Help! My 16 year old daughter has a boyfriend!

Sorry it took so long to respond, I moved this past weekend. Anyway, roseidhaya, I agree with your ideas of respect. I will soon fix the problem. Time for a mother lecture.

Thanks for the response,Tabby123. I just hope it's not too late. He has now dropped the "I love you, can't live without you, you make me so happy, want to spend the rest of my life with you...." bomb. Of course, all the things every girl wants to hear. There is no doubt she has very strong feelings for him, and I trust her judgement somewhat, that she will decide on her own when to rid of him. She is very adamant about going to college and nursing school, and no-one or nothing will stop her from doing that. THANK GOD!

Sorry it took so long to respond, I just moved last weekend. Maybe so, sedel1027. She is trustworthy somewhat. She does tell me everything. But she is also very strong willed. If he ever hit her, she would probably kill him. She can hold her own. But on the other hand, she doesn't wear make-up because he forbids it. We'll see what happens. I'm riding low but watching every move. Thanks for the input.

Sorry it took so long to respond, but I've been moving this past weekend. Some people had to work and didn't have to move a thing. But you are correct and I know it. I guess I just want my daughter to be able to tell me everything and confide in me. I never had that with my parents. I was closer to my mother and could tell her most things, but not like I wanted to or needed to tell her. I'm guilty! I've allowed them to get too comfortable around the house and I hope there's still a chance to fix it. I hope and pray my marriage is not affected by this. It's just that "tough love" has never been easy for me.

Thanks for responding blueangel_7298. We are very open with her and she knows how we feel. We could try making a little more difficult for them to be together without making her rebel.

Well qdietz, my daughter has been seeing this boy for 8 months. She actually doesn't tell him everything because she doesn't want there to be a conflict. She knows how we feel. But just like I was when I was 16, my parents don't know any better. Believe me, my husband won't mind talking to the thorn himself. We are just running out of patience and know she can do so much better. All we can do is keep our fingers crossed and guide her in the right direction. Forcing her to break up with him would only cause her to rebel and end up on the street. Thanks so much for your insight. I'm glad to hear from someone your age.

Thanks for your input, lingli_78. You and my husband share the same views. However, Im the tolerant and patient parent, and I handle things much differently. Which has burned me several times. The only arguments we have are usually because of her. I was able to tell my mother most things but not everything. My father was a minister, so much like you and my husband, his ideas of respecting his house and what goes on in it, is imperative. I guess I want my daughter and I to have a similiar relationship like I did with my mother. Thankfully, she knows she can come to me about anything, but I feel she has taken advantage of my understanding. Now I have to show tough love and that is very difficult for me to do.

Not a problem. I do know how life off the computer happens and often takes precedent even if we don't want it to. I wish you luck with this and by the sound of it you are going to need it. Since bud nipping is out it's time to get out the big loppers and just cut him off at the knees . Sit him and your daughter down and let them both know how you and that enough is enough. That might send him running for the hills.

Most recent update, emeraldisle; he recently got furious with us(my husband and me) because we would not allow her to spend the night at his house even with his parents home. He stormed out of the house, squeeled hsi tires while she was running after him down the driveway. He never did stop. He got home and wouldn't answer the phone. Finally she spoke with him and he told her "it was f-ing over because of your parents". I thought it was the happiest day of my life. Until the next day, he apologized to her and fixed her a nice dinner and wrote her a mushy letter(the 1st one he's ever written her in alomost 9 months of going out.) Of course, she took him back. But the ball seems to be in her court now, and I feel she wont' take any more crap from him. I drilled it in her head how much of a controlling a** he was and shame on her if it happens a second time. Thanks for your comments that I much needed to hear. Her father and I have reached the end of our ropes and will turn to the police for a possible restraining order if need be. I can keep you posted on the outcome. Thanks again....

Thanks for the respone, emeraldisle. Sorry it took so long to respond, I just moved this past weekend. Anyway, I have spoken with her and she knows how we feel. My husband has just about ran out of patience with the whole situation, and now It's up to me to fix this. I've allowed it to go on too long. Too late for bud nipping now.

Unfortunately katisaurus, he has dropped the "I love you, can't live without you, you make me so happy" BOMB on her recently. She has very strong feelings for him and says she loves him. I'm not doubting that. It does feel good when someone you care about tells you those things. I trust she will rid of him in her own time. She is very strong willed and tell him when she's ready.

Thanks for your questions, ifnalife. But I am very aware of what goes on when we are not home. She tends to forget that I was once 16 and wild hormones too. We do have rules regarding this. She's pretty good at following them. Besides, her younger brother(my son), rats her out everytime.

AHH the P word. Yes, patience is something my husband has ran out of. I'm a very tolerant and patient person. So, I've got to hold it together for the both of us, or there may be a missing person. Just kidding! Seriously though, she is very strong willed, thankfully. She will rid of him in her own time. I've got to trust her and her judgement.

Thanks so much for your insight, jer31558. I feel the same way that she should deal with this on her own, but she doesn't want to get rid of the problem right now. Wow, this whole bringing up teenagers, a beautiful daughter no less, is really hard and trying on my faith and beliefs. I was raised with very strict parents. My father was a minister and need I say more?? I was the youngest of four and I was the black sheep. But I never got away with things kids do today.

Unfortunately, she "loves" this guy, and "momma doesn't know any better." So the tactful way of "get lost" is great, but that may cause more damage. I feel I have to be very careful in every word I say and every move I make. Thanks for the input.

My daughter is almost 17. So the torture is hopefully almost over. She does at least really want to go to nursing school after she graduates. I just can't wait until her "grown up" stage arrives. I will take only 1 day at a time. Thank you for your words of wisdom.