What's wrong with my friend?

@gxnfly (1147)
China
May 6, 2008 3:23am CST
Lin is one of my best friend.We've been close friends back in junior high school.She was a nice person,lovely and beautiful. But recently she is acting differently,just like another person.She is down,feel insecure and she get a little arrogant and defensive.She begins to belittle and blame others to hide her insecurities.She was a independent person,but now she tend to look for other people to provide it instead of finding security in herself.She doesn't make any decisions,she just agrees with everything others suggest. I don't know what happened to her.I try to help,but she is so defensive,she doesn't tell me anything,just tell me everything is fine. What should I do to help her?I really don't want to lose her,she is my best friend. Thanks!
4 people like this
11 responses
• United States
6 May 08
Since you are close friends, if I were you , I would ask her what is going on. And when she says nothing or everything is fine, say b*llsh*t and demand that she tell you the truth. You know she hasn't been herself and you want to help if you can. But if she still won't tell you , then just offer to listen whenever she wants to talk.Whatever happens, just be there for her. Hopefully if she sees that you won't be pushed away and you are willing to listen, without judging her or whatever is happening, she will tell you. Good Luck.
2 people like this
• United States
7 May 08
I am glad your family knows about your friend too. Between the three of you, your friend will have all the support she needs.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
6 May 08
there isn't much you can do if she refuses to tell you anything, but you can tell her that you are there for her as her best friend to listen without judging anything that is on her mind, that she can tell you anything and you won't criticize her, or tell what to do or not to do, then maybe she will open up, if she is afraid you are not going to agree then she will not tell you anything.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
6 May 08
If u are her best fren and good fren, dun push her.. Let her slowly open up to u.. The more u try to push her, the more she will feel threatened and scare.. Wat u can do is maybe, share your problems with her.. Let her find her solution from your problems.. It's kinda funny though, but sometimes things just happen this way.. It might not really work, but it's worth a try ^_^
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
10 May 08
maybe somebody influence her attitude or she has lot of problems that she can't solve alone that is why she is depending other. if she is your best friend and you have a close relationship, you can ask her to talk seriously and force her to tell what happen to her lately. i know she will listen you. be patience and kind to her.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
7 May 08
Talk to her and tell her what you havetold us. she may be going through depression and needs a doctors help or some counseling for depression. support and help herto explain what is bothering her. tell her you carefor her and only want to help. she will listen.
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
7 May 08
people change as they grow and live their lives. their circumstances around them affects them, sometimes good, sometimes bad, depending on what happened. maybe she suffered some hard life. something bad happened to her that hardened her...her harsh reality that she cant cope with and she is trying to numb the pain because making herself strong so that she can go on with life. i think give her space and let her be. maybe she wants to be alone now. but tell her you are there if she needs you.
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
6 May 08
I only know that people do change with time! Be kind and listen but try not to judge! Being young is not the best thing in the world, as there is so much to learn, and to understand! Life does get better as you get older.
• India
6 May 08
try and ask her what is effecting her behavior these days and make sure that you ask softly otherwise she may be hurt and that will damage your friendship. also , try to find out from any other sources what is the matter with her.
@athinapie (1150)
• Philippines
7 May 08
being her friend means that you should be there for her no matter what. and i think this time she really needs you even if she won't tell you. but since she won't tell you what's wrong then just respect her decision. but make her feel that you will never leave her. sooner or later, she will have the courage to tell you what's wrong. just be patient and strong for her.
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
7 May 08
Whew, this is a tough one, for since you dont truly know what is going on with your friend, its kinda hard to choose what to do in this situation. I would think that the best you can do if she doesnt open up, is to continue to be her friend, when and if she reaches a point that she needs somoeone to talk to, be there for her.
@maggie85 (34)
• China
7 May 08
Maybe something hurt her deeply, I think, otherwise, she won't behavior like that.