Dealing with brats!

This child is an only child and this sort of behaviour is seen a lot in only children. They often can't help it as they have the attention of both parents all the time. I would have said something to the kid though, including telling him he was a guest under my roof and that it was very rude to speak to the host that way. Ok, so that may just result in more problems, but I'm sure he would have stopped when he was not given what he demanded, like special treats. I'm so glad I have more than one child as they understand that they are not the centre of the universe and that I can't drop everything for them just because they can't find their teddy bear or they want a drink now! They have and are learning that I have other things to do for all of them and that if they just sit quietly and wait, I will help them when I have a minute, even if that means not putting my feet up while having a cuppa.

oh boy no I wouldnt of held my tougne if I see disrespect I correct the kid real fast as happened with my grandson and his mother my daughter did this she told him next time she heard him disrespect his mom she would give him a swat on the butt he hasnt don it again as far as I have heard but then I havent seen them sine Feb

Such a situation would have put me into such a quandry! I would not have known what to do. Looking at the situation in the third person gives me some perspective. Much like you, I would have worried that my child would pick up the other child's bad behavior. Kids role model each other. My child would have just assumed that such behavior was appropriate. You are so amazing to have held your peace. I am sure that I would have done the same. But, I would definitely have to speak to my own child and instruct her not to behave like the bratty kid. She would think such behavior was normal. Even little children understand what is right and wrong.

Actually this is like a Catch 22 situation. If you dont say you feel guilty and if you do, she might not like it. Actually it depends on the extent of friendship you have with this lady. The lad needs to be spanked thoroughly and the fact that the father is not there to discipline him and is not bothered when around is also sad. The poor lady must be very frustrated and I feel sorry for her. In your position, I would have not held my tongue and told off the lad and seen the consequences later on. I could never tolerate back talk and no respect for parents. I think you should talk to her or the childs future will be ruined.

It all depends on the parent. Some parents get really angry if someone else reprimands their kids. Others, like my neighbor, don't mind if you reprimand their child if you see them doing something that they shouldn't be doing. And, the mother seems to be looking for help since she had that conversation with you so, you could have offered her some advice on how to get control of her son. She was reaching out to you and, she would have likely been grateful if you had shown him some authority and taught her some techniques. For future reference if you ever find yourself in that predicament with someone else, you just have to make a judgment as to how the parent will feel about your showing authority over their kids. And, you could always approach the subject by putting yourself into the equation. Start the subject by telling the other parents that, if they ever catch your child doing something they shouldn't be doing, they have every right to reprimand your child and then turn it over into their hands by asking how they feel about others reprimanding their child. People feel a little disarmed if you approach things by suggesting someone take an initiative in your life. They may feel they can trust you to do the same for them.

knowing me i'd had a talk w/the child & the mother. i probably would not invite them back till he learned to behave. the sad part it's not his fault he's turning out the way he is, "it's the parents".

A lot would depend on the relationship I had with the mother. This mother sounds like she could use some advice from the nanny. If she asked you for some advice I think that she really wanted some help so give it to her.

I don't know if I could of held my tongue for very long if her son was misbehaving. I don't with my son and when he refuses to listen and or answers back, then he gets spanked. I give him a warning of what is to come. It's hard really because they are not your children, but when family visit and they don't respect the home they are in, let alone their parents and adults, then I feel I have to say something. I may not say it when it first happens, but if it goes on throughout the day then I'm inclined to say something and it's probably to the child. Kids copy other kids and I know my son does and if he sees this behavior and notices the parents don't do anything about it, then he will test it on me and probably even question it too.

He would not have talked back to me in my house. I would have let him know that I was not his mother and that he was to respect me. If the mother had a problem with that, I would have asked them both to leave. I would not want that child around my children very often. He sounds like he would be a very bad influence on your son. I feel sorry for any parent who has lost control over their child. The father needs to have a talk with the boy and tell him that he needs to respect and obey the mother. Or else daddy would be greeting him with a belt once a week. But the mother should really do better herself, otherwise her son will never respect her.

My cousins little girl is like that and she is only 5 years old. Shes very mean to people and her mother will not correct her. She told us once that she will take care of it when they got home. She will have forgotten about it by then and is probably thinking in her head well I got away with it then lets do it again. They spoil her like crazy. She is the only child and is a big time brat. I don't even want my daughter to hang around her. She gets jealous of my daughter who is only 2 and pushes on her and all kind of mean things. So in order to keep the peace we just take our child out of the picture and talk to her about how she is being treated and let her know that its not right so she won't in turn do it to her little sister.

It is a hard call when someone is a guest in your home, but if an 8 year old boy disrespected me, I probably would have told him that his mother was my friend and I enjoyed having her visit, so I expected him to act like a big boy and not like a baby. I would have said that only babies disrespect the hostess when they visit someone else's home. If the mother could not respect that, then I would not consider her much of a friend. However, I do understand that there are often other factors that have to be weighed in. Once when I was younger and less assertive than now, a couple brought their child to visit, and the child wanted to touch something that we did not want her to touch, and when I move it out of reach, this child lay down on the floor and pounded her arms and feet on the floor and screamed until she was blue in the face. The parents did nothing. I wanted to tell them they needed to take the child outside, but nothing like that had ever happened to us before and we really had no idea what to do. We just put up with it until they finally left and then had a talk with each other about not ever inviting them to visit again.

Well I must say that most of my friends have them even my son is one some days. eg. My friends let their 2 daughter (2 and 4) stay up till whenever they want sometimes till 4am because they would cry if she tells them to go to bed. Another friend never disciplins her 4 year old son and he talks back and swears to everyone (she thinks its cute). I used to keep quet but with things that affect my and my son now I say things. I say David thats Viktor's toy you cant take it home, or you have to share, or dont run while holding a fork. Or I would yell out (as they are usualy in the other room) "can you tell your son that if he does that this can happen" out of shame she does

I chaperoned my sons 1st grade field trip yesterday and the other 5 kids who were placed in my group were absolute hellions compared to my son. This one boy in particular really got under my skin. I told him that even though I may not have been "allowed" to put his butt over my knee I knew his dad and if I told his dad how bad he was being he wouldn't be able to sit for a week. That straightened him up after he went and told the teacher on me. To which the teacher replied, I'll tell your dad that you are disrespecting an adult on top of misbehaving on this outing. Score one for the good guys. I have a friend who has 5 kids and her youngest son and second oldest daughter are both evil. Every time I watch her kids she knows as well as I do that if I am yelling at anyone it is for a good reason and she has even given me permission in front of her kids before leaving, that I can beat them senseless if they don't listen to me. I would never spank another persons child but the fear of me actually doing it keeps them pretty much in line. There was a period of time when they spent 5 days with me and I was worried my sons would begin acting up as much as her youngest son does. But I told my boys straight out the first time I had to put her son in a corner that had it been one of them who had done what he had done they would have gotten their butts spanked and spent the rest of the afternoon in their room. I would have told this mother of this 8 year old hellion that if she continues to let her son back talk her she is only giving him permission to be a brat and making things worse in the long run. How is he ever going to learn respect for authority if he walks all over any adult he wants to? I would have given her "tips" to curb his behavior and threats of being sent away to military school go a long way in getting a kid to shape up.

Everyone is different as a parent, sometimes we see other parents with their children and think that it is terrible how they are spoken too by their children. I had a friend whose daughter used to talk to her like she was dirt, I had a son of the same age and even he was disgusted by the way that the girl spoke to her mum. One day the girl was really laying into her Mum about something and I just could not help myself I just turned around and gave her a mouthful, and I told my friend that she should not let the girl speak to her that way, there was no respect there at all. But by me actually pointing it out, it changed the way that they looked at each other and their relationship became a little better. Sometimes people do not see it until it is pointed out to them that it is wrong how their children are towards them.

This is a very sticky situation. Most parents don't like any criticism of thier parenting skills no matter how badly they need to know they are doing. If she brings the subject up I would just say "Listen I am going to be brutally honest with you....." and let her know what you have been observing. Don't say things like "your doing a cruddy job raising your kid" those kind of things don't help and puts the parent on the defensive. Good luck with that.

I would have been completely blunt, and told the mother that her child was behaving like a total brat, and that she needs to get tougher with him. I also would have said that had that been my child, he wouldn't have gotten away with that behaviour.

Your house - your rules. Your own son's sensitivities were at stake here. Who knows what sort of impression this has had on your child? I would have spoken out as kindly as possible...more for my sons sake than anything. That would hopefully get the message through to this mother too, although it sounds like her son totally disrespects her. This is what happens when there is no discipline and no limits set for a child. They become obnoxious children and obnoxious adults. This boy may never respect women as a result of his poor upbringing. It is not the mother's fault totally. His father's arrogance is also rubbing off onto the son it seems.

you should give advice to the mother as to what she should do to correct the behavior of her son. she will be sorry if her son continue on growing like a spoiled brat. i have a little nephew who is a little spoiled and whenever he is doing something bad, she gets spanking from her mother. and we are just thankful that he is still afraid of his father. because he is not afraid of her mother or any of us adults here. i guess it is better if a child is still scared of a certain person or something so he can be corrected by using that.

Kids must be controled at the start, though kids of nowadays are really smart, but control at start is much better then crying over split milk

I understand totally how you feel, I had the same thing happen to me last weekend. My friend came up and stayed at my house, the have three kids: 13 year old boy, 4 year old girl and 5 month old baby. Plus my 3 kids were there too, so it was an extremely full house. Anyway, There eldest son he is always quite rude to his parents and backchats to them like he is an adult and he calls his mum mean all the time, when she is clearly not. He was so rude and kept nagging and hassling his parents to go home as he didn't have his skateboard or playstation at my house. He also told my daugher, 12 years old that she is boring and this house (my house) is boring. I could not hold me tongue, I told him that he has no respect and that if he was my child I would ground him and send him to his room for what he said. My friend was glad I said that, as she has been having trouble with him at home and none of her discipline techniques is working. She wanted her son to know that he has a problem, so she thought it was good how I stepped in. I would not usually step in but we have been best friends for 10 years and I feel comfortable telling her son that. He ended up apologising as his mum had a really good talk to him. So it turned out okay, but being a teacher myself I cannot handle children disprespecting their parents and backchatting they need to learn manners.