What would you have said to your Kid?

well, I am really the wrong person to ask cause my experience in such situations is almost zero. but, here what my heart would say. if you are telling your son that have done it before that will give an impression that it is okay to do it. so, I just not to do it, you may fabricate a story telling that your friend been there and how destroying that would be. on, the other side, if you are going strict with your son that would make him run a away from you and the bad friends will be his Idol instead of you. you have to make your son your best friend and make him tell you everything. well, I really do not know how to do that. AS i told you I have no experience in such situations but I guess you are able to do it. best wishes for you.

I would tell him/her the truth about my life, because I would want my children to be close to me

This is one of those situations where I would have to do a bit of both. Sit him down as explain to him that while I understood his interest, I would also have to say "been there, done it, it ain't clever" I would explain the dangers and the risks and hope that he would take it all on board.

My kids already know about my past experiences and they haven't even done them yet so yes I would tell. It isn't a secret for me. I am an open book to them. I am super honest with them. So if they ask I give age appropriate honest answers. I would also add my moral believes on how I feel about the subject today.

i would do what you did. i mean it is horrible, but if you tell them dont do this they will do it just in spite of you. either way, they are gonig to do it. at least you let him know that there are consequences. i think the best way of parenting a teeen is by showing them you arent doing it just because...you do have reasons for it.

No way would i play the heavy handed parent role,i think you will l get more success if you just tell him of your own experiences,then he can judge for himself.Like you say you have a right to know whats happening in your own home and thats the truth of it.But we all go through the stage of experimenting,and though its scary to be a bystander and watch what is going on without saying much,its better to say less in my view.The more you dig your heels in re the weed the more the trouble will probably flare up.Its hell being a parent and watching them do things that are harmful,but thats part of the learning that life makes us go through.Take care .

Cyn, we are very open with our children.. My older boys lived through our "mistakes" so talking to them was essential. With Jake he has seen what mistakes caused his brothers to go through and the trouble it lead them into, so again being open and honest is the only way we can be with him. I don't think you can be a good parent if you are not a real person to your children. I mean kids don't often realize that their parents are people that has loved, hurt, been broken, enjoyed music and youth just the same as they are. We have been there done that, and sometimes it costs us a great deal. I am with you, in that what is in my home is my business and that includes your room, computer and telephone.

Moreso than ever these days if you tell your kids, or encourage them NOT to do something they will just go harder at it. Also, it's hypocritical I think to tell your kids not to do something that you did. That basically leaves encouraging or allowing your kids to do something with provisions and limits. Of course, also these days most parents are both working and kids are left on their own a lot (this is where the trouble starts I believe) so it's terribly difficult to be with your children when they are at home. We don't know where they are, whom they are with or what they are doing, so I find it really hard to give you an answer to this problem. We can be as honest as we like with our kids but unless we have laid the foundations from the time they are little about openness and honesty and trust and family, there is no way the majority of kids are going to confide the whole truth to their parents.

I think that i would be honest with him as its part of parenting then play the parent also .he will respect you more for knowing you are human too and also that you do now know it was not a good choice.He knows parents are humans too.

I would admit the truth, the only way we explain ourselves properly is by our own experiences. Also if you expect him to tell you the truth, like has he done it since you found the pot, the least he expects from you is honesty. It might help him understand why you disapprove so much. It might help talking to all our children then, your son wont feel like he's being picked on or something!! Hope tour able to sort this out!!

I would probably explain what I did and how it effected me - it's always better to be honest as otherwise if your kid found out then it would be a case of saying how can you tell me not to do it attitude rather than tryinmg to explain why you stopped and why they need to because of how it will effect them. Hope you get it all sorted together! x