how old does a child need to be?
By only1shi
@only1shi (404)
United States
April 27, 2008 12:56am CST
in your opinion, how old does a child need to be before you think that they can understand the consequences of punishment? i used to teach pre-k in a daycare, and i have seen all kinds of children and their different behaviors.
now that i have a child of my own, i think that i look at things differently. my daughter is 9 months old and she is in the beginning stages of walking. she already gets into any and everything that she can see. i have started spanking her on her hand when she tries to play with something that could harm her.
i have gotten some sideways glances from people when i say this, but i need to do what i feel is ultimately best for my child. she used to always play with the vcr/dvr combo and after about a week of getting spanked, she no longer plays with it. she may look at it and all you have to do now is say her name sternly and she leaves it alone. but i think that she gets it.
even though she may cry initially when i spank her hand, i truly believe that she has begun to associate that feeling with something that she's not supposed to do. i also think that she avoids those things so as to not feel that way again.
like i asked in the beginning, how old do you think a child needs to be?
5 responses
@mattdan919 (3)
•
27 Apr 08
in my opinion it can be fairly early on, perhaps 8 months, i believe they start to realise just what they can and can't do and will be very beneficial later on in life
@jrsmith (292)
• United States
27 Apr 08
In early stages of life when children are crawling and walking for the first time if you pop their hand and say no then they will remember that. As they begin to talk and even before say thank-you and you welcome and they will learn it. I have a nephew and his wife have the most amazing kids. At age 3&5 they have more manners than many adults. It is no thank you, yes maam, please, yes sir etc. I admire them and congratulate them on such well mannered and behaved kids.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
27 Apr 08
The earlier the better. But again....children associate things at different ages. Not all kids are the same. I teach kindergarten...have handled Pre-K kids earlier and have a 7.5 year old and a 17 month old of my own. My older son was quick to grasp things...and when he was very young and would try to touch things that he wasn't supposed to...I started with a firm ' Do not touch'...and he learnt it with no problems. But my younger one takes longer to get the message even when he gets taps on his hand. He is into everything (my older son hardly did that).
But the thing here is to be consistent....what my older one learnt at one go...might take the younger one 5,6 or maybe 10-20 tries to learn. But we have to keep at it.
I do not believe in kids being kids till they are old enough to understand (adult's version)...around the age of 5 or so.....it's just going to get harder then...because they are more independant.
My father did that with me...and I do it with my kids...I wouldn't say punishment...but I would call it disciplining....because I use my words first and would use the tap only when that fails.
@jhl930 (3601)
• United States
27 Apr 08
i think that a child can learn the meaning of punishment at a early age...i mean every child is different, but i honestly think that when their like five or six they can learn what is right and what is wrong for the most part...like not to do something or to do something whenever you are ask to by your parents...but i mean all kids are different like i hav said...
@kezabelle (2974)
•
27 Apr 08
At a baby age definatley below 18 months when everything to them is a learning I always found it to be cruel to punish mychild for doing what was only coming naturally and that was exploring their enviroment.
I prefer not to smack my children and before turning two if they did something I would simply say No and remove them and keep on doing it until they learnt that they werent supposed to touch, maybe a smack would have made that lesson hit home quicker but personally have worked in nurserys and controlled a room of up to 25 two years old without only 2 others to help me and never resorting to smacking I dont see the need for it.
Once over about two they would get sat on the floor told why they shouldnt do it and made to sit their for 2 minutes, elder at 4 sits on the stairs to "think" about what she did. Its worked fine for us and ok so they have "naughty" moments but thats natural exploring of boundaries
