When A Friendship is Over
By dolce_vita78
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
Philippines
April 22, 2008 8:23am CST
Most friendships die a natural death: people move, change jobs, accept new responsibilities, or embark on different stages of life. Other friendships, however, end prematurely and abruptly. When a friendship is over and you don't understand why, it can be especially painful and puzzling. Sometimes a friend ends your relationship without telling you why you’ve been dropped. I have experienced this with a very close friend of mine and I tell, you, it really hurts big time! Sometimes a friend ends your relationship without expressing hurt feelings towards you.
The loss of friendship might be worth reflecting on. Knowing when a friendship is over and why it ended may help you build stronger friendships in the future.
4 people like this
16 responses
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I think I saw a friend I haven't seen for maybe 15 years.. I only saw him as I was driving through a Macdonald's drive through.. he was next door talking on a phone, but not close enough to me to be sure.. but he sure looked like him (he was like a brother to me at one time) he had a little bit of gray.. the same posture, maybe a tiny wee bit of a gut.. healthy one tho.. looked so much like him, but by time I drove round there was no sight of him.. lost this friend through he and his wife's divorce I guess.. I lost track of both of them
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
I hope that the next time you see him, you will have the chance to talk.. Take care flowerchilde!
1 person likes this
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
this just happened to me... i just dont know what happened. before when i text her she will reply. if she is busy she will reply 2 days after but still reply. the last time she text me was january. i always greet her or send her text or jokes or quotes but no reply. i even greeted her happy easter still no response. i dont know what is happening with her and in our part there is nothing we can do but just wait. sometimes i feel guilty but there is nothing to be guilty of. i think people really change and sometimes when they change they forget. i can not really explain exactly how hurt i am but i am really hurt. we are friends for 8 years already and all vanish with no reason at all. 
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
It's actually been months since I heard from this friend of mine... But it still really hurts...
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
yes mine is months already too. i think we are both sentimental people. we cherish something so much that we want to find out (really) what is going on. a lot of why and how in our minds. i just hope we both find out the reason why. i hope to that she was just busy.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
22 Apr 08
I experienced this but I know it was both our fault and good thing is we were both open to talk about it. After a year of choosing not to talk to her, we finally decided to talk and pour out all our bad feelings with each other, our frustration and our being weak during the moment of trials! I am glad that this time, we were very close again although we are far, we always find time to drop messages to each other!Honestly, the moment of silence was painful and at the same time help us to become more mature in our friendship!
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
I hope one day, my friend and I will be able to talk too...
@amyhendricks77 (828)
• United States
22 Apr 08
So sorry for your loss. Maybe things will work out with time. Good luck :)
1 person likes this
@chocolate_monette (61)
• United States
22 Apr 08
My friends and me are far from each other now. We all got married and live in different countries. One of them just stopped communicating. We do not know what happened to her. I still send email to her until recently. We were so close before (I even treated her more than a sister) and now, she just did not seem to care at all. I am thinking, that maybe, she is not a friend at all. As far as I can remember, I helped her a lot on many things. I was just saddened by the fact that she just dropped it all.
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
I think that's just really how things are... It's sad but at one point, it just makes us aware of human nature...
@subha12 (18441)
• India
23 Apr 08
its really hurts very much. more so when a very close friendship ends up abruptly in sorry notes.i have this experience. i was very good friend with someone. i could not understand that he was acting to get advantages from me. later he behaved very badly and it ended very badly.
1 person likes this
@littlewhite (256)
• China
23 Apr 08
it is ture that this conditon happen time and time.
1 person likes this
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
23 Apr 08
That's so true! I recently has an "ending" friendship with a friend. We were online friends and we talked almost everyday. Then suddenly, we stopped talking and I didn't know why. My friend sent me an email like once a month mentioning how busy life was. But I got the sense that the friend is just disappearing. I don't understand and it hurts. But I guess it's a part of life and I treasure my loyal friends more.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
23 Apr 08
most of my friendships have ended quite naturally through either moving on or disagreements. If a friend suddenly ended a friendship and I had no clue as to why, I would try to talk to that friend and I would let them know how much I value their friendship...I would really want to know why it ended.
1 person likes this
@jhoannejoj (963)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
Oh how sad.. I dont know if I can really define such relationship with my previous colleague as "friendship." I had some good memories with her but there was a certain instance that concerned with my work, our relationship also ended. I sometimes wonder why, but there are just really people who come to our live to teach us something, to bruised us and sometimes a come and go people. One way or another they caused pain, yet there are also friends whom we can say for real and for keeps that will vanish those pain away.
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
I agree.. Well, I guess I'll just have to hold on to those good memories...
@jesbellaine (4139)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
Hi There Dolce! I am very sorry to hear that from you. I have experienced that as well only in a different stage. We both ended the friendship without knowing it... People grows but sometimes they grow apart from each other. There had been a rift between us but somewhere somehow when I think of her, I know that we will still meet in certain circumstances... Maybe there we could you know... talk to each other.
I lost her yes but there are many good and true friends I met in my life and I am really thankful for that. What I have learned is cherish the persons you still have in your life. I hope you get through this. Take care!
1 person likes this
@mario99457 (4)
• India
22 Apr 08
Hi Dolce,
I know the pain of leaving someone whom u like.Its even worse if its ur best friend and if for a silly reason.
Cos I m in the same situation as u.And no matter how much u care for them.Infact who cares???? Like a sweet saying
"Life is very short make it happening" and thats how we should live.As per your last sentance I agree but you cant get back the same friendship right???Once gone is gone forever.
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
As per your last sentence I agree but you cant get back the same friendship right???Once gone is gone forever.
Well, we can always have new friends and even if the friendship we have with these new friends will not be the same as that which we have had and lost, what matters is that we do have new friends...
@Lazysheep (54)
• China
23 Apr 08
hi! dolce_vita! Take care anyway!~~ In my opinion, there is nothing we can't get over. Just need some time to forget the past sufferings, and then, we are still we, and making new friends. Yeah~~ you know, with the time, things will change, he or she who ever was your best friend will go somewhere to do pursue those dreams. so just let it go. hope you fine soon.
1 person likes this
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
24 Apr 08
yeah i agree because you are already aware how friend runs to both individual. friends is not only thinking you are friend , so that's all. if your friendship did grow firmly definitely it will drop an a sudden situation that you wonder why it happens. much better having a quality friend than a quantity friend.
@chechuva (1275)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
i don't say that friendship ends when they move miles away, if we change job.. its communication that matters in this situations.
i have best friends that moved miles miles away, but our friendship didn't end.
i believe friendship ends when someone break ones trust or neither of them didn't make an effort to communicate. i also experience this. things started to change when she betrayed me. we haven't had a chance to talk about it. it feels really bad. it makes me feel so alone..
