when you are asked to pull the plug, can you do it:?
@Hatley (163776)
Garden Grove, California
April 27, 2008 6:08pm CST
I was just remembering a thing that a co workeronced said when someone questioned her about when should you tell the medical crew to pull the pull on a loved one. and she had replied I would have no trouble at all as I would not want my relative to suffer.
well I was in that same situation a number of years after that and I did not feel like she did because I felt just as if someone had handed me a loaded gun and told me to shoot my husband just because it looked like he might die. I just could not do that. Its not that I wanted my husband to suffer but I did not want to be the one who killed him. so my son said lets call his sister as she must be told anyway and see what she says.I called his sister betty and she said honey just let it go for awhile.tell the doctors to wait until tomorrow morning. So that is what I did. I got a call from the hospital two hours later and he had expired naturally. no need to pull the plug. My question to you mylotters is what would you have done in the same circumstances?
5 people like this
14 responses
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
28 Apr 08
Oh Hatley what a horrible situation to be in, I could not do it either. God forbid that it ever happens but if it did I would not make the decision to switch off life support unless I was absolutely 100% in myself that there was no hope. Even if I had to leave it for days or weeks I would not do it.
2 people like this
@my4kids1973 (24)
• United States
28 Apr 08
i dont know its hard we had to make that decesion with my mother but my brothers made the decesion i dont think i ever could it is hard to let go
2 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
28 Apr 08
it would be sad,but yes i would do it.
in the case of my mom,she already has a do not recesitate (sp?) order,and i know that's her wishes.
i would still feel guilty in a way,but i'd remind myself it's what they wanted.
2 people like this
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
28 Apr 08
My family had to do that same very thing last August with my dad. He went in the hospital on August 3rd with what was thought to be pneumonia and possible heart attack. He was put on a ventilator and couldn't be weaned off of it, and he never regained ground. My mother and sister and I remained in the room with him until he passed on to be with our Heavenly Father.
It was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do, but knowing he is now in a better place than we are we have came to terms with our decision. I miss him everyday!
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 08
terri I left to take care of something at home and never got to say goodbye and all theseyears later its still haunted me.I mean he probably would not have heard me but I needed to do it for myself. God took the ultimate decision out of my hands and I know my hubbys in a much better place too
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
28 Apr 08
Hatley..I'm so sorry you had to go through that and it would probably be the hardest thing for me to do too..I have told my children that i don't want to suffer if that ever happens to me, but no one knows what to do in that case and Hopefully i never have to.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 08
that is it Rosekitty you just do not know how you would feel until you are faced with it.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
28 Apr 08
Sweetie I could not have done it either and I think it is the most awful thing anyone has to do
I am so glad that you did not have to do that your loving Husband went on his own and I believe that he knew you could not do it and did not want you to go through that
To answer your Question I would have done like you
Hugs to you
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Apr 08
you know I had prayed to
god to tell me what to go and about an hour later the hospital phoned me to tell me he had expired. So God does answer prayers for us.
@k1tten (2318)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I'm not sure. I feel as if I would let them go then. If I knew they were in too much pain to bear or if they'd never recover, I would let them go. I know they'd do the same. I'd want them to let me go. Leting someone suffer that way has to be horrible
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 08
kitten its so easy to say that but waituntil you yourself are faced with that. you are inshock you are trying to do what is right and you love this person that the doctors want to plull the plug on. its so different when you are not the one who is put in that position.
1 person likes this
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
i cant. morally, because i am raised to that and no because i dont want to, no because we dont have the right to do it. what if he/she still have the chance to live. miracles do happen and i believe that prayers can move mountains. BUT i can not speak for people who had been to that shoe. if i am in that situation where one of my love one is suffering. maybe i can and maybe i cant. if i see one of my love ones suffering too much. ohh hatley this is hard.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
28 Apr 08
That would be a very very hard decision to make. One of the things is I think couples should talk about situations like this possibly happening and find out what your other half would wish. Talk about it in depth. Know what the other person feels about living on a machine. My Dad and Mom talked about it because he had colon cancer and he got really really bad at the end. He told her that under no circumstances was she to allow the doctors at the hospital to put him on a life saving machine. He said first he would not desire to live that way and second he had lived a full and fruitful life. Then Mom said that he said that all the machine would do is sustain his body and his mind would not be there and therefore drain her of her money. I think taking all this in to consideration I would have a hard time to pull the plug but the quality of life is no longer present and I would want my loved one to be able to leave this world in a respectful way.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Apr 08
sunshinelady we were amiss in not talking that issue over and then when it hit it was too late. but the thing was that the day before i was told he was getting better so this all came as a real shock to me. but anyway
God took over the ultimate decision.
1 person likes this
@kellys3ps (3723)
• United States
4 May 08
I think I would have a very difficult time doing it. A friend of mine was suffering with terminal cancer. I went over to visit, and during the visit she had difficulty breathing. I called an ambulance and she was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. Later on she asked me why I didn't just let her die - I couldn't do it - it was just a natural instinct to want to keep her alive. Unfortunately she passed away a few months later, but I would have felt horrible if I had not tried to help her, and I am sure I would have a hard time pulling the plug on a loved one.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
12 May 08
that was my problem when faced with it I just could not do
that. if there was any hope I had to chance it.
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I am sorry you had to go through that kind of a situation...It is a very hard decision for anyone to make and for me it would be just as hard...My husband does not want any means of life support so that won't be a choice that I will be making...If CPR is not enough then that is it..He doesn't want me to have to make the choice to take him off of life support...
2 people like this
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
28 Apr 08
After watching my mom suffer then eventually die from cancer i think i could pull the plug.
Her cancer was terminal, and she was constantly in pain my mom slept little and cried alot.So after going through that i would not let another person i love suffer that way and i hope they would do the same for me.
2 people like this
