Can I Just Slap My Hubby Please?

I have been in your shoes. I wasn't calm...so I don't really know what to give for advice. Just breathe. I was pregnant with our daughter and living here away from family...my husband was gone a lot for work too. I lost it on him one day after he didn't call...again. I am a worrier; so if he is late I fear that he is laying in a ditch! All I ask for is a simple phone call telling me that he is fine but will be late. Not too much to ask for. Thankfully he has finally learned. I hope you can get through to your husband. Mine finally started to re-work his "work" and created more family time. It wasn't easy but he managed it. I feel your pain.

If I admit to being awake is that also admitting to being old? Anyway. Anger is not healthy for you, your baby, or your relationship. I have a code that I live by. It is the 'What is more important to me' code. I know those phone calls are important. But are they the most important? Or is your husband and your relationship more important? I know the answer. So do you. If the phone call is more important, feel free to yell and scream. Holler and stomp your feet. Hell, throw a knife at him. lol But the phone call isn't what is important here. It is your love for him and the fact the, in the back of your mind, he made you worry. Uncertainty does not feel good. It takes a little pinch out of your self-esteem if you allow thoughts like 'I'm not worth a phone call', 'That stupid job is more important than his family'. Am I wrong? Love him. Men are different than women. God made us that way. It is ok. Men think logically....'I am finally done and can go home, I will call her on my way.' I will bet you $50 that the thought of you worrying never crossed his mind. He knows he is a big boy and can take care of things. Why should you worry? If it was you out way longer than you said the primative man would come out in an instant....Me great white hunter, must protect woman! Be gentle with him. He loves you. Welcome him home with open arms and a kiss. It works so much better than anger. PS. If I loose that bet, just take it off the charge for the therapy bill. LOL!!

My hubby worked long hours too and I would get on to him for not coming right home (he stopped at the bar) and I would hunt him down . The kids were mostly in bed by the time he got home. and he worked alot of weekends too. So I just had to do the mom AND dad things really the only time I asked him for any advice on the kids was if it was really big things that came up and then he would say he would leave it up to me So just go along with it men have to work to pay the bills and maybe he will make up for it some time hugs

I know he has no excuse for not calling from work, but with his cell phone, do you think there's a possibility he might have charged it up at work, after he spoke to you? I think maybe your hormones are a little wobbly, with your being pregnant and you have to be careful not to stress out at hubby over this. Try to pick a time when you can talk calmly with him, without yelling, and tell him how you've been feeling. Ask him if he can make a special effort to get home a little earlier from now on. I'm sure he'll appreciate your wanting him there, and if you stay calm, he'll probably oblige too! Brightest Blessings. x

maybe he is working harder since something is on the way. work can be very addicting, it is in his sytem but you have to understand him , he got that habit of doing things right away but i know that is not a very good a reasonable excuse to take you for granted. instead of getting mad a t him, i would suggest that you talk to him , heart to heart, concerning your issues about his work ethics, tell him it is ok to work during the day but heas to find time to be with you, as in no work in between, just you and him and spend quality time sharing and doing things you use to do. tell him if he can squeeze in some appointments in his busy schedule or make calls in between and go to meetings then he is intelligent enough to give you more time , since he knows about time managemnt. make it work in his life not only in work.tell him.

Go ahead & vent! I have a similar issue with my husband at certain times of the year with his work - he works on a farm & sows & harvests all the crops. 9 months of the year he works very long hours and LOTS of weekends. Before we had children it wasn't so bad, and sometimes I would go and sit on the Harvester or tractor with him for a while, even after we had our first son I used to take the baby out & we would hop on with him for a while but it was harder on me & our son hated dad not being around. Now we have 2 boys under 3 (they are 17 months apart) and it's hard to go & sit with him with 2 kids, sometimes the older one gets on with him for 1/2 hour but we still miss out on seeing him. There is nothing he can do about it, he loves his job, we love the lifestyle here and have no intentions of leaving so we have to deal with it, but I get very angry when he hasn't been home much then goes off to do something leaving us without him again. It's frustrating isn't it!

He may have started charging his cell phone as soon as he got off the phone with you, as you said, he said, it was going out. I understand your being upset about him having to work late. If he can do something about it, then talk to him. If he can't, you may just have to bite the bullet until things change.

no, you may not slap your hubby. But, you may (after you have calmed down and talked yourself out of any anger you are feeling) rationally tell him that you need to be able to rely on him... that you are grateful that he calls you at 5, but when he realizes that he is going to be later he needs to give you a call then too. Let him know that you are left alone with your hormones and emotions running amok.

Just tell you husband that you would appreciate a call when he is running late because you worry and that you sure don't need the added stress while pregnant.

I can understand your frustration. But men don't seem to think the same way women do. But give him credit at least he has a job, because many don't have a job. And at least you don't have to work, when so many times it takes two to make ends meet. I am happily single, but I've been there and done that. I have to work a full time job and prn work on top of that just to stay afloat. But I wouldn't trade that for anything because I am happy with where I am at in life without having to depend on anyone. I am thankful these days to say that I still have a job that I can work everyday. Also being pregnant makes one more sensitive to issues that normally wouldn't bother them. Don't get me wrong I am being sympathetic to how you feel, but also trying to see the other side as well.

You might really hate me for saying this, but I do think he's having an affair. The statistics, sadly, also speak for themselves: most affairs occur when the partner is pregnant. The pattern you describe is too regular and distinct. How do you know that he has not told someone to tell you that he has just left? How do you know that the time is not actually being spent with someone at the office? How do you know that he is actually in the building when he calls you at 5pm? As you rightly say, if his cell phone is dying, what happens to all the other office phones? Why can't he call you on any of them and reassure you in some way? His actions point to a particular activity between those hours which he does not wish to be interrupted in, hence his cell phone going out of use on those occasions, regularly. And it is the regularity that is troubling. I think there are loads of questions that need answering here and sometimes, when we are afraid of the answers, we are also afraid to ask the questions, or to see that other things we dread could be the cause. Pregnancy is never an easy time for anyone so, I believe that for your own peace of mind, there is something you need to do, and soon. The next time he calls you and tells you the same story about his phone etc., accept it. Then about two hours afterwards, invent a reason and go to his workplace. Say something like you being in a tight spot and just wanted his reassurance and couldn't wait until he got home. Then you will see if he is really there or not. If he is there, you might be able to discover where he is exactly in the building or why it seems to follow such a pattern all the time. Working overtime seldom follows such rigid patterns like 5-9.30pm, unless it is regular agreed work times. So that would bother me greatly. Something doesn't seem right here, Minnie. No doubt you do trust him very much. The real question is now: Is he still deserving of that trust?

I guess thats a normal feeling of a girl especially during pregnancy. You feel you need your husband more often at your side compared when you are not on the way to have a baby. Just talk to him heart you heart, I'm sure he will understand you. Maybe he is just busy with his work...

Is this a one time occurance, or a once a week type of thing? I would think that if a one time occurance, you should be able to explain that you were worried, if it is not like him to do this sort of thing. If you know your love is true Say what you will He'll still love you But if about it you have doubt You may need some help to work it out.

The situation makes your paranoid minnie.. Just be cool! Well, really intriguing situation but just don't react immediately as the way of nagging him. Comfirm him in a nice way..ok? Talk and let him know how you feel..release it serenely and be good listener too.

first do not speak to him when you are angry because that can cause a fight. try also to see his side of things, you are having a baby he is doing what he can to provide for his family and that is to make a decent salary. With that in mind and how he loves and wants the best for the family you can talk to him about it.

i think you nee to talk to him first, why his late & he know your situation right know.as long that the company told you that his working its fine, but you need also to check by your self much better. be polite to sit with him & dont let your anger make you feel bad. just caml same like nothing happen but talk to your situation right know.

Aww Minnie, he is only trying to provide you with the best life he can give you. I know You are upset and just miss him. But tell him that, tell him you miss him and need him. Then cut yourself some slack its okay to feel the way you do... But no Oh pregnant one You can not slap him!

You have every right to vent here minnie...so vent away. Yes you think a loved one would call, when especially it keeps getting later and later and they don't have the decency to call. The closest I can relate is something my mother did many years ago...gee,think around 1990. She was just downsized from her job and it was nearing her last day of work. Some of the "gals" from her office decided to treat her to a dinner at a bar...My mother calls me up telling me this and she confessed that she really wasn't in the mood to go, but would, but wouldn't stay too long, maybe no longer than 9:00 p.m. Okay figuring out travel time figured it would take her at least an hour to get home so she should be home by 10...So ten o'clock rolls around... nothing...eleven...nothing..twelve..nada..So I'm figuring okay maybe she's having a good time after all and staying late...but then it got ridiculous...it's getting later and later. I didn't know which bar she had gone to, whether it was one near her office in Manhattan or a closer bar here in my area...and of course, NO PHONE CALL from her. Finally I tried to relax, not get upset, but of course I was, and decided to go to bed...but of course didn't sleep--I have one ear open wide listening for her to come home...Do you know what time she finally got home???? FIVE IN THE FRIGGING MORNING! No phone call, no nothing, my mind is swimming with dire thoughts of some accident or something....I mean yeesh, if I had pulled that crap on her in my teenage years she would have had the army, navy, marines, CIA, FBI looking for me

if it were me and it were my wife i would just ask her whenever she came in in a calm way what happened today how was your day and then if she told me about what happened like that osmething came up i would tell her that i needed her here with the children more because it was wearing on me and then i would see if she could talk to her boss and see if they could cut back on her hours or something like that...i hope that this works for you!

Ok well first take a deep breath and release. I understand why you are upset. It used to drive me crazy when my hubby didn't check in with me because I am a worryer. However I cured him of that because he really didn't like coming home to me having already called the ER, the police to check if there had been any accidents, and his mother. lol Try to see it from his side. You are expecting a baby. Yes the child needs a father but he is seeing it as he must make more money and work harder to support this new life. In his mind being the provider is of the UTMOST importance. You are the mother, the nurturer and you are concerned that he will miss out on the important things. Maybe you need to aproach him with your concerns gently. Tell him that you understand why he is working so much but that you are worried he might miss out if he keeps up this pace. Ask him what he thinks and feels about this. You will feel better after talking to him. You probably both will. Then again I'm assuming because you are so sweet that your husband is a nice guy. And this advice is written from that point of view. If he is then he will appreciate your concerns and will help you talk through them and address them. However, I do not advise slapping him or yelling at him. As much fun as this would be lol it won't get you far.