will need your advices to calm down this anger.
@bongkarpasang (1377)
Indonesia
May 2, 2008 4:13am CST
Dear Friends at myLot,
Forgive my words if you have found that I've been too harsh in this discussion today. I just want to vent off these days.
And I really need your advice. Recently I think I've been too under pressure of work and I really get problems with my temper.
Even just small things would make me become really mad. Recently my anger is just easily triggered by various things ... and I feel that the situation is getting worse.
- Internet connection problems that cut my opportunity towards some online earning sites (XL and Speedy, both of these providers suck!),
- I failed uploading some certain files to certain file sharing host (damn it, ziddu. it always happened when the progress almost reached 100%!!!)
- the project deadline and bugs troubleshooting (I troubleshoot the other programmers' bugs, you know??),
- some ridiculous tasks at work,
- the employer keeps demanding more and more attention and adding more tasks (am I the only one working for him, by the way???),
- conflicts with certain members of the family,
- the heated temperature within the house,
- prices rising in my area,
- some news that just trigger my anger more,
- and I got difficulties in accessing one of my private email accounts,
- and when I checked the accounts, I think my blood is boiling when I found the same people spamming my email account again and some spams still escaped the filters.
many more to mention but I would rather end the list here.
I need your advice to maintain the anger. I need to get hold of myself.
Please suggest anything I would need to stop this bad temper and rage, I think my blood pressure is just getting higher nowadays. Many thanks for your advices.
2 people like this
16 responses
@whiteheron (4222)
• United States
3 May 08
I would state that you first need to get into a quiet place. Turn off the radio. Get away from the computer for a moment. Perhaps go for a walk in nature.
And then focus on the breath.
Deepen the breath.
Breathe in and out.
Focus on lowering it to your belly area.
Deeping breath.
Then focus on one thing in your environment.
Focus on one thing of beauty.
Appreciate it. It may be a flower, a bird, etc.
Focus on it. Savor the view or the smell or the feel of it.
Breathe it in...
You can also picture yourself like a tree on the ground.
Imagine roots going from your feet to the Earth below you.
See nurturing light coming down from the Sun and up from the soil through your body...
This imagery should help you ground yourself and help you feel relaxed.
You can take up some meditation techniques and practice them in the mornings as this will assist you to deal with every day stressors.
Some people find that practicing mantra repetition or repeating a word or phrase over and over again, typically one associated with a spiritual tradition or even a trait like peace that you would like to manifest in the world, is helpful. This word or phrase can be repeated over and over again and paired with the breath in the silence.
Some people like to pray or read scriptures at these times as this sometimes creates a peaceful mood.
Just remembering that this time will pass may be enough to relax you.
Peace and joy to you.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
3 May 08
Hello there my friend. I understand your frustrations and believe me, I have my fair share of anger management as well and I just couldn't control it at times.
There's just one or two days where everything just went wrong and I just couldn't put a face to it or solve anything at all.
What I could best recommend is for you to take a deep breath and exhale slowly and relax your mind, body and soul.
Try that and just listen to a soothing music or something and I'm sure by the next hour or so, things will start to be alright for you. Just don't be sad yeah my friend and do take care.
@lovespecialangel (3632)
• United States
3 May 08
What you need is a day to yourself without any problems. Go to a day spa or out to the movies or something like that with some friends. When I get like that, I know it's time for a break. Spend the day doing something that relaxes you. Trust me, it works.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
2 May 08
bongkarpasang as my son would say when I was getting hot and
steamed up over something , chill out. stop sit down take a few deep breaths and count to ten, still angry ,count to fifty
still angry go to your restroom and find a garbage can
and take your foot and kick it hard.say take that you
dirty rusty old tin can you. just picture all the people
who have made you angry this day and swing that foot
and give it a kick for these people. okay now take a deep breath and go back to work. you should now be laughting or at
least smiling. Now picture the people who have upset
you as wearing only mickey mouse underpants. now laugh
and forget you were ever angry. lol
@foundmyangel (607)
• United States
2 May 08
this really works for me when i get to where there is no end in site i will make a tub bath and while the water is running i will stick my face in the water and scream as hard and as loud as I can. With me living with my family it helps muffle the sound so I don't scare the begeebers out of every one. Being the man of the house we are not supposed to have emotions like that we are supposed to be the strong hold and all that crap which puts even more strain on us.i feel your pain and i empathize with you.
@Elixiress (3878)
•
2 May 08
I find that organising my problems help, actively doing things to sort out my problems rather than letting them carry on. Usually anger is stress at yourself, so doing something tends to relieve this and it minimizes the problems that you are facing.
Also find one or two things that help relieve your stress at the end of a bad day, maybe a long bath, listening to music, watching the TV, cuddling with your loved one, hanging out with friends etc.
@plumwish07 (4057)
• Indonesia
2 May 08
i understand about your dispair feeling about this matter. since i am user of xl provider and really getting disappointed of this matter too. today, i just change my ISP from xl to im2. so far the connection of im2 more stable than xl although it has limited quota for my account
which is different with xl.
as long as my experienc, the speed of im2 better than xl.
okay, thats for internet connection.
for another pressure then you should try your best to be cool and face everything optimistic. if you feel want to loose your temper then stop for while and do something nice to do as like your hobby. it will help you to maintain your emotional.
something sure, anything could not be in better result if you are not able to overcome your emotion. i know its hard but don't think its impossible to realize, am i right?
which is different with xl.
as long as my experienc, the speed of im2 better than xl.
okay, thats for internet connection.
for another pressure then you should try your best to be cool and face everything optimistic. if you feel want to loose your temper then stop for while and do something nice to do as like your hobby. it will help you to maintain your emotional.
something sure, anything could not be in better result if you are not able to overcome your emotion. i know its hard but don't think its impossible to realize, am i right?
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
2 May 08
well, my advice will only to ask you to take everything easy and relax yourself... it is not worth it to get angry and stress up just because of daily problems... you are going to have health problems and cannot enjoy life... i know it is easier to say than done as i am also have an anger management problem like you... but i am trying to control it and take it easy now... i pray to God whenever i think that it is too much for me and ask for His guidance... good luck for you and i wish you all the best in your effort to control your anger... take care and God Bless you...
@popciclecold (38721)
• United States
2 May 08
Hello bongkarpasang, There was a saying back in the day all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. Saying this is to say I know how you feel, I feel like that on my job. I get alone, and read a book and refresh myself. I look at things that soothe me and yes things that make me laugh. Begin to do somethings that make you happy. Because that much anger not tended to can one day make you snap. popciclecold
@2btrueinu (700)
• Philippines
2 May 08
Take a little break you need to relax a little bit maybe you are too stress. Sit down or lay down for a while set aside all the things that make you super angry. You can listen to your favorite music. Or you can go somewhere in the park or to the place where you want and take a deep breath or shout very load shout all your anger inside after that you will feel better. Life so so stressful so be careful on your high blood. Don't be so affected in all the things around you take it easy. Relax.... inhale..exhale... inhale... exhale.... feel better now
@Swaana (1205)
• India
2 May 08
I personally feel you are working more and pleasuring less. It is high time, you take off from your regular work. Shut off your mobile and shut off your laptop. If you are married, take your family or if you are single just go to some exotic location and enjoy for a week and then come back. This anger that you have mentioned here will definitely be subdued.
Also after you come back, to keep your anger in control, dont take all these silly things to heart. If there are spam mails, and also mails that have escaped the filters, just delete them without even opening it. If it is your part of work, to troubleshoot the other programmer's bug, then you should not fret for it. Enjoy it, laugh within yourself about the silly mistakes your collegues have done, but never tell them that they are so silly to do those mistakes. Keep your work updated and manage your time too. This way howmuch ever your employer demands, you could work accordingly.
Regarding the troubles and conflicts in the family: any one should stop arguing, why not take the first step and initiate the peace work. If you too keep arguing, there is going to be no end to this and as you say, you will be in pressure at home too. Learn to accept things as they are and all that I can say is you are over reacting to things that are not in your control. Learn meditation and learn to be as calm as possible this will help you reduce your blood pressure.
@Wickedself (720)
•
2 May 08
Ohh yes everyone has those bad days. When everythiong works against you. The best remedy that I can give you is the one that works for me. Pick up you Ipod(or anyother music device that you use) go to a long walk, preferably to a place where you usually donot go. Just silently take a long walk till you are quite tired. Come home and take a nap. You will feel quite peaceful. Well thats the best that I can do for you. I hope you feel ok after that.
@jesbellaine (4139)
• Philippines
2 May 08
Hi THere.
I remember I was so frustrated and angry before that I couldn't really control my anger towards my family and at work but I manage to do it with the help of my friends. They ask me to take at least 1 day leave and I did. We went to watch a good movie (comedy) then eat and talk some good old stuff that is far away from my worries...
It worked! It cleared my head then I started sorting things out on how to fix my problem. Thanks to my friends.
Hope this helps. Cheers!
@cecilm (4)
• Philippines
2 May 08
What is happening is something that you cannot control, if you get angry or not it will still be there and there is nothing that you can do about it. It is also important that you let your anger out as to relieve yourself of stress so here's what you should do...if you feel like screaming go to your bathroom and yell your heart out, go out and jog a couple of miles, a punching bag would also sounds great. Just dont think of controlling it or keeping it to yourself as that will 'cos you health problems, as what other suggested it will also be nice if you have someone to discuss it with, who knows you'll be surprised they also have the same concern just like you and they might even have found a SOLUTION!!
@danzer (2723)
• Philippines
2 May 08
Ha ha happy day to you my friend. Yes, we are humans and we get angry at times. I have something to whisper to you which might help you burst in anger, ahhh I mean laughter
. Come near me!
It might be helpful for you to put off what you're doing right now. Get your blade and think of slashing your throat. Ahhhh wrong, I mean get your bible and read some verses about anger or any part and try to meditate therein.
Whenever you feel angry, remember the Lord in your mind and heart. That will keep your temper in control. And one more thing, remember my smile when I responded here.
. Come near me!
It might be helpful for you to put off what you're doing right now. Get your blade and think of slashing your throat. Ahhhh wrong, I mean get your bible and read some verses about anger or any part and try to meditate therein.
Whenever you feel angry, remember the Lord in your mind and heart. That will keep your temper in control. And one more thing, remember my smile when I responded here. @broken_emotion30 (33)
• Philippines
2 May 08
Well you need to hang out with your friends and listen to your favorite songs or music that could cool you down or maybe you can take shower when you get home or go to the gym. Do something that could make you happy and enjoy, with that you will be ok.
