Help! How do I get my husband to get more involved around the house?

As a man i am probably in a good position to answer this question!! I help my wife out around the house just so that we can get more time together on our own. We have two young children and any time to just snuggle up in front of the TV is a bonus. Try to get him to tidy up whilst you finish off putting the kids to bed or vice versa, with the promise to spend some quality time together at the end of the evening. A strict routine with the kids also helps - our kids are in bed by 19.30 every night so we always get a bit of time together or to our selves before bed. Hope this helps

Talk to him first. Just say honey I know you work hard but we need to try and keep the house clean. Would you please help me? Well I went on strike at my house. I did nothing. Dont say anything about how messy things are. Let him figure it out. My family doesnt rely on me to keep it clean they help.

I am going to tell you the same thing I have told MANY moms on here and in person. Give him a bill. Get the prices for the things you do: housekeeping, cooking, taxi services, and so on. Then add up every thing you do for him in a weeks time. At the end of the week give him a bill. That will get his attention enough for you to say HELP ME!! He just might understand you too.

Just politely ask him if he could consider tidying up after himself as you do have to tidy after your day care kids and find it tiring (not sure if thats how its spelt!) tidying after him aswell. I mean if he could tidy his clothes/personal stuff and you do his dishes, try to compromise as you are both busy workers but the house chores should be shared between both adults! Im sure your husband will understand your view. Explain that you dont want to keep nagging him as you understand he works hard but you need the house to do your job as a day care worker, mother and wife. Hope you manage to sort things out with your husband.

Leave things unclean that he uses...Don't clean up after him. Make him clean behind himself... That should get his attention.

Honey, you better nip it in the bud now. How? I'm not sure. One thing I did was stop picking up the clothes no matter how messy the house looked. One day he wanted to know where his clean underware and jeans were. I asked him if he put them in the hamper, after a pause he said no, told him they were probably where he left them, well one day going to work without any underware, and having to ware dirty jeans took care of that problem. As for the dirty dishes, you will just have to catch him when there are not a lot of distractions and tell him how you feel. And you have to set forth reasonable demands. You are his wife, not his mama. That's one of the mistakes we women make when we first get married. We want to take care of them and nurture them. Then when the novelty wares off, we get our nose out of joint. I know, I've been there. I tell them if it isn't in the hamper, it wont get washed. If it isn't in the sink it won't get washed and so on. Then I stick to it. I don't mind picking up after them within reason. But when both parties work, both have to pitch in. Like I said, you better nip this in the bud pretty quick or else it will grow into resentment. And another thing I have observed over the years, men, not all men, seem to think that anything thier wives do to make a living is less then what they do. He goes out and works and he has done something wonderful, I am man, I am the provider. she goes out and works and she is just trying to keep busy, no reason why the little woman can't keep house and work. Women aren't taken as seriously as men. Now again, not all men are like this. But most of what I have observed are. And I'll tell you something, women get just as tired and stressed as men do when they work.

If it was me and my hubby I'd say something like "sweetie, do you know I spend more time picking up your stuff and after you than I do my day care kids?" Or maybe.. "honey, you between picking up after myself and you, cooking, cleaning and errands.. maybe I ought to quit doing daycare. Can we make it on just your salary do you think?" [Hopefully he wouldn't call your bluff.]

hi type4u... first of all, i want to welcome you into this mylot community... i say that you need to tell your hubby honestly in front of him that he is a grown up man and needs to clean up after himself... you have to tell him as well that you are running a daycare and you are very tired after looking after the kids... if he doesn't understand, then just leave them until your hubby can't stand it anymore and he will eventually tidy them up... just tidy up your stuffs and leave his alone... this is what i do to my hubby...

You can be very nice and ask him to help you out with picking up his stuff. and if that doesn't work, just let him know that your not going to be picking up after him, both of you work and both should help each other around the house. It's 50/50 around the house. both of you live, eat and sleep there. both of you work, I'm sure that both of you are tired,And if he still doesn't help you, leave everything where he left it. just pick up after yourself and I bet he will change. but he does need to give you a hand around the house. Question, does he get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, change the diaper?

I think if you sit down with him and not when he first gets out of work. Tell him that you have a problem and you'd like to discuss it with him before it blows up into a bigger issue. I'm not sure how you could get him to actually help out as in do dishes etc but I'm sure if he would just even pick up after himself, that would be a big help. At least it would be a start. You mentioned that he works a lot. So do you. Daycare is a lot of work and so is keeping up the home. Maybe there is a day in the week like sunday that you could devote a couple of hours to both of you cleaning together. My ex and I used to do that on saturday mornings. we'd crank some music and just go for it. It was kind of fun and the house got cleaned pretty quickly. It is his home too after all.

Try to speak to him frankly and explain the things. good communication in necessary on both sides. Sometimes when doing more work, they don't realize what need to be done. Unless you speak and explain, he may not realize it! cheers

you just talk to him heart to heart and also say what you wan to say..i know he understands it..

i think you need to tell him how you feel, explain how much you do in the house and ask him to help out give him afew little things that he has to do. or what me and my husband does is take it in turns ill hoover one time he does it the next or we take a room each and have to clean that one room! but i would just talk to him he may not even realise what hes doing! hope you get it sorted out! x

I just love this question! I thought I would enlist some help to answer you, though, so I asked MY husband what he would suggest to you and here is what he says! 1)Try to be more intimate with him and that will draw him home more and want to be around the house more! 2)Provide a place that's a "drop spot" that's easy for him to drop all things collectively in one spot instead of scatteed around the house and ask him to be responsbile for his own "pile!" 3)Discuss this with him RESPECTFULLY, and not be demanding. 4)Tell him you appreciate all the things he does do for the family, but you could use a little extra help! 5)Help him pick one household "chore" to do every day for you, such as taking the garbage to the can, or putting the dishes away.

I would tell him that you are his wife not his mother. He needs to grow up and take responsibility or move out! He is in a position of priveledge that requires his attention, not reliance on you. Nagging is the act of repeating the same thing over and over. You will be in danger of doing that if you sugarcoat your request, thus hit him hard the first time, not often.

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Hi type, welcome to mylot. I think you need to talk with him. Show him the work you have with clean the house and care about the kids. Tell him that if you don't have any help you will need to leave something without do. If he only keep in order his things it will be a big help for you. I'm sure that he will care about this. But if he doesn't you need to leave the things in the place he left it. After one or two days I'm sure that he will notice and goes to keep it. It is how I teach my ex partner lol.

mostelu men thing woman have to do all his work at home after marriage for 6 months he watched whatshe do and she also doo all his work as to satisfy him to win his love ,but whathe do he make use of it,u had made a mistake from the begining .and now even u cannot tel him to wah his clothe he might fight with u and u will have misunderstanding between u and him

I good sit down and talk may do the trick. You, like most women think they know they are doing things that bug you and that you are frustrated because they don't see the mess they are making. They don't. They just don't see it until it is pointed out to them. Communication is the key. If all else fails tell him about the survey that shows that seeing a man do housework is a real turn on for women (yes, this is actually a true survey)and if he wants more action, perhaps he should do some housework.

Communication is key where marriage is concerned. You have to tell him that you would like him to help out more around the house. Ask him what chores he might be willing to do to help out. A lot of men don't like to do housework, but you are working too so it isn't really fair that you should be responsible for all of the housecleaning. When you talk to him about it, don't accuse or express anger. Let him know how you feel and ask him if there are a couple of chores that he would like to commit to doing. You're on your own if he says he'll do the dishes and does them once every 2 weeks. Sometimes men have a tendency to do that. Good luck.