How do mom's at home feel about spending spouse's paycheck?

I am a man so I do not know what other mom at home thinks? But my opinion is why feel guilty? You are husband and wife. You took care of the house and the children. Its your husband duty to provide for you and the kids. Thats what I taught since I was a kid. Or vice versa if the mom work and dad stay at home. No need to feel ashamed to spend your husband money as long as your husband dont mind and you spend them wisely. What is his is yours too. Maybe after you can get rid of your guilt, your life with your family will become more joyful and free . Take care.

I am a stay at home wife (no kids yet!), but I make money online while I am at home. This definitely supplements our income so we can still do the things we want to do. True, we have to be a little more conscious about how we spend (for now anyways...I am working my way up to making a few thousand a month with the program I am using), but I think that's good. We both never worried much about money before we got married...we just made sure we paid the bills, then blew the rest. Now we have to be more responsible, so that we can provide for each other, our little puppy, and the kids when they come along!

I feel the same way. I just started doing transcription the beginning of this year. I also started my own photography business. We are TTC #3 now and I feel better about bringing in enough money to cover a couple bills. Not a ton but I feel like I am contributing now. My husband dreams one day of owning his own auto shop but I know right now is not the time. Hopefully in a few years I can be bringing in enough to feel comfortable with him opening his own shop. I do feel guilty about buying anything for myself. I bought myself a pair of $15 shoes and was riddled with guilt. I shouldn't be because they weren't that expensive and I did need a new pair. I also feel guilty for asking him to d anything around te house but I can only keep up with so much by myself.

Yeah, I'm with you on this one. I struggle with guilty feelings, even though I contribute a little, and I never spend on things that aren't improving our lives. But none-the-less, when it comes time to pay bills(which I handle) I have a hard time telling him we are short on one or two and need to take more money out than planned. He never makes me feel guilty, or even intentionally burdens me with this. It's just my own mind, wishing I could make things better.

yes i would feel guilty also to spend my partners money cause im a giving type not a taker but look at it on the bright side you are helping himk by getting the things that are needed in the home also you prepare meals take care of your guys son so believe you do contribute maybe not by money but by doing the things that are needed to be done

I think it is perfectly natural to feel like this. I have over the years had the same concerns. But my husband has had to be a stay at home dad while I worked and then we switched roles. We have both learned and agreed that the money in the household is not his or mine it is ours. He might work outside the home but I work in it. You are correct that this is irrational guilt but at the same time I think it is perfectly natural.

When I entered into my marriage I entered 100%. The term 'what's yours is mine and wheats mine is yours' rigns 100% true in our family.. I work PT currently, however, having had 5 babies in 6 years, I have not been employed on a F/T basis for quite some time. Having said that, I still work hard - being it at work, or home cleaning, cooking and spending times with my family. It is not always easy being a home maker - especially of 5 young children - and my husband recognizes this. How do I feel about spending his money? Nothing - because I am not spending HIS money - but ours. It would be the same should he ever choose to be at home F/T and have me work. (although I am pretty sure he would lose his mind if that were the case). I love what I do, and I may not get paid in $$, but the love and respect of my family for the work that I do is a paycheck in itself.

Nope don't feel guilty about it at all. It's our account and not his, even though he is bringing in the paycheck. I am doing a full time job also but just not getting paid for it, so I don't look at it that way. It was our decision for me to stay home and for him to work, so I consider his $$, our dollars and even though he use to manage our finances, I have since taken over, because he hasn't been that good in keeping track of things. I have my own bank account and now am working part time in the weekends. Those funds are left there for if and when we fall short each pay week. If not, we leave it until we need it. I am also allowed to spend it on my own personal things too that I need from time to time and record it on our budget sheet. He gets an allowance each pay check and I get one once a month, depending on what is owing and needed to be paid first. He works hard for our money and so do I, by taking care of my son and our household.

I also stay home with the children - and do not earn a paycheck. I am also the primary spender of the money and also the one who handles the bills. Before making a purchase I try to think about how that cost breaks down in hours worked by my poor beloved.... and if something costs him 5 hours of hard back hurting labor I really have to think if it is worth it.

I did feel bad and guilty for a long time. I don't anymore. I took over the finances from him last year and we are doing better than we ever have in the past 6 years. Now I feel much more like it is "our" money rather than just his. We are military so we definitely aren't raking in the money either..but we are much better off than we were when he was running things! He is happy about it and so am I.

I know that feeling very well but at the end of the day you are a union and like a party of one they day you got married. He must appreciate the fact that you are trying to budget or the likes. I think it is like one other responder said even though you are not getting paid you are still working so you should not think of what you are doing as nothing. You are still contributing to your and his family. It is not just your life but the life of your entire family. Money is not everything and should not be the focus either, he may work but only so that you may look after the family side of things, but that is nothing to feel guilty about as if he was to stay home and do home duties then the situation would be reversed and you would be the only one bringing home the bread and butter. However he would still be working but in the home front.

it can be done if you want to make it work. we have been just making it and sometimes not making it all since i quit my job 3 years ago. being home with my son is the most important thing to me and having me here to raise him has made all the difference to him. i have friends who work full time and their children are maladjusted because they are with strangers day in and day out. we have given up so much just so i can be here with him and i would do it all over again even knowing how hard it is and how we struggle. my husband is self employed carpet installer and carpet repair man. i do surveys and product testing to make extra money and come here too. i am also the bookkeeper for his business which saves us about $2000.00 per year but i do not get a paycheck of course. i also shop at aldi's for groceries and buy store brand things and shop at dollar stores and drive a car that is 7 years old and our credit cards are out of control but again i would not trade it. i want to raise my son. not have him with strangers or heaven forbid someone who could hurt him and be mean and impatient with him just so i can have more money. i think if more moms stayed home with their kids in the formative years we would see way less substance abuse and teen pregnancies.

I always worked at least part-time while my children were growing up. I was very fortunate to have a profession where I could do that. I personally feel it is a huge responsibility to be the sole provider for a family, and would not want to be in that position. However, it really is up to the two of you and if you don't fight about money or the lack thereof, AND you are a good full-time mom, more power to you. I was a much better mom when I worked outside the home and was generally more organized in all aspects of my life.

I feel the same way that you do. I have been going to college for two years. My husband also only makes just enough to pay the bills. We have three children and I can't afford to hire a babysitter. I feel guilty too because he works overtime every week just to provide for the family. I love being a stay at home mom but it does have it's disadvantages. I am glad to know that there are other people out there that are going through the same issues that I am.

People who don't consider 'work' staying home and raising kids, dogs, or husbands have no idea what it's all about. They think we are copping out of hard labor. Hard Labor??? I gave plenty of my time to 'hard labor' thank you. Anyway, my boyfriend makes most of the money, but I have no problem spending it. I cook and clean. I do his laundry, make his lunch for work, and I walk or drive him to and from work. I have no problem spending my(his) hard earned money, it's only fair.

I never felt that way when I was a stay at home mom, for the simple fact that although he was making the money, I was raising his, mine, and our's, taking care of the bills, groceries, home etc. So he did not have the added stress of bill paying, he had to do nothing around the house. Now, I have been divorced from him for 4 years, I went back to work after 16 years of being an at home mom, I am now with a wonderful man, 3 years, and we both work, and even though we have our seperate accounts we share in the bill paying, groceries, house keeping, most everything. However, I work seasonal and I am off 3 months of the year, no I'm not a teacher lol I work for the forestry service, wildland firefighter, we are off in the winter, so when I'm off I take over all the household chores because I'm home all day. I still get paid when I'm off, so the bill paying doesn't change. Think about all the work you do as a stay at home mom, maybe you won't feel so guilty.

I know exactly how you feel, it is strange as I have felt this way for a long time. I have been with my hubby for 9 years and when we started having children together he wanted me to stay at home with them. He did not want me to have to go out to work and our children to be left with carers all the time. I did intend to actually go back to work but we ended up with 4 kids in total and so now for me to go back to work would probably cost more than I could earn!! I too am conscious what I spend, we earn enough to cover the bills and then sometimes there is a little left over but I always make sure he gets whatever there is over me. It is a horrible feeling isn't it?

Nope, cant say that I have. I dont have a problem in the world spending the hubbys paycheck. I love being a stay at home mom, but I am hoping to get back to work very shortly. If I were you stop feeling quilty. It's not worth the effort or hassle to feel that way. Good luck.

Before I became a stay at home mom I wondered about such things myself. My main thought was of holidays. How does a woman who is using her husband's earnings buy him a gift? Well I have been a stay at home mother for over five years. I don't really view the money as being his alone. I figure I work just as hard for the money. I stay home and raise our children and do the housework, which saves him from paying for a sitter or a maid. Although he earns the money, I handle the majority of the finances, and spend what I see fit. It's not as if I'm going out and buying very expensive clothing for myself, actually I am quite frugal about my purchases. But even if he could afford for me to buy what I wanted, when I wanted, I wouldn't think twice about it. It's just as much my money as it is his.