the best for you.

i think i can understand the situation. but what ever may be, i fear the damage is already done.from both of you and your husband's sidfe, you somehow came in contact with the ex, as it is tough for you to blieve him, its same with him too.talk with him frankly how you felt. it can be of help.

I think it is sad that you think fighting is a part of a marriage. I have been with my guy for 16 years and I can count the number of fights we've had on my fingers and toes. They are never that serious and we always make up before we go to sleep. Things aren't always perfect but you can't let jealousy ruin a good thing. If you really truly love each other then trust comes naturally. My hubby kept in contact with an ex girlfriend for years and it used to bug me. There was nothing going on and I knew he had chosen me and not her and that said a lot. I am glad I let them remain friends because she passed away recently and if I had stopped the friendship I think he would have resented it. I think until he breaks the trust by continuing to be sneaky you should give him a break. I think the two of you need to have a long talk. Lack of communication in a relationship is bad. I wish you all the luck in the world because once things are good there will be no looking back.

I will put them on another test to see if they really earned that trust once again. It is hard to believe on someone once they broke the trust ../. it is just hard to gain trust again that easy

Hi DiorelleBabe, I think it's better to have it a light moment. Talk to him when you feel that you're not angry. I totally understand how you feel. When you and him sort things out, I suggest that you talk all to him. And he should also. I think he knows also what he has done was wrong so you must meet halfway in order to sort things out. Build your Trust by falling in love again. Both of you should make an effort.

Hi there. Trush needs to be gained again in the relationship. You started to lose trust to your partner because he lied to you about something so both of you should start to be honest with each other. Your love for him will tell you if he is really telling the truth, you will feel that. From then, I believe you can work things out since you love each other. From there, maybe you can start trusting each other. I hope this helps. Goodluck!

Hey thats very much sad that you are having the problems with your husband.Trust is the thing on which a relation survives and if once it is broken then the things really become opposite to you but it doesn't means the things are over. I think you are wrong at your place at this time and you need not to do all that what you did but anyways now listen up! you should try convincing him that all the things were just the misunderstandings and need not to be aggressive anymore and just go and tell him what you want to express and whats going in your heart and then leave the things upto him and i am sure if he really understands you, he will surely forget what happened and you will be together again ,trust just have faith in you and god. Just go and express. I know building up of the trust is not that much easy we think but still its not the impossible and you know impossible can be turned to be (i m possible). go ahead and my best wishes are with you. God bless you!!

hi there. i think what you and your husband need it a fresh start. all people make mistakes and in order to build again that lost trust, both of you should be open with each other and be more honest. that's what you should do. i'm sure you'll gain each other's trust little by little.

As you say trust is hard to earn and build, what you two should do in my view is to accept the fact that you made wrong turns by embarking to your ex. Just sit together talk it over and move forward, Neither of you should try get back to where you were

You will have to communicate with your husband in details and you need to understand his 'real intentions' behind any revival of his past link. You should clearly express your displeasure to him and tell him that 'mutual trust' between married couple is must, even anyone breaks that relationship is likely to be spoiled. You need to tell him his duties towards you as a husband. Also, tell him that trust once lost between you and him, would be difficult to regain. Best of Luck to you!!

Trust is the ultimate foundation of a relationship. Especially one that of marriage. No matter how understanding you guys are to each other, its quite impossible to have a harmonious relationship if at the back of your mind you have doubts about your husband. Getting even is half as bad... I hope both of you are into sorting things out and making everything alright. It may not be perfect and shaky on the onset. Try going on a second honeymoon. Dine out and talk amicably. Rekindle what made you guys fall for each other and somehow keep your vow of fidelity to each other. It may not be easy but definitely you have to start somewhere. Good luck to you guys. Remember to keep the Lord in the center of your relationship. Besides, its the Lord who bonded you together.